356 Transcript: The Value of Coaching for Transformation

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Intro: [00:00:00] Are you ready to expand your soul's capacity for joy? Then this podcast is for you. I'm Dr. Jen Riday, and welcome to Vibrant Happy Women. 

Jen Riday: [00:00:14] Hey there friends! Welcome back to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast. I'm Jen Riday and I'm here with my guest Linda Folken, and our story. We talked about this before we hit the record button. Our story begins in 2018 and I'll turn it over to you Linda.

Linda Folken: [00:00:30] Thank you. Hi, I'm Linda Folken, and I am definitely a vibrant, happy woman participant. And I have to say that I started listening to the podcast that Jen has in 2018, and it has really helped me to align with my values, and it really helped me to transform into the person that I really, truly want to be. And with that said that I participated in the virtual retreats and in the live retreats I've taken. I've been part of the the club, which has been all very, very helpful. I love all of the different tools that have been presented. In particular, at this point, I think I've incorporated the majority of them from – my favorite is the BE HER. I start out every day with the BE HER. I love the BOLD meditation. So that's, you know, before I even get out of my bed, I go through the BOLD meditation and then, you know, I hit the floor, I do a couple of yoga exercises, and then I take the dog for a walk. I take a look at my affirmations for the day. And the reason behind that is that that's something that I do every day. It sets the tone for my day. And I actually, based on what happens during that period of time, I set the intention of what I want that day to be like or what outcome I want for that day.

Linda Folken: [00:02:26] So right now I'm working one day a week at the hospital, and so it's like, okay, what do I want out of that day? And, you know, it could be seeing the smile on the patient's face. Or it could be that I want to provide above and beyond to my coworkers or whatever it is. And then at home, of course, it's different. I went through a terrible time with my daughter, and I have to say, I don't know whether I would have gotten through it if I didn't have that Feel It To Heal It. And that really, you know, I was able to really sort out my feelings on, you know, and identify, like being able to just find it in my body, like where it is and identify. It really helped me to work through the whole process. So that was another one of my favorites. And I have to also say like the the feeling wheel, I mean, it's incredible. I was identifying with feeling good, feeling safe, you know, like it was just about five different feelings that I was able to, you know, communicate. And after looking at that feeling wheel, I'm like, there's thousands of different feelings that you can have. And to have the words that express that particular feeling is, you know, so empowering.

Jen Riday: [00:03:58] So I'm curious, what do your spouse and kids think about all these changes you've made?

Linda Folken: [00:04:03] Well, I have to say that I think that the biggest thing is that I show up in the moment. When I was like working and taking care of the household, doing all these different things, you know, trying to be the super mom. I wasn't present. And I think that that the biggest thing is, is that I am present now. And I think that they also feel that they're seen and they're heard as opposed to just going through the day.

Jen Riday: [00:04:39] A lot of times when we're afraid of feeling our feelings, we'll stay too busy being over busy as a form of numbing, isn't it? So I think that's a cool transition. Well, I know part of the story you're going to share with us today is a transition out of a workplace into another. You went through the Vibrant Happy Women Coach Certification. Tell us about that. That transition and particularly that painful moment when you were essentially pushed out at work. It's not something I've been through myself, but a lot of people have gone through that.

Linda Folken: [00:05:13] Yeah, I have to say. I mean, there were it was a cold, you know, winter's day. And I got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore, and I was I found myself on the bathroom floor feeling so bad about what was happening at work that I started to cry. And you know how the cry comes from. Like, from the bottom of the pit of your stomach. It was just a full-body cry that I just couldn't do it anymore. And at that point, my husband and my daughter were like, coaxing me out of the bathroom and I was just hanging on by my fingernails saying, no, I can't do it. And I just felt at that point that I had the golden handcuffs on contributed to the household 50%, and for me to walk away from that position was a big financial burden.

Jen Riday: [00:06:18] So you were pushed out. You're potentially facing the loss of half of your household income. You're in this really tough place and your family's trying to get you off the bathroom floor. What happened next?

Linda Folken: [00:06:30] You know, I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps with every ounce of my being and, you know, put in a resume to another area in the hospital. And it felt like as the boat was pulling away, that, you know, where I was going to be out on the street. That lifeboat of a position came along and I stepped on it right before I would have fell in the water. And I'm just yeah, I'm just very thankful for that because that was really the beginning of me realizing that there is a place for me in this world. And I really feel that it was a God moment for me. And so from there, I was introduced to a business coach or an executive coach, and that started to help me to rebuild. And that was really the inspiration for me to get into, you know, coaching myself. After the executive coach, I hired my own coach. And I have to say that what helped me there is that I didn't even know who I was anymore. Like, I had just gone through this traumatic experience, and then I was trying to do the best I could and put my right foot forward and all that, but I didn't even know what my values were. And so we went through my values, my what my core beliefs were. And that really helped me to start to rebuild and, you know, become a healthier person. So I was so interested in that, that I took what I learned, and I started to become more of a using a coach style leadership in the position that I had gone to. And I was fortunate enough, again to create a program and with creating this new program and, and from there I said, you know what? I loved working here, but my values were a little bit out of alignment with what was happening there. Nothing like what happened the first time along, but enough that I said, hmm, you know, I think I'm ready to try something new, but I had that, um, what do they call that? The, um, syndrome, where you don't believe that you.

Jen Riday: [00:09:26] Imposter syndrome?

Linda Folken: [00:09:27] Oh. Thank you. Yes, the imposter syndrome. So I felt like I had the imposter syndrome when it came to coaching. And hence, when you offered the coaching certification, I said, wow. This came, like, at the perfect time. I think I was the second group that had gone through. And so I had heard about the first group, and I think that there might have been even an interview that I heard and I said, oh my gosh, I have to get involved with that program. So I'm very thankful to get in. And that's where I really found that not only did I pick up skills. From along the way, but that really cemented things in for me in the sense of what coaching was all about. The different tools that are so helpful to people open up and be heard. Particularly with the thought tables, that is, you know, such a nice foundation. And then from there, I decided that, you know, I wanted to be a grandmother and be more present for when my granddaughter came along. And now I have a granddaughter and a grandson, actually one from my daughter and one from my son. And I'm just so thankful because now I can be there for them. I've gone through the coaching certification course and I'm now helping women and particularly, you know, like CEOs of small companies that thought that they wanted to do something different with their teams.

Jen Riday: [00:11:18] So your door closed, the window opened, or another door opened. And here you are. You're a certified coach working with CEOs, helping people add wellness to their lives. So for our listeners who are saying, how can I more easily add wellness to my life, what what advice would you give them?

Linda Folken: [00:11:38] Well, I have to say that really starting from where you're at and that is like do see and create. And I talk about it in the book that I am a featured author in, that is Business on Purpose and DO is just doing it yourself. Like, for example, I started walking on my lunch hour and then my whole team started one by one, walking on their lunch hour and then, you know, SEE, see opportunities. Being grateful is something that definitely increases the positivity of people. So seeing the opportunity to ask people before a meeting starts, you know, what are you grateful for today? And just going around the room and there's a 2 to 3 minute meditation that we do so that the whole department gets in on this like meditation. Do, be, and create. So I think that that's, that's really the message that I'd like to share.

Jen Riday: [00:12:51] So you've had a life so far up to this point kids, grandkids, career. What do you look forward to?

Linda Folken: [00:13:00] That's an excellent question. What do I look forward to? Well, one is the retreat. And that's because what happens is, is that you meet women from all different walks of life and at all different stages, like, I'm looking forward to being able to help those women that are just starting out and then to connect with the women that are a couple of steps ahead of me. So that is in February. So that's the beginning of the kickoff for the year. And I think that by setting my goals and my intentions, that will be solidified at that retreat, because I have that container of time that I will have to really listen to my own thoughts and for my true self to come out on my journaling pages or discussions with the other women. And so that's something that I'm very much looking forward to, because that will set the tone for the year.

Jen Riday: [00:14:09] I have to ask you about that. The container to think, a space to hear yourself think, really, who do you live with? Is it your spouse? And is that it? The two of you?

Linda Folken: [00:14:19] Yes. And our dog, Macy.

Jen Riday: [00:14:21] All right. So everyone, we all have a story that, “Oh, my kids, it's my kids. I can't hear myself think!” But look, Linda has empty nested except for her dog and her spouse, of course. And still she needs a container where she can stop her regular life and hear herself think. That's one of the reasons I'm looking forward to the retreat.

Linda Folken: [00:14:43] Absolutely. And it really has set the stage that for me to take, I would say on a quarterly basis for myself, time making sure that I have that time that no one else interferes with me.

Jen Riday: [00:15:01] Where you don't have to leave a part of you waiting to be interrupted by somebody or something. Right?

Linda Folken: [00:15:09] Exactly, exactly.

Jen Riday: [00:15:11] It's awesome. So I appreciate you sharing. It's super inspiring. You know, that we can take those scary leaps and when life seems to be happening to us, it's actually happening for us. Where can people connect with you online.

Linda Folken: [00:15:27] On LinkedIn and it's Linda Folken. And also I have a website, LindaFolken.com. And those would be the two best places to get in contact with me.

Jen Riday: [00:15:38] Okay. Thank you so much for being here today Linda. I appreciate it.

Linda Folken: [00:15:43] Thank you Jen. It was a pleasure.

Jen Riday: [00:15:46] Did Linda's story inspire you as much as it did me? I hope so, because it's never too late to make a change. These moments when life seems to be closing a door or life seems to be happening to us, really become moments when life is happening for us. I've seen it again and again for myself when I struggled with my teens, when I had struggles in my marriage, I had enough pain to want to get out of that pain by trying something new. So Linda did that, and she's continuing this journey of growth. If you want to be on an amazing journey of growth with heart-centered women, authentic women like Linda learning the tools she mentioned like the be her morning ritual, BOLD meditation, Thought Tables, the Feel It to Heal It Method – join us at the Vibrant Happy Women retreat where we do this work, where we expand our soul's capacity for joy by being empowered to take responsibility and to take charge of our happiness. Doors close soon. You can join at JenRiday.com/Retreat. Thank you so much for listening. I wish you a fantastic rest of your week and I'll be here again next week. Until then, make it a vibrant and happy week. Take care.

Outro: [00:17:05] If you enjoy this podcast, you'd love Vibrant Soul, the place to heal, transform and expand your soul with like-minded friends. Join us at JenRiday.com/VibrantSoul.