Transcript 362: Social Media’s Toxic Impact on Women: An Honest Conversation (with Kara Alaimo)

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Jen Riday (0001.527)
Hey, everyone, I am excited to be talking with Kara Alaimo today. And she wrote a book called Over the Influence, Why Social Media is Toxic for Women and Girls. And oh my goodness, do we need to hear this? Now, don't run away; you're not going to feel guilty. She has some doable strategies. We're not about the guilt or the shame. But I think we all can relate to the idea that, “Hello, social media is quite toxic.” We know this. So we're going to just hear why it is, especially for women. Often, it's different compared to what men are experiencing on social media. We'll learn more about that. So welcome, Kara, I'm so glad you're here.

Kara Alaimo (0042.774) Likewise, thank you, Jen.

Jen Riday (0045.143)
So tell us all the things. I'm super excited about this topic.

Kara Alaimo (0049.614)
Oh my goodness, how much time do you have? So in this book, I look at how social media is affecting every single aspect of the lives of women and girls, from our teen years to how we date, to how we parent our children, to our careers, to how misinformation is directly targeted to us as women and designed to exploit our vulnerabilities on social media.

Jen Riday (0051.959) Yeah.

Kara Alaimo (0115.086)
But I come with receipts; I come with answers. I also offer a lot of tips on how to handle your kids' use of social media, how to use dating apps strategically to find who you're looking for. And ultimately, I think the big message of my book is that if we as women decide to band together and collectively change how we use social media, who we follow, what we share, what we do when we witness sexism and misogyny online, We could change a lot of things and make both the online and the offline worlds much better for women.

Jen Riday (0152.183)
Cool, cool, that's great. Oh, so many topics. Where do we start? Well, let's start with influencers. One time, one time, I made the mistake. Someone asked me, Jen, what do you do again? I said, oh, you know those ladies on Instagram, those influencers, it's kind of like that. And they just looked at me and shuddered and like, ew, I don't like influencers. You can't be that. I'm like, well, yeah, I don't like them either. But I guess how do we begin to? Define why that whole influencer vibe is toxic, because I don't wanna be toxic online. That's why, lately I haven't spent a lot of time on social media, and I'm torn about how to use it personally and for business. So tell us about that.

Kara Alaimo (0237.326)
Oh my goodness, I think that comment is so telling because one of the theories in my book is, of course that the reason why people love to hate influencers is because so many content creators are women. So, the majority of influencers or content creators are women. And, of course, a lot of people have this misunderstanding that it's a hugely lucrative, glamorous job. However, the reality is that the majority of influencers are women who never earn enough money to support their families. But a lot of women, including you, of course, Jen, wield something else that is really threatening to a lot of people when you're an influencer, and that is power, right? Influencers help determine what people buy and what they think, and I think that's threatening to a lot of people, and that's why influencers aren't really liked, despite the fact that we all click like on a lot of their comments and follow them. And I'm actually, you know, very sympathetic to influencers in this book. I think we could talk a lot about how some of the content they share is quite toxic for us. But I think we have to also recognize what so many influencers are up against. I think a lot of influencers are women who, 20 years ago, would have been freelance writers.

Jen Riday (0339.447) Oh, boy.

Kara Alaimo (0400.942)
But now you can't make a living writing articles for magazines in the way that you could have a couple of decades ago because now all of the advertising money that used to support that goes to Facebook and Google, right? Instead of newspapers and magazines. And so I don't have to tell you that as a mom, it's hard to work a traditional job where you're expected to be at the office and simultaneously pick up your kids somewhere else at the same time in the middle of the day. And so, a lot of women need flexibility.

Jen Riday (0414.487) Right.

Kara Alaimo (0430.606)
And this is what they turn to. And so, yes, it's the case that influencers post these glamorized lives that make us feel badly about our bodies our children, and our homes because what they post is so hard to achieve for us as mere mortals. But I think we need to recognize that these women have huge incentives to do that. Because if you talk to influencers, they'll tell you that the kind of filtered glamorized content they post is, of course, the kind of content that attracts brand sponsors, which is what allows them to bring in some money, right? No one wants to buy products so that they can look like harried women with messy homes and misbehaved kids. So this is what these women are up against. And, of course, that's why they're presenting this version of their lives that can make us as followers feel really quite badly about ourselves.

Jen Riday (0512.969)
Wow. Well, and that's super interesting. I personally, before you spoke, was thinking influencers. I'll describe the stereotype in my head. Women with an earthy palette, earth tone colors, the hat, the nature, the beautiful grasses behind them, they're outside. It's super curated. And so that part of me inside says that's not authentic. But then you're saying, oh, but they were just trying to make a living, and this is what gets clicks. And then I thought about, I have been wanting to renovate a few things. What accounts did I follow? Sadly, I'm so almost embarrassed to say, but I have followed that exact type of account. Oh wow, I love their decor. Oh, they're doing those really modern, fresh black doors. Those are so cool. And they all have the same home decor style. And they all present white kitchens, right?

Kara Alaimo (0620.327): Well, there's a reason for that. And it's because if you have a white kitchen, any product will look good in it, right? And that's why the rest of us now have white kitchens because it's what works for influencers.

Jen Riday (0621.321)
YES! YES, THEY ALL – Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. And so I have always said, you know, I think back to the days of June Cleaver, TV was the new media, right? And women were watching June and her pearls and her A -line dress. And we all talk about how toxic that was and how depression ran rampant, and women were having midlife crises because they had this stereotype they were following that they couldn't live up to. And here I am, and I know better and I'm contributing because I'm giving my likes and clicks to the exact same thing. What can we do about it? I feel so embarrassed. Oh, my goodness.

Kara Alaimo (0709.23)
Well, it's addictive, right? But don't feel embarrassed, Jen, because I think also we, as women and as moms, often need mental breaks. And when there's chaos surrounding us, my kids just went back to school for the first time in a week between snow days, sick days, holidays. They never go to school. And so sometimes you need a moment of calm. And sometimes looking at a beautiful home or a beautiful family or dress or whatever it is is just a way of escaping your reality for a moment. And so I don't think we should be blaming ourselves too much, either.

Jen Riday (0749.079)
Okay. You know, there is something about, I have spent hours online, not just on social media, figuring out what my decor aesthetic is. And I do love the feeling and the vibe of that earthy, it gives me a certain feeling and maybe we're all wired to have that same feeling. That could be the break I give all of us. But yeah, it feels good, certain decor styles. Yeah.

Kara Alaimo (0809.71)
That's right. It's calming. I really enjoy having a home that is sort of decorated to my taste and I don't feel like I have to apologize for it because my whole life is chaotic. I have young children. I have, you know, a demanding job like all of the rest of us and being in a place that feels calming helps me. And so, you know, I don't think that we have to beat ourselves up for things like this, but I do think that we have to recognize that, you know, what we're seeing online is often not a very good reflection of what it's really like to be a woman or a mother in our society. I think we need to balance what we follow with those moms who do show their messy homes and are real and authentic about what it's like to live their lives. And, you know, I think ultimately we have to keep checking in with ourselves on how we're feeling after we consume content. And if it's less than…There's your answer to unfollow.

Jen Riday (0914.485)
Mm -hmm, that's well said. It does, you know, I have made the choice personally to make my social media feed into a blissful bubble, I call it, because if I'm going to be on there, I want to feel good. So I removed all the news feeds. I removed anything that left me feeling icky. But at the same time, I do have to be aware of making sure I balance perfect with real. Yes, yes. Right.

Kara Alaimo (0924.078)
That's right. And it's a hard balance for all of us.

Jen Riday (0943.351)
Oh, that's so interesting. So what tips would you have for kind of finding that balance and trying a different approach that is healthier?

Kara Alaimo (0952.846)
So I think it's important to nurture our offline friendships as well. My mom friends are some of the people who've supported me the most because they're people right there in the trenches with me. I think it's important to actively seek out content that empowers you and other women. And so one of the things I call for in my book is for all of us to one, follow more women experts. So one thing that research tells us and that so many women who I interviewed for my book complained about is that when men try to bolster their professional profiles and share their expertise on social media, they often end up with more followers, more reposts, and more resulting opportunities like speaking engagements than the women in their fields. So here's a simple answer. Why don't all of us just follow 10 more women experts today? And to get you started, I actually created a list of feminists to follow on my website, which is They're just the tip of the iceberg. It was just a start. But just a few suggestions of women who share just really amazing content to empower other women. I think it's a really good idea to share information yourself about issues that are important to your life. I think if we all spent more time doing that rather than looking at the latest memes, we probably could change a lot of things. I think it's really important to amplify content that you appreciate. And you know, these are all ways that we can ultimately use social media to empower ourselves.

Jen Riday (1135.063)
Ooh, I love those. That is a list I will be posting in my office in my house. So I'll recap it. Follow more women experts. I would probably add, especially women of color. I'm sure that's even more important. Be real, essentially, was your second point. And then amplify, I'm adding my favorite word, amplify the uplifting. I love that, yeah.

Kara Alaimo (1147.054)
Absolutely. Yeah, share and repost things about what matters to your life. And also, I just add post content that's realistic, right? We don't have to have perfect backgrounds when we snap a picture of our kid. We can show what being a woman and being a mom in our society is really like.

Jen Riday (1218.377)
Mm -hmm, ooh, that's great, that's great. So what about for our teen girls, or even any teen? I'm sure it's a whole different world. They're so much more into memes, I feel like, than my generation.

Kara Alaimo (1230.382)
And that's probably some of the least toxic content often. Okay, so what I'd say is for a teen girl on social media, a place like Instagram can be a place where you develop an eating disorder. In fact, one of the stories I tell in my book is of a woman named Vivian who says she got her eating disorder on Instagram as a teenager and continues to struggle with it as a woman in her 20s. But social networks can also be places where teens find their people. Particularly if you're a minority in your physical community, you find a lifeline online. Or you develop interests that turn into careers, or you get involved in an important cause. And so it can go either way for teens of all genders. And I think the thing is that unfortunately it's on us as parents to help them get it right. One really simple thing you can do is ask your teen to pull out their phone and look at content together. And I think a lot of parents are intimidated because you might not use TikTok yourself or know how it works. Doesn't matter. If your kid's interested in being a veterinarian, watch some content together about what that's like posted by other veterinarians, whatever it is that they're interested in. And the thing is that if you do that, algorithms we know are designed to show people more of the content they think they like. So then when you're not sitting with your kid, your kid actually is going to see more of this kind of content. But when we talk about teen girls, one of the things I'm most worried about is the image -driven apps like Instagram, where I think it's very easy to get a completely false idea about what your body and your life should look like. So one thing we know is the so -called Instagram body doesn't tend to naturally occur on women. It tends to be achieved with surgery. And I think it's so important to talk to girls about why what they're seeing isn't very realistic, why we shouldn't judge anyone, including and in fact, especially ourselves for their appearances. I recently read Kate Mann's new book, Un -Shrinking, which is about our society's fat phobia. And she talks about just taking out Instagram, scrolling through images of bodies with her very young daughter, and looking at them together, and bodies of people of all different races and sizes and levels of ability, and just saying to themselves that they were happy that these people are in the world with them.

Jen Riday (1505.687) Nice, that's so great.

Kara Alaimo (1506.926)
And I thought that was so beautiful and such a beautiful reminder for us as adult women too of how we should look at other people on these apps. But I think this is something we have to teach our daughters. And another big one for teen girls is just to say no when something makes you uncomfortable. I said this to my toddler recently and I said, what would you do if someone asked you to do something and it made you uncomfortable? And she looked at me like I was an absolute idiot and said, Well, obvious, you know, like, no, I'd say no. But the thing is, the question is, when she becomes a teenager, will she still say and do that? Right? We know that when girls go through puberty, their confidence plummets far beyond anything that the average boy experiences. And so they're just great prey for predators online. One big kind of predator I talk about in my book is a sextortionist. So that's a man who will, um, develop an emotional relationship with say a teen girl online, convince her to send one racy image and say to her, now I'm going to post this all over social media and send it to all of your friends unless you Venmo me $25 ,000 now. And I talked to Kerry Goldberg for my book, who's a leading attorney who takes on these kinds of cases. And I think the best piece of advice she gave me is that our kids have to know that when they're in trouble online, they can come to us without fear of repercussions. Because what she sees is that a teen girl might be in this situation, but she's afraid that if she tells her mom, mom will take away her phone. So now things are getting worse and worse, and she's sending more and more content to this sextortionist to try to meet his demands, and things are only getting worse. And so. Ultimately, our kids need to know that no matter what happens online, they can come to us without fear of repercussions.

Jen Riday (1705.495)
Yeah, that's super important, wow. So what about the strategy of just not even being online? A lot of my friends in my circles are saying, I'm not on Facebook, I'm not really on social media. I just hear it more and more and more. And I even gave my kids, only my daughter took me up on it, my oldest daughter, but I gave them the challenge, hey if you can be social media free until you're 16, I'll hand you $1 And they're like, whoa. And so my daughter did it. She turned 16 and now she's on. And she's got a pretty healthy balance. And I like to think I'm modeling that. Do you foresee more of a trend of being less on social media and being more present in our lives again? What trends are coming? I'm curious.

Kara Alaimo (1737.102)
I love it. Okay, so first when it comes to kids, what I think is we need to band together and talk to the parents of our kids' friends and collectively agree that we're not gonna let them get phones until they're older. I think 16 is a really great number. A New York Times reporter recently tried to pin me down on when my daughters will get phones and I said 16 and she threatened to follow up with me to see if I'm able to do it. So that's very impressive, Jen. That's a great strategy. But.

Jen Riday (1819.927)
Wow. Well, I have to be real. She had a phone. She just wasn't allowed to be on social media and I had it blocked. Locked down. Yeah.

Kara Alaimo (1825.55)
Very impressive. I'd say for us as adults, I totally understand that sentiment. I'm on Instagram now all the time promoting my book, and I find it to be so exhausting. But one thing I'd say is we need to be careful because the most common response that women get when they're the victims of abuse or hate online is like, just stop using these apps. And I completely reject that because I think that social media is a place where we can empower ourselves, right? It's a place where you can find connections that lead to careers or develop careers or get involved in important causes. And so I reject the idea that women should have to stop using these apps just because they've become so toxic. I think what we need to do is fix what's wrong with these apps and use them to empower ourselves. But no judgment on a woman who's like, I'm not using Instagram because I totally understand that.

Jen Riday (1930.519)
I like that because it's probably here to stay and why not become a part of the solution instead of just letting it become a more and more toxic soup. I like that idea. Yeah, wow. Awesome. Well, what else? What else is in your book? So many points you brought up before we started recording and now I don't know where to take it. Where do you want to take it?

Kara Alaimo (1940.43)
Exactly. Okay, shall we talk about dating? So, for women who are single, it's very common to turn to dating apps. And I think that the deck is often stacked against women on these apps. Some of it is because of forces that are happening offline, right? So a lot of women become serious about trying to find a life partner in their mid -30s, right? If they want to have children.

Jen Riday (1954.839)
Yeah. Okay. My daughter's about ready for that phase. So yeah.

Kara Alaimo (2021.984)
Men don't face those same pressures to have children while they're biologically able. Men, there's also just like more single women than there are single men as you get older. So that's another huge disadvantage. But I also think that men just sort of don't face the same threats to their lives that women do when they use these apps. And, you know the United States does not keep statistics on how many violent crimes are tied to dating apps, which is a huge mistake. And so we don't know. But for instance, back in 2019, Columbia Journalism Investigations conducted what they said was an unscientific study of women who had used these apps. And something like 31 % of them said they'd been sexually assaulted by someone they met on an app. And if that number is anywhere close to accurate, I do not want my daughters to ever use these apps, right? Online dating is potentially far more dangerous than we realize. Now there's catfishers, right? So again, people who, you know, make up personas and pretend to be someone else and establish emotional relationships with women, then try to get them to send money or whatever it is they want. And this is, you know, this is being done by criminal syndicates. This isn't just, um…often isn't just like some guy in his home. It's often like men who are being held basically as slaves in places like Cambodia and forced to catfish women. So I think dating apps are really dangerous. I also think that dating culture has devolved thanks to them. So research shows that when people have this perception of having tons of choices, really with anything in life we know, Um, but certainly romantically, when people feel like, um, they have options of other partners, they become much less committed to the partners they have are much more likely to break up with them. Um, and, you know, I interviewed so many women for my book who said that. Like the men they met sort of weren't interested in pursuing relationships, treated them terribly. And I think it's because of this fallacy of there always being someone new to swipe on on a dating app. Um, And a lot of the women who I interviewed for my book told me they stopped using dating apps because they were sick of being treated like a word I'm not sure you want me to say on your podcast. Well, Jen, they're sick of being treated like shit by the men they match with. And I have to say, because I say in my book, I can hear my male critics from the future screaming at me, I'm sure women sometimes treat men terribly too. But again, I do think that there is a power differential because often that threat of physical violence is present when a stranger starts behaving erratically towards a woman. You know, but I'd say what if you're a woman and you know a very large number of women say they're like not even a large number of single women tell Pew Research Center they're not even looking to date anymore or to pursue a relationship and of course Power to you if you want to be single. That's a great lifestyle as well But I'd say for people who are using dating apps to try to find a relationship Please don't take things personally and like But if people don't seem serious, take that as a referendum on them and not on you, and just delete them and move on. And the other thing to know is that dating apps often claim that they're going to match you with your soul mate if you just answer these questions, which they then, of course, share with shady third party companies. But in any event, decades of research tells us that's not possible. You don't know. You can't predict whether two people are going to be compatible based on their characteristics. And so I just say, if you're using these apps, take it on yourself to filter carefully through people and try to find people who seem serious. And then if they're not, just move on.

Jen Riday (2455.831)
Yeah, wow. My daughter was just filling out information for student housing and she had to have a profile and we want to attract the right roommate for her. So I just had this conversation last night. I said, you're looking for your 10%. You want to repel the 90 % that won't be right for you. So, you know, she had to put like, I like this and I like that. And I said, or she said, is that too weird? I'm like, no, don't you want to find another fellow weirdo? That's great. Put it out there.

Kara Alaimo (2526.734)
I totally agree one of the best pieces of advice I got from a college friend of mine who had worked for one of the world's most elite consulting firms and decided she was going to put all her savvy to use on dating apps to find a partner, which she did. She got married last year. And she said, don't be afraid to say who you are and what you're looking for and she decided to, she just put it out there on a dating app, she's looking for a relationship and if you're not, please don't contact her. And the second she did that and decided to own who she was and what she was looking for, she ended up going on a series of seven dates. Not all of them were guys she was interested in, but the point was that the dates themselves gave her hope that there were good men out there and then she…Number

seven was Ryan, and she married him.

Jen Riday (2623.511)
That's awesome. Do you happen to know what percentage of marriages today are happening through a first online contact or a social media contact?

Kara Alaimo (2635.598)
So I don't know the percentage, my sense, I was chatting with a New York Times reporter about this and she was saying, well, like, just look at the wedding announcements in the Times and how many of them say, well, we met online. So I'm sure that if you look at people who are getting married, my sense is that a very large percent of them are meeting online, but that's obscuring something hugely important, which is that the marriage rate hit the lowest number since the federal government began keeping records on it in 1865 and in 2020 and 2021. So fewer Americans are getting married than really ever before. And this trend was well underway before the pandemic. And my theory on this, I just wrote a piece on this for Valentine's Day, sadly, for CNN opinion, is because of dating apps. Like I said, dating apps claim to be able to match you with their soulmate, and that's really not possible. Plus, even if it was, they wouldn't have an incentive to match you with your soulmate because then they'd stand to lose two users, right? Yeah, but you know, but also just the fact that, you know, our dating culture, I think has devolved thanks to these apps. People think they have all of these choices and so they don't value their partners, either ones that they're in relationships with or ones that they're swiping on very highly anymore. And so, yeah.

Jen Riday (2742.263)
Oh my gosh, I never thought of that. Oh my goodness. Wow, I have to add my, what some would call a prudish comment, but it's still true. And the fact that there's no social, I guess, shaming, there's a better word, but of the one night stand and the quick hookups, like men, the men I know are more into that than the women I know. There's my stereotype, but it's still true in my experience from the people I've talked to. Why wouldn't you go for the one night stand if there's no social consequence? Like, sad. I don't know how we fixed that.

Kara Alaimo (2837.006)
And also, so like overall, like I think that like sexual encounters and hookups are not increasing right now, but I was just chatting with my editor about this and you know, she's telling me about her friends who are like getting divorced or out of relationships and kind of like newly single in their 30s. And these apps that are basically kind of designed for hookups where there's this sense that anything goes and that is basically an invitation to exploit women, right? And so, so dangerous.

Jen Riday (2915.007)
So you just stay off of those apps and find the ones that are more geared towards friendships and relationships, yeah. Yeah, I do remember a stat though, that makes sense. You said hookups are lower than they've been because people are getting a lot of their dopamine needs met just through being on social media. Why should they have a real in -person relationship, right? and own who you are and say what you're looking for?

Kara Alaimo (2935.246)
Oh my God, that's so true. And it's not just our romantic relationships. So one psychologist, Marisa Franco says that America is living in a friendship famine. So we have fewer, fewer good friendships than in the past. And this is a trend that started with the advent of television when people stayed home and watched sitcoms rather than going out bowling with their friends. But it's really skyrocketed around the time that people got phones. And it makes sense, right? So there's like this sense that you have all these friends if you have, if you're connected to all these people online, but they're often not the people you sit down with for a drink at the end of a really, really bad day.

Jen Riday (3021.751)
Yeah, for sure. I mentioned before we began recording, I just got back from the retreat that I host every year. Oh, my goodness. It is so, I met all of them online, but then we come together in this in-person setting, and it's phenomenal. There's so much more dopamine in the in-person stuff. Do you feel like there's a trend where people are waking up to that fact and slowly maybe spending less time on the phones and more in -person stuff? I personally, feel a trend in my circles, but I don't know if it carries to the whole population or not.

Kara Alaimo (3056.75)
I think post-pandemic there's an appetite for it, but like, let's be realistic about what our lives are like as women. Like, I am hearing you describe this retreat and I literally do not know how would be humanly possible for me to go on it. Like, what would I do with my children? And we know that women do the majority of the caregiving and the majority of the housework in our homes. And so I think it's particularly hard for us to say, like, ciao, going, out to dinner or going off on a retreat or off on a girls trip. But the point is that we don't need a gazillion relationships, but we need a few close ones. And so…you know, during more challenging times, like my kids are super young now, I recognize that I'm probably not gonna get to, you know, go to Idaho to visit one of my friends who moved there. But, you know, even if it is on a phone, like having an actual phone conversation, or, you know, rather than like posting things to rack up likes, you know, direct messaging a friend and checking in on how she's really doing, I think is really important. So I think it's just, it's on us as women to recognize how badly we need this, but also to be kind to ourselves because often, you know, I have a yoga teacher who will, you know, text things, you know, if I'm not coming to class one week or, you know, post things or say things in class, like, well, you know, just explain to people that you need this time for yourself. And it's like, you know, my husband works in an emergency room. If I explained to him that like I need him available Sunday mornings, like he'd be unemployed, right? And I probably wouldn't be able to afford yoga. So I just, I think it's not as easy, as people sometimes suggest for us to find these spaces for ourselves.

Jen Riday (3250.103)
Okay, okay, huh, I'll have to think that through. But still, if you can do it, make it happen. I have to put that out there. It's possible, it's possible. Your mom could come to town, Kara, and watch your kids, right? Make it happen. Yes, make it happen.

Kara Alaimo (3256.302)
Oh my goodness. I don't know if anyone can handle my kids on their own for a week, but yes, in the future I hope to make it happen for myself. But in the meantime, I'm being kind to myself and taking the smaller moments where I can find them. Yeah. Yes.

Jen Riday (3311.607)
Yeah. Your friend in Idaho needs you to come and you need her. Absolutely, phone calls are awesome. I do them all the time. It is so fun. It reminds me of my mom. She was always on the phone when I was little and my family comes in, oh, are you on the phone? Like that's so foreign to my teenagers that I would be talking on the phone for over an hour, but I love it. So yeah, it is. It is. Yeah. Wow. Well, you are doing important work in the world and I just want to

validate that.

Kara Alaimo (3336.718)
Oh, it's so beautiful to nurture those female friendships and we need them.

Jen Riday (3347.351)
Whether you can go to a retreat or not, thank you for doing the work you're doing. Reward yourself sometime. I love this. Any last final words of advice you want to share with us?

Kara Alaimo (3353.046)
Thank you. Just think strategically about how you use social media. Don't beat yourself up over things like bad experiences on dating apps or content you see that doesn't look like your life, I think it's important for us to see these apps for what they are and decide to use them in ways that empower ourselves and just to reject all the toxic content and all the toxic messages and all the trolls and all of the other really ugly things we find on these apps.

Jen Riday (3430.263)
Delete and block and move on. What is it? Block and bless, block and bless. I've heard that before. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, Kara.

Kara Alaimo (3433.422)
Okay. My pleasure, and I'll also be on a big national book tour with lots of both virtual and in -person events. So I'd love to continue this conversation with your listeners.

Jen Riday (3444.181)
Ooh! So they can get the 10 experts list on your website at

Kara Alaimo (3457.934)
At I have a list of a few dozen feminists to follow. And I also have a guide on how to handle your kids' use of social media. And you can find me on Instagram, a Facebook author page, and X.

Jen Riday (3508.993)
Okay. Yay. And we love it because we can have a positive feed. We don't have to give it up. Well, yeah, everyone grab Kara's book, Over the Influence Why Social Media is Toxic for Women and Girls. And thank you again, Kara, for being on the show.

Kara Alaimo (3520.43)
That's right, exactly. Thank you so much, Jen.