36 Transcript: You are already loved: Claiming Your Seat at the Table (with Andrea Wenburg)

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J: You're listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, episode number 36.

A: And when I realized that nothing could destroy me, you know, that I wasn't a victim, then I realized that I had so much to offer.

Intro: Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, stories of vibrant women living happy lives. And now, your host, Jen Riday.

J: Hi there, welcome to Vibrant Happy Women. I'm Dr. Jen Riday, a woman's happiness expert, and I have a fun time each week talking with lots of vibrant and happy women. Last week, I talked to Judy Tsuei and she shared her story of healing from emotional pain and finding her own path of happiness in life. Today, I'll be talking with Andrea Wenburg about her journey of realizing she is already loved and that she already has a seat at the table. This is an empowering episode, especially for women who have always found their sense of self-worth from outside of themselves rather than from within. Andrea’s journey is really inspiring and you're going to love this episode, it's one of my favorites. Let's go ahead and jump in.

Hello there, welcome to Vibrant Happy Women. I'm Jen Riday, your host, and today, we'll be talking with Andrea Wenburg who's the author, speaker, and personal brand strategist who shares a message encouraging others toward a love filled authentic self-expression in relationships and thought leadership. Her book, ‘Unfrozen: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You’, tells the story of her struggle to find effective expression of her own deep thoughts and intense feelings. Making their home in Nebraska, Andrea is totally in love with her husband and her 2 creative kids. Welcome to the show, Andrea.

A: Thank you, Jen, thanks for having me.

J: Yes, and share your favorite quote with us to get us started.

A: Okay, my favorite quote comes from Dr. Larry Crabb, who is a best-selling author and a mentor of mine, and the quote is, “Healing isn't the absence of pain, it is when you choose to love despite the pain.”

J: Oh, nice, I love that. Read that one more time.

A: “Healing isn't the absence of pain, it is when you choose to love despite the pain/”

J: So do you have a story to tell around that quote? I suspect you do because…


A: I do. In fact, it might come out even more as the interview goes on, but really for the… for a long time, I assumed that my goal in life was to be pain free and then if I just lived by a certain set of rules or in my perspective or when I was growing up, especially it was God's way, if I did it God's way, then I would be blessed and things would just really turn out well.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: But as I went through life, I just kind of experienced that that's not necessarily the case and that sometimes it's painful to love. So, you know?

J: That reminds me, I just had a conversation with a friend just 2 days ago in fact, and she was sharing her ideas that she felt like, in the past 50 or 100 years, we've kind of shifted as a society even around the entire world into a mindset of victim thinking.

A: Mm.

J: She was thinking, you know, just a century ago, people knew life was hard and they just got through it and that was part of it. And now, we think, “Why me? Why did this happen to me?” and we act so shocked that we should ever suffer or struggle, so what are your thoughts, you know, having gone through that? Maybe you can take us all the way back to your low point and how you came to the realization that pain is okay.

A: Sure. You know, if you don't mind, I'd like to set up my low point a little bit…

J: Oh yeah.

A: … to explain why it was so low. When I was growing up, I think I can… I look back on this now and I realized that this is the case. I don't… I wouldn't have been able to identify this back then, but I think I'd always wanted to… have you heard of the metaphor of ‘having a seat at the table’?

J: Yes.

A: ‘Wanting a seat at the table’. Well, the way that I look at a seat at the table is twofold. First of all, I like the idea of having a seat means, you know, like if you were to come into the room and there was this nice big table with all these people sitting here and 1 chair left and it had your name on it and you just know that you belong.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: That you belong sitting at that table with those people, and it's just… there's something really special about knowing that you belong and then you're accepted.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: So that's the first part of it. But I also… I didn't just want to belong and feel accepted, I wanted to be a part of the dialogue at this table. I wanted to have my voice really matter and make a difference, not to have everybody do what I say per se, but… but to really feel like I was a part of the dialogue.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: And so I assumed… and at some point when I was little, I kind of just think subconsciously just started to assume that somehow boys and men had a special kind of permission that they gave to have this seat.

J: Wow.

A: Like, I looked to them as being the answer to how I could feel like I had a seat at the table.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: And so I ended up looking for this approval kind of through dating and… and I went through a lot of transformation and my young adult years. But then, when I got married, my self-esteem, I noticed that my self-esteem was going up and down and up and down based on what my husband and what my perspective was of his… his opinion of me. So if I thought that he was respecting me, so if his respect for me was going up, I felt better; if I thought that he didn't respect me, then I felt worse.

J: Wow.

A: Because I really thought that it… I would feel like I had a place, a seat at this table, if I was both connected to him and if he respected me.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: But it all kind of came to a head when we had our second child and I was in labor. And in labor, I had a really hard time with a labor and delivery. We decided that we would try to have the baby naturally, but it didn't end up… and then… and then I started to realize it was really kind of hard and I wanted medication, but I couldn't get it and all this ended up making me feel like the pain was so hard that I… I just… I just couldn't cope; I didn't know how to cope with that situation. And the way that I acted in labor embarrassed me and I assumed that it my husband as well.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: So it was so painful and everything that it really sort of ended up being a real traumatic experience for me. And I left that experience just feeling totally broken like I would never get his respect again, that these… this thing that I wanted, this respect and to feel like I belong, that I was never going to have it…

J: Mm.

A: … because of this particular experience and it just really broke… broke me down.

J: So you're… you're completely shattered. You've had this baby, a massive life transition, and on top of it, you feel like your husband doesn't respect you; and because you linked that to your own self-respect, you have nothing really.

A: Yeah.

J: So how did you claw your way out of that low point?

A: Yeah. Well, I… for a long time, I went into hiding. I sort of… I don't know I had this internal posture that was… that looked very much like a fetal position. I just wanted to protect myself.

J: Mm.

A: I was… I felt like nobody had helped me in labor, I didn't get the medication I wanted, I didn't get the help that I wanted or the support that I wanted when I went through that experience; that was my perception of that time. And so I just felt like I needed to protect myself and that I just… I needed to survive so that I could take care of my kids, but I was convinced that my husband wasn't happy with me or that I would… if I looked in his eyes, I would feel shame.

J: Ah.

A: And I didn't want to see disappointment in his eyes so I just didn't even look at him in the eyes for months.

J: Wow.

A: Yeah. So for quite a while, I was really stuck in that internal posture of this fetal position, just like, “Leave me alone, I'll just take care of myself and I'll take care of my kids,” but I can't even imagine opening myself up to my husband or anybody else really.”

J: Well, I'm curious, now that you're looking back at this situation from the future, did he really feel disrespect or shame towards you or were you perceiving that on your own?

A: That's a really good question. And even though we've talked about it some… I'm not sure that I totally know for sure. But I do know that, as we've… like, we are in an amazing place now and that, because of the change that happened in me, we got to this place. So as I transformed, as my heart transformed, I started to open myself back up, that's when we really started to reconnect and stuff. So I think he might have felt a little embarrassed to some degree, but definitely not to the degree that I assumed.

J: Okay, okay Well, I'm dying to hear about this, tell us about your transformation, because I think all women want that transformation; shifting from giving our self-worth from outside of ourselves to, I assume what you're going to tell us is, getting yourself worth from within.

A: Well, I knew that at about 18 months, I knew that I needed help, but I really I didn't have time; you know, I had 2 little kids at home and my husband was busy and all that sort of thing. And… and I… I really hadn't dealt with this trauma that I'd… that had taken place, so I knew that I needed to do something. And because I had been reading Dr. Larrry Crabb’s books for a number of years and I really looked up to him, when I saw that he had a school of spiritual direction that lasted for a week, I decided that I was going to apply and… and attend because I knew that it would… it would give me time away from my family so that I can get me out of that situation so that I could actually take a real good look at everything and a good look at my heart. And I also trusted him so I trusted the experience and I felt like I could put myself in that position and maybe open my heart up a little bit to really look at it more clearly. And so, throughout the course of the week, I came to this place where I got really… I don't know, I think I… I heard him say something and it really triggered this idea that I had been giving my husband, putting him in a position where he was in control of how I felt about myself.

J: Ooh.

A: And when I realized that, I realized how much pressure that was putting on him. Like, if… when I gave him that kind of power, then all of a sudden, he was under all kinds of pressure to make me happy.

J: Mm-hmm, yes.

A: And because of that, I realized that I had been hurting him. It wasn't just me being the victim, but I had been putting this pressure on him and hurting him throughout this process. And that made me feel really, I guess, repentant. Like, I… I felt bad about it and I didn't want it to stay that way. And I actually, at that point, also realized that this was about my relationship with God too. So, for me, I was also looking at that from a spiritual perspective. And so in that process, I ended up getting really mad at God and then kind of coming to beat on his chest and tell him that he should have been there for me just… you know, he should have been there for me and that he'd abandoned me and all that sort of thing. And then when I realized, I sort of let kind of looked at that full head-on, instead of… you know, like I said, I wasn't looking him in the eye, I wasn't looking my husband in the eye all those months.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: Just sort of like I wasn't, I don't know, essentially looking God in the eye either. I wouldn't…

J: Mm.

A: I didn't want to feel like I had screwed up; I didn't want to feel like he was embarrassed of me.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: And so when I finally did and I said, “This is how I really feel about this. This is what I really fear,”…

J: Yeah.

A: .. then I was able to kind of think about what I really believed and realized that actually, that wasn't the case at all. Like, he already loves me and I'm already loved, I do not have to try extra hard, I didn't fail somebody, and that that is just a sustaining kind of love that I don't have to ever worry about going away. And when I realized that, then I was able to do this like 180 in my heart with my husband and realized that… that, no matter, really that I wasn't a victim; like you were talking about.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: Like I am not a victim of what other people think of me.

J: Yes, I love it.

A: I am not. And I can love them, even if it hurts me, even if they hurt me. So, yeah, I guess that's when I got to that point because I realized that I could rest in what I see as the unfailing love of God.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: I could rest in that instead of even my own self-love or whatever. Because even my own self-love seems to go up and down, but it… for me, that fixed point it is God's love. That's how I saw it and that's how I've been able to rest in that ever since then so I'm not… my self-esteem isn't going up and down and up and down based on how other people perceive me, and I'm not chasing after their respect. I'm not chasing after those 2 things that I wanted, that seat at the table, I'm not chasing after acceptance and I'm not chasing after that chance to say… you know, to have an impact because I know I have them both.

J: Yeah, like you said, “I'm already loved. I don't have to try extra hard.” Well, Andrea this is so cool because, ever since I met you… I met Andrea… I'll tell our listeners, I met Andrea at a conference just a few weeks ago and I was so surprised by her story because it seems, to me, are mine which is that I hit a low point and I had done the exact same thing, expecting my spouse to help me feel good about myself and to help me feel happy. And exactly the same thing, I prayed and realized one day, yes, that God loves me perfectly and I didn't have to search elsewhere.

A: Hmm.

J: And I kind of feel like the 2 of us meeting and… and also having the same ideas is part of a bigger movement that God or the higher power others might believe in has for the women of this entire planet, that we… you know, with Donald Trump running for president right now and a lot of women coming into their own power and realizing they don't have to be victims of this thinking that men are in control and we're rising into our strength. But I think it begins with what you said, knowing that there's a higher power or God who loves us deeply. And when you have that, you can totally be strong and, like you said, love others, even if they might hurt you, and not care what other people think of you. So I just think it's really cool that we're having this discussion today, so thanks for sharing that story.

A: Oh yeah.

J: Well, so Andrea, going forward, you came to terms with the fact that you are already loved, and how did that affect your relationship and your life going forward?

A: Well, when I got home, I mean… I mean, I did that 180 right in that moment, it was really truly instantaneous; my heart just totally opened up and I realized that I actually had love to give to my husband and that I didn't have to protect myself anymore. And when I realized that nothing could destroy me, nothing could… you know, that I wasn't a victim, then I realized that I had so much to offer. And I made a phone call to him and I told him I just couldn't wait to see him. In fact, I wrote in my book that it was like… it was like we were the wrong sides of the magnet, you know, what kind of repelling one another, and when I did that 180, it was like this just… you know, just wanting to get back to him as soon as I could.

J: Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm.

A: And when I did, then I could… I just told him how much I loved him and I apologized for, you know, having done… you know, put that pressure on him. And he’s… he's a man of few words, but I knew… he said, “I don't know what to say,” and I said, “You don't have to say anything because I… I don't need you to say anything.” And really, we just… at that point, we started to learn how to interact with one another without being defensive and without worrying all the time about what each other was… you know, what the other person was thinking. And, gosh, we're at… like, we've… you know, it's sort of like you start out and you kind of… you're starting to kind of figure it out you get a little offended then you remember, “Oh, wait a second, I don't… I don't need to worry about that.” And then as we got going and we started practicing that and working those muscles, then we got to this… and we're kind of to this point right now where, gosh, we're joking around with each other all the time instead of worried about what… what the other person thinks.

J: Ah, that's so liberating, and it all started with knowing you're loved.

A: Yeah.

J: Love this story. Well, Andrea, how are you living a vibrant and happy life today? Tell us more about what you're doing in your business and with your book.

A: Sure. Well, I loved… I loved this story. I loved my story, I was excited about it, I was excited about that huge transformation that took place in me, and I really wanted to share that with others, but I didn't know how. And when I took my kids to the movie, ‘Frozen’, in November of 2013, almost 3 years ago, I went and I saw as I watched the movie, I just cried through the entire film. Because I… it was like I was seeing my life like flash before my eyes in this beautiful metaphor on the screen because I related so intimately with Elsa. So when that happened, I… at the very end of the movie, Elsa… I don't know if you've seen the movie, but at the very end, she… she has been holding kind of in the struggle throughout the whole movie about whether or not she should let her gifts go and… and offer them to other people or if she should hold them back. And at the very end, she lets them go and then just creates this little ice rink for her people in the kingdom.


J: Mm-hmm.


A: And… and when she did that I had this… this whisper to my heart say, “Andrea, this is the only scene you have yet to play out it's time.”


J: Ooh!


A: And I just lost it. like I lost it at that moment, that happy moment at the very last moment of the… the movie more than I did throughout the rest of it because it was like a gift; the whole movie was like a gift to me saying, “You know what?”.. it was almost again like God saying, “. Andrea, I see you, I know you, and you there's a purpose for everything that you've gone through.”


J: Would you say, well, part of your purpose is to help other women find their purpose?


A: Absolutely. so now, I… I wrote the book and released it here a couple of months ago and it's really my story, but now, it was really scary; it was really scary to take that leap and share those intimate details. But I learned that, when I'm taking risks it's like loving other people, despite the fact that I'm afraid of what they might think.


J: (Gasps) Ooh, I love that; taking risk… risks is like loving other people. it's true.


A: Yes.


J: Ooh.


A: Yes, so I thought about all those hurting women out there and I was… you know, I was trembling when I first started blogging because I was sharing really intimate things and difficult things. And I was really worried about what people would think and all that, but… but I kept going because I knew that were people that needed to hear it. And it was… it was sort of like imagining the audience and deciding that I was going to love them more than I was going to fear them.


J: Ooh, yeah (Laughs); this is the best. I love this story.


A: (Laughs)


J: So… so you wrote your book and…


A: Yes.


J: …you released it, and what have you heard from people who've read it?


A: Oh gosh. Well, I tell you one of the biggest compliments has been, “You know, I sat down to read your book and I read through the entire thing; like, I couldn't put it down.” And when I heard that, gosh, that's such a blessing to hear for an author. That means that you could really connect it with somebody and that, yeah, that there was… that there's something meaningful there. And when people send me messages and tell me that, “This sparked a healing process in me,” or, “This really made me think about my relationship with my husband and how I treat him.” Those sorts of things just really… really touched me, it's really encouraging to hear that it is true that this is a message that people need to hear.

J: And tell us again the name of your book?

A: ‘Unfrozen: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You’.

J: So to summarize you'd say it's… it's your story, but also a message that women, with the help of a higher power or God, can be completely whole and know they're loved and then that changes everything.

A: Yes.

J: Hmm, love this. Well, Andrea… so, Andrea, you published this book people loved it and now you're working as a personal brand strategist, tell us more about that.

A: Well, I believe that every single person has a reputation of some kind and we can be intentional with how we go about our lives. And if we are intentional and we have a purpose, we feel like we have a purpose, then we're going to move with more power as we move through and make decisions about what we're going to do with our lives, and that we each have a message too that might be born out of struggle; sort of like mine was. And when we get really in touch with where we've been, how far we've come and where we're moving, then we can take that and turn it into a really powerful force as we're moving forward into our… like, when I'm talking about this, I'm talking about people who are thoughtful or thought leaders, people who really do feel like they have a message. And when you feel like you do, then it really helps fuel all the other things that you decide to do.

J: So what would be the steps for someone who feels like they might have a message to share? What would you recommend?

A: Well, first, I would take a real good look at your life and ask yourself… like kind of make even a timeline of all the transformational experiences that you've gone through, “What are the struggles that you faced and are those something that you have overcome?” If they are then take a real good look at that and ask, “Is there some sort of burden that you have; some sort of desire to help others who are in that same kind of struggle?” and then, you take a look at your strengths your, personality, and your passion, all that sort of thing, you put those 2 things together your identity (I guess is what I would call it) and your core message and then you ask, “Okay, well, where does this… where does… where do I use this in the world? What is my creative contribution that matches my… my core message with my identity and then create something for others to be able to help them with this particular problem?” So a podcast or a class on basket weaving or whatever it may be, but it… you know, a wide range of options of course, the whole world of options, and then from there, I think it's really important to have a strategy; like a strategic kind of guide to help you make decisions in the future that are going to be based on what you feel like this purpose is that you have.

J: So would you say, before finding their purpose, women have an itchy kind of, “There's something I need to be doing,” and then what do they feel after they've figured it out?

A: Well, I'd like to look at it in terms of seasons.

J: Mm.

A: So if you think about where we're at right now, we're at the fall, in fall, and there's… you see the frost and things are sort of, you know, becoming more quiet. And for a long time, I was in that place of starting to become more quiet and then I got to the frozen winter kind of thing. And in that frozen period, there were things going on inside of me that I didn't realize we're taking place. I kind of had an idea that I felt like God was moving inside of my heart and doing some pruning kind of work, but I didn't really… couldn't really identify what it was, and it was hard. The frozen kind of time the, the winter, is kind of a harsh time that can be met with struggle and all that sort of thing. And, but then there's this numb… this idea of becoming unfrozen in the spring where life starts to come back up. And so, in my mind, I'm thinking of the frozen heart being one that might be fearful, might be quiet, might not be able to move very quickly, you know, just sort of stagnant.

J: Paralyzed, yeah. (Laughs)

A: Yeah, then you kind of come… honestly, I think that's probably most moms when they have tiny little kids. (Laughs)

J: Yeah, right.

A: But then you kind of come to this moment where your heart can become unfrozen and filled with love and you start to wake up again. And at that point, then it gets interesting and you start to see that there have been things… some things in your life that have been pruned. So maybe you were headed in one direction at one point, but after this pruning, you're ready to head in another direction because you realize that, “Actually this is what really matters to me.”

J: Mm-hmm.

A: So maybe that unfrozen time, like for me, it was, “Okay it's time to write this book. I just need to get this book out. I need to figure out what's next.” But now I'm at a place where it's like summer time and things are starting to really flourish.

J: Mm-hmm.

A: My gifts and my offerings are starting to come out in more powerful stronger ways. So I think that there comes a time when you take those things that you… you know, you take that focus that you just received in that moment of being unfrozen and then you start to work at it. I've spent a lot of time, and I know you have too, just working on honing your skills…

J: Mm-hmm

A: … and getting better at what you do and taking risks and moving forward and taking step by step by step. So I see that as the flourish time and that's the… this idea of flourishing is certainly what I hope to see people and help people get to.

J: I love that analogy with the seasons and it goes back to what we talked about at the beginning, so many of us think we shouldn't have a winter or we shouldn't have any pruning. But look, after that struggle the beautiful growth, and you said, flourishing, that probably couldn't have happened without that winter.

A: Yes.

J: I love that way of thinking and I hope we as women around the world can shift and realize struggle is good because there's always something beautiful afterwards if we let it come. So I love your story and your analogy; that's beautiful. Well, Andrea where can we find you? Where can our listeners find you online if they want to learn more about your book or about you?

A: Well, my website is andreajoywenburg.com and I'm also on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. So if you're… if you like pictures and the backstage pass kind of thing, then Intagram’s where to find me. If you just want a little bit here and there, that's Twitter. And if you're interested in making sure to hear all of my… see all of my articles and the offerings that I have, then Facebook is also a good spot. But andreajoywenburg.com is my website.

J: And you also do public speaking, right?

A: I do.

J: So what type of groups?

A: Well, in the next 3 weeks, I'm speaking to 3 different types of groups. There… I'm speaking at a church for families, mixed group of people, and then I was speaking at a library and I'm speaking for a women's group; we're going to have women and young girls there to learn more about this idea of unfrozen and flourishing. So I really enjoy working with anybody who is really interested in being inspired to move forward to be activated so that they can love and really offer all the fullness of who they are.

J: Mm, fullness, I love this; so empowering. Well, we've been kind of on heavy topics, but I'm inspired, but let's go a little lighter and talk about some of your favorite things, Andrea. So…

A: Great.

J: What is a favorite habit that contributes to your success?

A: (Laughs). Yeah, I was having a really hard time because I'm so… okay, maybe that's what I should say; I'm not very good with habits.


J: Good, keeping it real.

A: I should just be honest, that’s what… let's just do that.

J: And look, you… you wrote a book and you're speaking and you're amazing.

A: Yeah.

J: So it just goes to show, there are all types of people in the world.


J: What about a favorite easy meal?

A: Alright, my favorite easy meal is one that I pull right out of the freezer and throw in the oven, and that's chicken strips and sweet potato fries.

J: Yum!

A: I love to sweet potato fries because I feel like we're eating really healthy and we bake them, we don't fry them, so we all feel pretty good about it.

J: Nice, yummy perfect and that's how you do it when you want to write a book.

A: Yes.

J: There's no way you can cook a full meal (Laughs). Favorite kitchen gadget.

A: I love this wooden cutting board that my father-in-law made for me. He made one for each of his daughter-in-laws, and… at one Christmas. And now, I just love it. It's beautiful and it's so fun to use because I feel so loved as I'm cutting; I love it.

J: Aww. And a favorite book.

A: Well, obviously there's my book, ‘Unfrozen.”

J: Mm-hmm.

A: But probably, I guess I would point back to Larry Crabb and to the very first book I read, which was ‘Connecting’. ‘Connecting’ by Larry Crabb was a fabulous book. It was the book that kind of helped me to see that I wasn't the only one who's thinking and experiencing life the way that I do; so really appreciate that book.

J: Larry Crabb, ‘Connecting’. What's the best advice you've ever received?

A: Well, when I was dating my husband, before we… well, actually, before we started dating, I was trying to decide whether or not I should like pursue him, and I was recalled some advice I got from a mentor of mine which was to offer what I'm good at. So my husband who's now my husband, the guy that I was looking at dating, he was very quiet and he wasn't one to like make a lot of moves or try to invite me to come do things and that sort of thing to get to know each other better before we started dating, so I thought, “Well, maybe… maybe I don't have to wait for him. Maybe it's okay for me to invite him to come to do things with me.”

J: Mm.

A: So that was good advice.

J: So you had the gift of socializing more easily and you used it?

A: Yeah.

J: And it all worked out. (Laughs)

A: Yes.

J: That's great. So use the gifts you have or use what you're good at and offer it to other people; perfect. Well, everyone you can find the links to this amazing episode and everything Andrea’s been talking about by going to jenriday.com/36. And now, Andrea, let's get your happiness formula; a formula if you had to narrow everything down that makes you happiest, what would you include?

A: I am happiest when I am at rest in God's love internally and so that I can work externally toward that loving self-expression.

J: Nice. So how do you get at rest in God's love internally? Do you have a trick? I’m putting you on the spot. (Laughs)

A: Yeah. Actually… actually I think it has to do with the challenge. The challenge that I have is to name your fears. So to take a real good look… I take a really good look at my fears. One of my friends says to me, “Andrea, what is threatened in you right now?” So when I feeling off or in feeling upset or overwhelmed or whatever, I ask myself now, “What is threatened in me? What am I so afraid of right now?” even when I'm angry I asked that question, “Why… what am I so afraid of?” And when I asked that question, it sort of like pulls out that fear and I take a real good look at it and then I realize that there's something more true. So I ask myself, “Well, what's more true than this fear?”

J: Ooh, yeah.

A: And when I do that, I remember most of the time it's, “Well, God, you are fine. You know, God loves you. You do not have to worry about, you know, what this other person's thinking about you and you can be free to go ahead and move forward in love and just offer yourself.”

J: Oh, “God loves you so you are free and can move forward to share that love and not worry what others think,” ooh, love that. Well, Andrea, thank you so much for being on the show. This is probably one of my favorite episodes ever.

A: Oh, thanks!

J: I am so grateful you were here. And, again, everyone you can find links to everything Andrea talked about at jenriday.com/36. Thank you so much for being on the show, Andrea.

A: Jen, thank you so much for what you're doing for women.

J: And you too; thank you.

Thanks so much for joining Andrea and myself today. I feel like Andrea's message is so important for all of us. I too have a similar journey where I learned to find my sense of self-worth and self-love through connection to a higher power. So many women today either use meditation or prayer or just listening to their inner voice to connect to quote ‘something out there’, whether they call that God or a higher power or the universe, but what it all comes down to is that you are loved, just like Andrea said; you are deeply loved and you don't need to find that sense of self-worth and approval from other people. And when you come to that realization, you enter into your true power; this is what true empowerment looks like. I want to help you out with this process so I've created a self-love checklist. You can download a copy by going to jenriday.com/self-love or you can text the phrase ‘self-love’ to the number 44222. Alright, grab the self-love checklist, get started on building that deep sense of self-worth so you can be fully empowered and not need to rely on approval from other people. You will love when you reach this point and I know you totally can do it. Again, you can download that by going to jenriday.com/self-love or texting the phrase ‘self-love’ to the number 44222. Make it an amazing week. Take care.

Intro: Thanks for listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast at www.jenriday.com.