Jen Riday (00:01.603) – Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. I'm excited to be talking with Hailey Rowe today, who I consider to be a very fearless person. She's actually not fearless, but she's gonna tell us how she does those scary things that the rest of us would consider fearless. So if you have ever wanted to do something that feels scary to you, this is the episode for you. Hailey, welcome to Vibrant Happy Women. Go ahead and introduce yourself for our listeners.
Hailey Rowe (00:28.786) – Yeah, well, thank you again for having me. And I'm a big fan of Jen and her vibrant life coach certification. I actually just completed that. And I am a certified human potential coach, life coach, and a business coach. And a lot of the work I do is with service-based entrepreneurs who want to start or grow their existing business and remove some of the time and mindset barriers that come with starting a business and growing a business. And so, um, I do coach sometimes on the mindset stuff holding people back, but it's also a lot of what do I even do to market myself and how do I overcome the fear of being visible and all that good stuff. So excited to be here and dig deeper into this topic.
Jen Riday (01:11.627) – Okay, so you left us with a really great phrase, overcome the fear of being visible. That is intriguing because a lot of us will spend our lives living in these molds or patterns of the shoulds, how we should be married, how we should show up as a mom. We should sleep in the same bed. My husband and I sleep in separate beds and I happen to love it. We should do all these things. We're not really showing up and being fully visible as our unique selves. So you happen to do that really well, I feel like. So you're in your twenties. And for someone in her twenties, who does what you do, that's what blows my mind because you're a business coach, you started a business and you're a wedding singer, which is so cool. So tell us about all of that, that cool stuff you're doing where you're being very visible in many ways. How did you have the courage to do that? Was it born in you or did you do something to develop it?
Hailey Rowe (02:04.242) – Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh, great question. So I'm actually 29, I'm on the cusp. That's pretty… And it's been a journey. So I started young and I think this is actually tip number one is the sooner you start, the sooner you get those fails out of the way and the sooner you grow. So I have always had this sense of urgency. Like I just wanna get out there and get things moving because I know there's gonna be failures. And so I might as well start right now doing those failures compared to waiting.
Jen Riday (02:14.823) – Okay, okay, okay. Mm-hmm.
Hailey Rowe (02:41.45) – And then also maybe getting to a point, I had this moment with my dad, who he worked a very traditional job and did very well, but he always has been into music and he's had other passions. And because he had a family and because he wanted to be responsible, he went the traditional route. And he told me one of my biggest regrets is, when I was younger and I didn't have as much responsibility, I wish I would have tried more things. And so, that was a huge point for me in my life to be like, all right, I have got a lot of responsibility right now, so I might as well throw things at the wall and see what sticks and try things. And so from, I got my first, I believe it was my personal training and then another type of certification, um, when I was like 16 and, and I started selling fitness DVDs as a practice to get into sales and I became one of the younger people in the company who was doing quite well with that. And then eventually I evolved and was like, this isn't really what I wanna do long-term. Got my bachelor's in entrepreneurship, started working in startups, which is another huge reason why I think I can be bold. It's because when you work at a startup, I was on their business development and marketing team. I was a fresh college graduate and they were like, can you write the manual for employees joining the company? Or can you…
Jen Riday (04:07.001) – What?
Hailey Rowe (04:08.586) – …you know, organize this training and can you recruit and hire like 18 people to our team? And I was like, I have no idea how to do that, but I guess I'll try. So it was a great opportunity. Of course, at the time I was very stressed and very nervous about if I was doing a good job or not, but it forced me to get out of my comfort zone to the point where eventually.
Jen Riday (04:17.728) – Wow. Yeah.
Hailey Rowe (04:33.622) – Because I used to tell myself the story of I'm not ready to have my own business. I have to get more experience. And in 2017, one of the companies that I worked for, the entire team got let go. And one day on a zoom call, the day after Halloween, they were dealing with a bunch of delays with opening and all of these city regulations and stuff. And so their timeline was very skewed and the entire team was let go. And so I was like, well, what I thought here was the safer path, the better path to get experience has disappeared. And so I might as well do what I want long-term, which was always to have my own business. And so I individually started working with coaches, with service providers on their marketing, growing their business, and kind of doing what I was doing at these startups, but on my own and with clients and have been doing it ever since. And so it's been a wild ride. And as you also know, I sing in a wedding band sometimes I used to sing in it all the time and now I sub for them because I needed some weekend time back, but I love it. And so that's kind of, I don't know if I answered your question, but that's kind of been the journey.
Jen Riday (05:35.817) – Yes. So as a wedding singer, just to ask a little more about that, you're standing on a stage in front of all these people. And one of the greatest fears on average people have is of public speaking. But public singing, isn't that even worse? Do you have any mindset tricks on overcoming the fear of even just doing that?
Hailey Rowe (05:57.09) – Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally. So I actually have always been more nervous to speak publicly than sing publicly because I started when I was five and it's more innate and as long as I practice a lot, I feel confident. So tip number one is practice so that even when you black out, it will come out of your subconscious. Like, you know, those words, like the back of your hand and you'll be confident if you've practiced it that many times. But the other thing is I – this really shifted how I felt about performing – I used to be really in my head about what are they gonna think and do I sound good and yada yada. And what shifted that for me was realizing that being nervous and in my own head is actually selfish and taking away from my focus on the crowd. So when I saw, oh my gosh, I'm so about myself in my own head right now about this performance. No, these people are paying me to be focused on them and be good and be like engaging with the crowd. So when I shifted from I don't need to be perfect and I don't need to sound the best and look the best, it's more so they're paying me to perform and entertain and be engaging with the crowd. That really helped my nerves. And I think the other thing when it comes to nerves is that first, it's always like the first five minutes of the first song. That's the one you’ve got to get through. And then once you get into the zone and you realize you don't die and everything's okay, it gets easier, but you got to put the reps in and always know there's going to be maybe that, that funky first song or that there will be some kinds of mistakes and just realizing you make it through and never ignore, never like pointing out, Hey everyone, I just messed up right there, you know, but just kind of like, keep, keep it moving, you know.
Jen Riday (07:47.74) – Yeah. Yeah, plus, I mean, I don't know if you think this way, but sometimes I do. Hey, at least I was willing to be there and experience the fail. I think that's still way better than just watching TV all night, right?
Hailey Rowe (08:05.158) – Yeah. Totally. Yeah.
Jen Riday (08:10.431) – So a lot of women and probably a lot of our listeners, well, a lot of people in general, they'll be stuck in this pattern in life where they're just waking up, going to the nine to five or getting the kids ready for school and they'll get to this place where they feel ho-hum, I don't love this and they'll play with the idea of, “Hmm….What could be my big girl job?” or “What do I want to do next?” or “What's my purpose?” or “What should I be doing with my life?” Do you have any advice on hitting those moments when we want to make a course correction and maybe live more purposefully and meaningfully? What do you do with those moments?
Hailey Rowe (08:50.19) – Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's a great question. So I think the first thing is to think about what if, what, what are your strengths, what are your passions? What do you enjoy doing? And what, if it's more of a business thing, what is there a market for? And making sure that what you're choosing is not just like a trend that's going to come and go, but like something sustainable. So it's about balancing those things. So for example, you might love, you know, putting tables together or something, but is that really a viable, like, should that be your hobby? Or is that really something you can do as a business? I don't know. You might want to get some research on that and maybe, maybe not. Right. But thinking about how can you tie, how can you take the themes? Like I love coaching because I grew up performing, so I know.
Jen Riday (09:28.24) – Right. Yeah.
Hailey Rowe (09:42.57) – You know how to, um, and, and entrepreneurship I love, because again, I grew up performing, so you had to go on auditions. You had to present yourself in a short period of time. You had to face a ton of rejection. You have to be charismatic. Like a lot of those traits ended up serving me in my business. So chances are you, the listener, have strengths that you've either gained [like] being a mom and coordinating your family and doing all the things, or in your day job that you could take and see how could I use these skills for good? How can I serve people with these skills? And I also think thinking about at the end of your life, this is, you know, what, what do you want to be the themes here? What do you want people to say your values were or what you accomplish or what's on your bucket list that you haven't done yet? And I think sometimes you just have to take a guess and pick the first thing and try it. Instead of what I see a lot of people doing where they're like, I just want to keep doing like I need to keep studying my options and stuff I think you should pick something do it for like six months or 12 months or something and you're always allowed to course correct but you're going to get a lot further in course correcting and knowing what you want to do by actually going out there and doing it
Jen Riday (10:48.723) – Right, right. Yeah, and also maybe not thinking there's one purpose. I think that's totally flawed. But I'm just gonna do this next thing that sounds fun. Like I'm gonna take a stained glass window class. That would be cool. I'll share a story with this. Recently, sometimes I have, we have a great home in a beautiful location, but sometimes I'll randomly type in and see what's for sale. Like within a three-mile radius, because I really like our area.
Hailey Rowe (11:03.778) – Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jen Riday (11:30.691) – Maybe 10 days ago, I found this house and I went, “Oh!” Every room. And then I went to tour it, hoping that it wouldn't be exciting. It was even worse [better] in person. I'm like, oh my gosh, how am I gonna not buy this? I didn't really wanna buy a new house. This isn't the story of where I buy the house, but I wanna share it because, I had to get really clear and think about why do I want this house? I was imagining a certain feeling with this beautiful decor and this beautiful view. And then I thought about, well, when do I feel that same feeling in our current house? The point of the story is, you know, as you're contemplating purpose, think about what feels good to you. And I realized just maybe a couple of days ago that what I love about our area isn't necessarily, you know, only going to be achieved through buying a house. But what I love is hiking with my family in all of that nature, living close to the trails. I don't need a certain house to do that. I can stay where I'm at, which is much more convenient, and have what I want. So the should of society, like we need the certain house that looks a certain way, was pressing on me. I had to pause and think, okay, what really, I'm going after a feeling. Can I achieve that feeling in this situation? And then to flip it, if you're in a situation at a job you hate or a house you really do hate and it's not giving you the feeling you want to say, okay, where have I felt this feeling? I'm going to go in that direction. That's your glimmer of where to go next on your path. So that's just my analogy I wanted to throw in there.
Hailey Rowe (13:07.154) – Yeah. Oh, I love that. And the point about your purpose being flexible or being something that could be applied to any type of job, I think that's the best way to go. So like, if you can make your purpose, my one of my things that is my purpose is I want to grow. So as long as I'm growing, and as long as I whatever I pick, I'm like staying focused on it and growing it. That's what I really love. And if I'm helping others grow and gain an internal locus of control, that's my other purpose. So my purpose is to help as many people as I can see that your thoughts and what we learn in the vibrant coach certification and, you know, feelings and actions, you can create any result you want, as long as you're willing to refine until you get there. So my whole mission is how can I do that both with myself and set an example for people and do that with others? And that could take shape in many different jobs. So even if I stopped coaching tomorrow, I could still empower people to have an internal, you know, sense of control in their life. Right. Um, so, and there was one other thing that really helps me when I get overwhelmed with all the different options. So, well, actually two, two things. One thing I knew I loved was listening to podcasts and going on walks. And I was like, if I could get paid to like listen to podcasts and go on walks. That would be my dream. But obviously there's no job that does that. But teaching and having a podcast and, you know, being on podcasts, it's all kind of in the same realm. So I made that a part of what I do to market. So you'll be able to pick up things like that. And there's one quote from Abraham Hicks that I really like and it's make a decision and line up with it. It's not the other way around. I think a lot of people are like, I have to make the right decision about the dream job and, and that has to be the right one. It's more like pick something and then find all the reasons why it's like, you are so glad you picked that and that was the best decision you could have made.
Jen Riday (15:07.312) – Absolutely. That's so good. Yeah, to emphasize that point, my friend, oh wait, I shouldn't share, but a friend whose daughter did not marry the way they would have hoped was really upset by it, but then she remembered, oh, but even if it's terrible, she's gonna learn a lot from this. So to have that same mindset of, even if it doesn't work out the way I envisioned, I'm gonna learn a ton about what doesn't work and to celebrate those failures as part of the process. We need a bunch of fails to get to the W's or the wins. So yeah, that's awesome. Well, so you were in the Vibrant Life Coach certification and having worked with a lot of coaches as an entrepreneur and a business coach, you work with a ton of coaches from a ton of programs. What stands out to you as unique about the Vibrant Life Coach certification?
Hailey Rowe (15:43.743) – Yep, totally. Yeah. So not only have I been in a lot of certifications, but like I said, you, you're nailed it. I talked to so many people from different certs. And the thing that I really loved about your certification was it's very practical and real and able to apply to clients instantly. So it's not like, like I've done certifications where they spend a lot of time on, on like the deep psychology, but then they don't give you a way to actually take it to a client session or apply it with a client or even yourself. And what I liked about yours is every week, it was a very clear focus of how could we apply this with ourselves and how could we do this with our clients. And the principles are timeless that you teach. It's not something that's, you know, going to change. It's, it's, this is how the universe works, y'all. Like we think something makes us feel a certain way, we do something and we get a certain result and it's simple, but it's still so powerful. So I loved that. And I also liked that you equipped us with different tools for different life categories that were the core life categories. So it wasn't anything like, as they, I don't know who said this, but somebody said like, don't major in the minors. And what this program was, was it focuses on the majors that are gonna make you an amazing coach and did it in a way that's very usable. So those were some of my favorite things about it.
Jen Riday (17:25.575) – Mm-hmm. That's cool. I heard you say on our recent, you know, the day you graduated that you particularly were planning to use what you'd learned to help your clients with emotions. So expand more on what you mean by that.
Hailey Rowe (17:38.986) – Yeah. Oh, yes. So the whole concept about how we need to process emotions instead of push them down, ignore them, numb over them, that is something that I've learned over the last couple of years and that I want to help my clients with deeper. And that was part of why I wanted to do your certification because you give like the Feel It To Heal It tool, for example, I love that and I think that it's so usable and for somebody like me who's very logical, very analytical, it gives me a framework that I can use to understand my emotions better and shift to something more empowering. And the fact that you shared like, what are our common ways that we deal with feelings that are unproductive and how do you actually process them so that they don't keep coming back stronger or that you keep taking, you know. allowing these feelings to cause harm. I feel way more equipped now to be observant of my feelings to not let them get in the way of certain things I want to do and also help my clients do that. And I want to incorporate more of the feel it to heal it. And you gave a couple different tools, but you know, definitely that one more in my program and with my clients.
Jen Riday (19:01.051) – Yeah, I feel like society is starting to grasp the importance of understanding, you know, everything with goal setting isn't just happening in the head. So for our listeners, if they want to do something scary or taking a new chapter or next step in any area, we can't just will it to happen by changing our thoughts and doing affirmations every day. We all have these experiences from the moments we were born in our childhoods. And that stuff is still there and wired )our brains. And I feel like we're starting to grasp that as a world that trauma resides in the body, our emotions impact the body. And we can't just change on the cognitive level, we've got to get the body and the feelings involved to make those changes stick. And I think the other thing with feelings that I really feel better about now that I've done your certification is like not making them wrong and validating and kind of like not beating yourself up for your feelings, but more so using them as like, there was a question you asked, like, what would a friend say if I was feeling this way? Or what is this feeling trying to teach me? And usually it's always there for a reason. And you can find out some really good ways to more authentically shift your thoughts to something you believe in when you actually learn the lesson from the feeling instead of just skipping over it or trying to do a positive affirmation as you said.
Jen Riday (20:28.003) – Yeah, yeah. And with that, the inner child stuff that I teach helps me a lot because you can step back and observe your reaction emotionally or otherwise, and imagine just a younger version of yourself. Maybe it's yesterday, yesterday self, or your five-year-old self. They're scared of that, but you can stand as an independent observer and just kind of have a little thought process with yourself and heal that right up. You know, I think that's cool to detach and not feel like our thoughts and emotions are the reality. It's just thoughts and emotions. We can deal with that, yeah. So, Hailey, if someone listening is a coach and wants help with business, or not just a coach, but wants help with business or developing something out there where they're more visible. Where can they connect with you to learn more about what you're doing?
Hailey Rowe (21:21.682) – Yeah. Well, if you're looking into custom coaching, I am on Instagram @Hailey_Rowe, feel free to connect. And it's H-A-I-L-E-Y underscore R-O-W-E. I also am HayleyRowe.com. I have a free niche training for people who are trying to figure out what is your purpose? What do you want to coach people on? Or how do you want to help people? That can be useful for you if you want to check it out. And then I have the Health Coach Nation podcast, which Jen was just on, and we're going to release that episode soon and the marketing hub Facebook group for service providers and entrepreneurs who wanna connect, network, all that good stuff. So those would be the top places.
Jen Riday (22:01.359) – So your website, one more time, we'll just lock that in our brains and we could probably find the rest there. HayleyRowe.com
Hailey Rowe (22:04.343) – Yep, yep, HayleyRowe.com.
Jen Riday (22:09.399) – Okay, very cool. Well, Hailey, thank you for being an example of what it means to make yourself visible. I want to challenge everyone listening to think of a way to do that, to step outside of the comfort zone and the patterns you're in, do something that scares you because as I always say, all good things are on the other side of fear. But I want to leave the ball back in your court, Hailey. What's one piece of advice you would have for listeners as they contemplate facing that fear
Hailey Rowe (22:40.862) – Yeah, I think one thing I would say is having willingness to feel bigger feelings and remember that by you not doing the thing you might want to do that's scary, you're still experiencing negative feelings because you're probably feeling regret or you're probably feeling like, you know, maybe fearful. And even if you do the action, you're still going to feel fear, but there's an upside on the other side. So which one do you want? Do you want to do the thing that is scary, but it has growth and upside potential and gets you doing what you want to do in your life? Or do you want to stay in, well, no, I'm just going to stay stuck and stay in fear. And one quote, I can't remember if I'm saying it right, but it's like, I'd always rather say, oh well, than what if. I'd always love to do something, try it, be like, oh well, that didn't work, and I'm going to try the next thing compared to what if I had done that and you never got that chance.
Jen Riday (23:40.803) – Oh, that's good. Okay, we'll leave it right there. Thank you so much, Hayley, and I appreciate being on the show.
Hailey Rowe (23:49.75) – Thank you.
Jen Riday (23:50.07) – Jen: Isn't Hailey impressive? And don't you wish you knew in your 20s what Hailey knows in her 20s? I love it. Well, no matter what age we are, we all can continue to grow. And I want to leave you with a thought that I kind of lived by. All the best things in life are on the other side of fear. I'll say it again. All the best things in life are on the other side of fear. Now, I'm not talking about the true fear of danger like you might get if you go jogging alone at 4 a.m., No shade on you if you do that. But that sounds scary to me and I wouldn't want my daughters doing that. I'm talking about instead the fear of things that you kind of want to do. It sounds exciting. Wouldn't that be cool? But am I good enough? That fear, the fear of putting yourself out there, doing something new, getting out of your comfort zone and being more visible. You know, I talk a lot to my students in the Vibrant Life Coach Certification about that fear of being visible. It's a real thing. Half of all of my students come in convinced that they're not going to want to be a paid coach. Half say, no, I'm never going to work as a paid coach. I'm just doing this for me. I want to be a better mom. I want to be better at managing my anxiety. I want to have better boundaries. Et cetera. And then inevitably, by the end of the program, I'll ask the question, How many of you are planning to be a paid coach after this? By the end of the class, it's always fascinating. 90% have decided, Oh, I could do this, I could be more visible. And I think that that fear of visibility goes away. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more you learn, the more you work on self-love and boundaries and understanding your emotions. You start to realize all humans are struggling with the things you think only you are struggling with. All humans face that idea that they're not good enough for something. So if you'd like to learn more about that, the next round of the Vibrant Life Coach certification is happening starting in September. You can learn more about it at JenRiday.com/certification. My friends, I love you. Don't forget all good things are on the other side of fear. Don't be afraid to be visible. I'll see you again next time. Until then, make it a vibrant and happy week. Take care.
Outro: If you enjoy this podcast, you'd love Vibrant Soul, the place to heal, transform and expand your soul with like minded friends. Join us at JenRiday.com/vibrantsoul.