144 Transcript 144: Living the Magic of Life (with Pashana Kay)

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J: So welcome everyone to Vibrant Happy Women today. I have the most amazing guest for you today, her name is Pashana Kay, and she has a life that could be described as a continual evolution of purpose, service and transforming herself. She had a contractual marriage to a religious patriarchal preacher and 6 children, and then she began a search for spiritual guidance that led her into her own path and purpose; and we're going to hear about her story today. Welcome to the show, Pashana.

P: Thank you so much, lovely to be here.

J: Yeah, I'm so excited. So Pashana and I met through her daughter, Tarzan, and Tarzan said, “Oh, Jen, your show, you've got to interview my mom,” (Laughs) so here we are. Well, let's start out with your favorite quote and then dive into everything you're going to tell us about today; so your favorite quote.

P: Well, my favorite quote I guess would be when I sort of created myself, and it could be, “Only love is real, all the rest is rethinking or relearning or illusion.”

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

P: So with that quote my intention is daily to connect to the divine mind, what is real and what is true and what will give me the strength I need and the guidance I need in life.

J: Mm, that's beautiful. So, contrast that approach to life with how things used to be for you, your lower point in life.

P: Sure. Well, you know, now we tell ourselves that we're living a magic life, we look at our life that way that it's magic. But there was a time when life was difficult; difficult to the core. And I found it hard to be at peace in the way it was because it was too challenging, it wasn't easy and it wasn't joyful and it always seemed to have conflicts. And I believe that also came from perhaps what I called wrong thinking for now. And at that time when I was married to the preacher husband and we had 6 children, because the religion required that we didn't use birth control (some people wonder why I have so many children so quite frankly, that would be the reason) and there were many rules. But I do think that if I had in mind that I've learned to have today and the transformation, I do believe I could have survived that and we all could have survived better, but transformation was necessary and it was grueling at times.

J: Hmm.

P: And so I’d say today, my life is much more beauty and trust and I'm able to flow with life in a way that I wasn't able to in those years because it didn't feel I was living a true self.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, let's paint a picture more of what you were going through. Tell us a bit about how you were raised, how you met your husband who was the preacher, and what life was like with your 6 kids, you know, because many of our listeners are in that phase of life with their kids and 6 though, wow. You know, I'm doing 6 but I don't think I did 6 like… I'm doing 6 like you might have, so… (Laughs)

P: Well, I think you are; I’m pretty sure you are too.

J: (Laughs)

P: I was raised in a large family and it was kind of the view that the your calling in life as a woman would be to marry and have children and run a household. So I didn't know you could have aspirations and goals and dreams of greater things, I truly did not understand that and I thought that I would be fulfilled as a wife and a mother and a housekeeper… a homemaker.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: So to be quite honest, I'm going to be rather blunt, there was no romance at the time of my agreeing to a marriage, it was just a proposition and offer. My husband had been widowed and he needed to have a wife to help him get through life. He was 23 years older than I am and he offered me a position basically to be his wife. And he had a home and that whatever children came from this relationship in that he would accept that. And there really truly was no romance in it, but the interesting thing is that, intuitively and in my soul kind of, I felt that this was my calling. And I literally went into this marriage without, you know, doubt, I truly felt this is my role and this is how I would learn and grow. So 6 children came along in 9 years, the boys came first, 4 boys, and absolutely thrilled for 2 daughters.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And, you know, I was totally devoted to the children and I was okay with giving my life to raising these children. Although it was challenging because of the religion aspect of it, there was just so many rules and emotional disturbances.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

P: So, you know, I tried my best to be a really good mother. Looking back, I don't think I was all that great a mother at all. But what I do think I have done for my children (this is something I think all women should take comfort in) that maybe I wasn't a totally successful mother in day-to-day activities and teachings, but I do believe I have been a very good mother in evolving as a woman and as a human being, evolving spiritually, evolving in my own wisdom, and I attribute it to connection to the divine mind. And these are ways my children have grown and benefited from seeing me go through difficult times when the marriage ended. And it had to end, there was no way it could continue at the time and it was… it was clear that the marriage was over. And even my husband in retrospect was rather relieved that he wasn't with the wife where we weren't in harmony and the children were kind of mischievous and challenging. And he was an older man and so we only made peace with that. And so having gone through that and the children watching my life like, “Okay, now, I have to stand on my own 2 feet.” I don't have an education, I don't have finances, I don't really even have skills because my skills were all running a household. And so I began studying and I studied a lot and I went into the financial planning world. And I was able to create a career for myself through a lot of tears and hard work. And I'm very proud of this, I'm proud of this as an example to my children that I didn't fall apart when the whole family constellation fell apart, we each had to sort of find our way together. And I was probably just a little more than the leader of the team, we all had to find our way because we broke down all the rules and restrictions and the path, we just bulldozed through all that…

J: Yeah.

P: … and sort of had to find our own without a lot of guidance. (Laughs)

J: Well, yeah. So my mind is thinking, you know, we have these TV stereotypes of, you know, the woman in a relationship where her… it's expected that she be the mom and wife and have no goals and dreams. So I'm picturing this and wondering where did your discontent with that role start to play in? Because you said you started out believing that was your role, but where did that discontent start to come for you? Where did it come from?

P: Well, I could say primarily because it just wasn't working.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And, again, I was a seeker and I read a lot. I read a lot of literature to get me out of the traditional fundamental teachings that were negative. And I was able to find teachers in real life and in books and newsletters and sources where I could learn from that, how that all those teachings… I could find my way out of it and into teachings that were believable and made sense to my own heart and soul.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: So I would say I came out of it from reading and studying and searching. And I think I already mentioned that sometimes, I had to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the bathtub because my husband wouldn't allow this literature in the house. And then I would read… of course I would read fiction as well and create dreams and create, you know, some vision of how this should be. And I'm not seeing vision in a physical way, just vision very much in finding peace and happiness and beauty in life.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So would you say you were raised not to necessarily read books and get an education or is that about a stretch?

P: No, that is… that is true, that was not encouraged. Even as young adult, and in my marriage, my husband did not see value in education even for the 6 children. So therefore, there wasn't any planning for the 6 children to be educated and we had to find our way in the education world ourselves.

J: Hmm. And so when did you get interested in all the reading that you were doing? Was there a person who inspired you or did you come across a certain book? I mean, it seems like the reading is what unlocked everything for you.

P: Absolutely, Jen, it truly did. And, well, growing up, I did read a lot of biblical and Bible stuff and thought I would find my answers in this, and in many ways, I have Bible verses popping up in my mind once in a while that guided me in life. But I just had the need to go a little more philosophical and conceptual. And so when it started all clicking, I believe the writers that influenced me most would be Dr. Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle.

J: Hmm.

P: So this is the type of reading I probably read all their books.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And this would have happened in the years of my marriage that books literally came into my hand. One day, I was in a bookstore, and this is when I had not totally departed from the teachings I was raised with and the teachings of my preacher husband, a book just about fell off the shelf and into my hands and it was extremely esoterical and I had to hide it. And it shocked me that there's this whole other world out there, how you can think so differently, and it was so beautiful. It wasn't full of negativity and judgment, it wasn’t fearful, it was beautiful.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

P: So I really believe in the synchronicity of life, I believe that the material comes to you and the right material or the right author or the right person will come when you're ready for it, a little bit like, “The teacher arrives when the student is ready.”

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And I think it happens kind of unexpectedly, but I do believe that happens. And I think the best books have come to me just so synchronistically. But I've listened to comments, and if something was referenced, I would search that out.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

P: So a listening heart may be helped. (Laughs)

J: Right, right. Well, so you mentioned always being a seeker since you were age 5, and when you said that, that really resonated for me; I was always the same way. I remember lying in my bed and not being raised particularly religious, but just having these communications with God and these thoughts, and I felt like I was truly communicating with God which is what I called it at the time, and probably still do I guess for ease. But so you always had that, would you say your siblings had that same kind of seeking or was that unique to you?

P: I believe one or 2 had it. I come from a family of 7.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And I believe it's kind of in the bloodline. I have an uncle and grandfather that were preachers, so I believe probably, you know, this is in a bloodline, and if you can call it blood; it's in the DNA maybe that this is what we need to learn in life.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So back then in your early days of life in marriage, you probably called it God, and then as it transformed, what do you call it now, the thing you're seeking, the knowledge you learn and gain and communications you have?

P: Yeah, of course. The word God still is a beautiful expression for me, but because God is so patriarchal and comes across with some judgments and threats and fears, and these are big concepts that I had to work my way through, the go-to-hell teaching. And I had to work my way through that because it was so deep and ingrained in my upbringing.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: So now, I like to call it a divine mind. So to me, it's the divine mind or source or even the force that created us.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: So it's an energy and it's huge, it's absolutely everything that we are. And we are a piece of that like the ocean, we are the drop of ocean and the ocean being the god source, and our essence is the same as this source that we sometimes call God.

J: So do you feel like…

P: I think that's very comforting.

J: Yeah, yeah, it is. And so you said it's a force, tell us more, you know, what does that mean to you to connect to that force or that energy? How has it benefited your life today in different ways than it might have in the past?

P: Sure. Well, it's my whole life really because it's the one thing that makes absolute sense to me. I think a lot of us are familiar with the saying that, “We are not physical beings occasionally having a spiritual experience, but we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.” So I think that we are much closer to who we truly are and what our essence is and how to obtain fulfillment and happiness in life. And if we connect to our own divine source, who we are, the same as the greater source, and then I think from that position, all of life starts to make sense and that we don't focus so much on the circumstances of our life, because in a lot of ways, the circumstances of life are challenging and sometimes unhappy and sometimes they can create fear in us for where our future goal. And I think the problem is not the circumstances around us and the disharmony is around us, but that we believe in them. So I think if we can focus… and this is a learning process and it's like a muscle that has to be built because we do have a conditioned mind and it's a collective mind and it has to do with the physical realm and it has to do with DNA and generations and past generations, and it hasn't taught us the right things that we need to know. So I think that my goal in life has largely been to not trust that mind, sometimes called a monkey mind or a chattering mind, but to trust our essence, who we truly are. And how that translates would be that, every day, I try to flow with life, whatever is, is, because the important aspect of life to make it fulfilling and make it beautiful and wonderful is to connect with that which is within us, that which is who we are, and that would be the god source. And then somehow, magically the circumstances of our life do become more beautiful and more harmonious. And we often laugh here that we have magic life and we try to live according to that magic, we try to to bring beauty into our life and joy into our life as much as possible. And its present moment thinking, Jen.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And this is what Eckhart Tolle teaches for any listeners that are open to this. And there really is a tremendous point of empowerment when we can take our focus off the physical circumstances of our life and focus on the very moment we’re in. And then the very moment we're in is often far more beautiful than what we're giving recognition to. And so one way to do this could to have gratitude, like look around how beautiful the world is. Be thankful you have a full stomach and you're safe and you do have a home and you do have loving people around you and to just come back to those very moment, in the moment experiences and be grateful for them. And that's one way to get your mind off things that happen in the past or things that may happen in the future which they're not even real…

J: Mm-hmm.

P: … they're just mind, the mind taking you away from what's real.

J: Mm-hmm, perceptions. We create all our suffering by the way perceive it, right?

P: Exactly, yes, yes.

J: Well, so you mentioned the word ‘empowerment’ and I feel strongly in all the circles that I interact in, including the somewhat patriarchal church that I belong to where I try to, you know, affect my own bit of change, but also just in the circles here on my podcast where there's something happening, I get the sense talking to women everywhere that we are feeling empowered, we are rising up. So describe what you think is happening and maybe what each of our listeners can do to add more of that empowerment to their own lives; the same journey you've been making.

P: Yes. Well, I think we're given a gift because at the time we're living in, I think it's our time and a lot of things are being exposed. And I think we're coming actually to realize that the level of suppression that we have experienced on a day to day basis that seem kind of natural, but now we realize that, no, we actually do have a voice. And actually the world has gone askew because men have been guiding us through their own sort of ego mind. So when we can see that we give something to offer that men don't necessarily even have to offer unless they're really in touch with their female nature, that we have… we have an ability to help the world in a way that the world desperately needs right now, and that is to teach these spiritual concepts and to wade through suppressions and be true to ourselves, be true to our own self-care. And I really think that through our own self-care and it's growing, this is the ultimate way of helping our children and our community and our families is by really being true to yourself and then finding that power that's in you. And, you know, it comes from loving yourself. Perhaps we have not loved ourselves very much because we have thought we are here to serve everybody else but ourselves. And being a mother it often makes you wonder, “You know, why do I deserve to take time for myself? Because I've got… I'm supposed to be looking after all these children.” But it's really the other way around, you empower yourself and then you empower your children.

J: Ooh, that's brilliant. You empower yourself through self-care and then you empower your children, would you say? Is that the first step?

P: Absolutely. My children are adults now and I really would say that the way they react to me now is really thanking me, not for what I've done to them as a mother and how I raised them so much, but for who I am. And that's how they learn and that's how they find their power actually as well by seeing my power and showing them the way. It's kind of like somebody has to show the way here. So I think women are really empowering themselves and are needed to show the way and this is through growth; it's through growth and transformation. And it's hard work. I sometimes see it as we have to be Olympians to make this happen, and it's possible and it's beautiful.

J: I love it, I agree. And so you said we empower ourselves then we empower our children. So you began with the self-care and then the educating yourself, was there a piece of intuition and, you know, your own little bit of guidance that helped you on that path? Because I know so many people say, “Ugh, I don't know which way to go, I don't know what's true, I don't know what's right,” and so they believe in these structures that may or may not be right for them. So what advice do you have for someone who doesn't exactly know how to tap into that intuitive ‘this is right for me’ type of voice?

P: Well, I think you could look at you're… kind of what turns you on, what makes you happy and go from there. Is there some passion that maybe you could pinpoint? Like what activity like, “Okay, this is it, this is what I love,” and maybe that could guide you in a direction life? I came into financial services and became a financial planner because it just kind of showed up in my life. But I realized that I really actually enjoyed it, I enjoyed the studying element. And so I went that direction and this gave me independence in life and it empowered me in my own ability to… to be a wise woman. So I think it starts with what makes you happy and to look at that and take steps towards creating a life that will serve you. And it could be through career, it could be through art, it could be through activities that make you happy. And I think it's very practical as well, but it's also intuitive. And I think it's important that we learn that intuitive sense that we will have and… and maybe haven't paid attention to it.

J: Exactly. Do you meditate or do you pray or something of both?

P: Yes, yeah, that would be definitely one of my happy tools. And I actually have a session and I've been doing this for a while number of years where one day a week, I have a group of people that also like to meditate and they come to my home and just have a little happy time around some tea and snacks and then we… we sit in silence and candlelit in my home and meditate for just under an hour. And it's unbelievable after we come through this meditation, faces are shining and you can literally see with your eyes and feel in the room that we've had an experience of peace. And it doesn't mean that we try to resolve problems, one thing we don't do is talk about… sometimes we do, but rarely talk about circumstances of life, but we come into that presence of peace. And that presence itself seems to create a change in the life around you. So I also meditate before I start the day and in little bits and pieces. I try to meditate whenever I feel an uncomfortable feeling in my mind or within me. I try to use that as sort of a sign and stop and just focus on your inside, not on the outside. And it's very empowering, it's very beautiful, and does create peace.

J: Yeah, I love that. Well, so my mind is thinking about just the journey of history and civilization as a whole, I don't know why I'm going this big, but I want to hear your take on this. But I feel like in the past when women had less choice, they were happy to accept these institutions and structures that told them what they should be doing, and a lot of it was related to survival. What do you think is happening with our planet and with our enlightenment as the human race that is changing that? You know, what do you see that journey looking like for us as a planet?

P: Well, I think it's a great question, Jen, and I think it's a mind subject. I think we could start with the mind on that one that we did have a simple life, and maybe if it was closer to nature, maybe it was better. But what happened was the world in a natural sequence needed to evolve, so therefore we became, especially in Western world… so therefore we used the mind to evolve in science and technology and we evolved exponentially. And but what happened in this evolvement is that the mind became something that was so revered and we gave ourselves up to the mind because we saw what we could do and how we could transform through the mind. So what happened is that because the mind took over so much, the mind actually became almost an entity in itself and it was almost like an entity that needed to be served, and now we see we have an ego mind which will lead us astray. And it tends to be more strong in men than in women, without being judgmental.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: So what the world is looking at, the position we're in now, where we need to go and how we're going to resolve this that the mind is taken over so much that it is caused many anxieties, and on the far right, causes suicide. So we need to correct but the correction is just to evolve further. So the next step in the evolvement, since we're looking at the big picture, is to stop listening to that mind which is related to an ego fear-based mind and has separated and disconnected from the god mind and listen to the heart. And this is what teachers like Gregg Braden teach and other scientific and spiritual teachers are teaching that the actual survival of our planet will depend on us listening to our hearts and letting our hearts, which is connected to the divine mind, guide us and be our teacher.

J: Hmm, I love.

P: And from this point, we won't listen to the untruthful mind.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And if we listen to our heart and we get closer to that and then we will evolve, and that's actually the hope of the planet that we do that.

J: Mm-hmm. Do you believe women are maybe more skilled at listening to their hearts, in general?

P: Yes, I do.

J: I do; I do as well.

P: I really do and I think that’s why we… yeah, I think that's why there's a lot of focus now on women so that we can make this transformation, so that we can help the planet.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: I think it's huge, I think we're very fortunate to live in this time.

J: Beautiful. I was talking with a friend the other day and she was commenting on this idea that, you know, she feels this sense that women are being called to rise up, you know, called by the divine, by God, which is the word she uses, but she's feeling that empowerment, but she's not just feeling it from other voices but from within herself. How are you seeing that in the other women you interact with who maybe don't think or believe as you do but you see it in their lives in any case?

P: I think we're struggling with it because this is transformational. And I'm thankful that I have daughters and Tarzan, who you speak of and who you work with, these women are really getting it. And I have a daughter-in-law as well and we're really teamed up and understood that our family (and I'm speaking of our specific family; my family) we are no long a patriarchal family, and it's truly evident because the father my children has passed away. And not only that, but the women in my family are really strong. And so I'm seeing that that we're moving into a matriarchal society and I'm seeing that we've had to take responsibility on and to be wise and to be strong and to not allow circumstances of our life and the challenges to break us down.

J: Hmm.

P: And, you know, I've been broken many times by the circumstances of life and I guess I found my way through by serving myself and doing what I need to take care of myself and connect to the divine mind. And I keep going back to it that the circumstances of our life and the mind chatter, that's not what's real. What's real is that innate part of you that is the god power. And just to feel it, you know, you can't put into words because if you put it into words, it wouldn't be correct. So it's something that has to be felt. And through doing whatever you need to do to feel it, it could be going into nature, could be meditation, it could be art, could be loving your child, whatever it takes to feel that innate self that is the god mind, that will then guide all the rest of the circumstances of your life.

J: Hmm, yes.

P: So just… and it will allow you then to flow with life and not have resistance because the circumstances are not the real part, the real part is your own true essence.

J: Hmm, beautiful. You know, back to that word ‘empowerment’, it's essentially what you just said is we need to slow down and ignore that monkey mind and that stress and that struggle for a minute and then do what it takes to connect to that God power, the only real thing, and feel it through nature, art, loving a child, meditation. And then that's what gives us our power back because we connect directly and get that guidance that you talked about. And it feels like patriarchy is giving our power away and putting it into the hands of other people, not having that direct one-on-one connection to guidance. What are your thoughts?

P: I couldn't agree with you more, I absolutely agree with you. And I can see that it's threatening for some men who are very strong in their ego patriarchal belief system, but there are men, and my sons and my son in-laws I would say are really revering the women in their lives and they are seeing that we are strong and that they trust us and they support us. And so I see the change coming, and yeah, I think you described it beautifully, Jen.

J: So now, I want to kind of address… I know there are a ton of women listening who this is completely new thinking to them, and they're thinking, “What? I'm in a patriarchal…”


J: “I’m in a patriarchal religion. I've given away my power.” And in fact, I belong to what many would call a patriarchal religion but I feel guided to be where I'm at and I stay where I'm at and I feel good and I find the good and I influence where I can. And so what would you say to those who are now just feeling like, “Whoa, I'm floating in a sea of the unknown where do I… (Laughs) what do I do? How do I know what's true, what's right?”

P: Yeah.

J: “How do I throw away everything I was taught to believe or how do I know what to keep and what to let go of?”

P: Well, I so agree with you that a lot of us are heavily influenced by the patriarchal world we've… we've been raised in. And I am in financial services and there's like 1 woman for 10 men, so I get that and I live that as well. But what I would say is, in the midst of all that, it doesn't really matter; it really doesn't matter that much. Just come back to your own peace and flow with life. Don't have resistance, just flow with life and do what makes you happy and stop and listen to that still small voice inside you that is total magic. Create beauty in your life, like do it for yourself and just believe that there is something there that will change everything and it's to accept life, to believe that the universe is a supportive universe. This is an Einstein quote that, “Do you believe the universe is the supportive universe or that it is not? And whatever you believe, that will be your… your experience.”

J: Hmm.

P: So try to build faith in that thing that you don't really know, you don't understand, try to build faith in that that the universe is here to support you. And even when it's hard to see around you, but it is there. So with that level of belief, you can flow with life a little more and then seek your own answers, because this is a type of work that you have to do yourself, nobody can do it for you. And you can have the best friend and the wisest a friend, but it still is work that you have to do yourself. Again, I say it's like a muscle you have to build.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, to receive that guidance for yourself.

P: Exactly, exactly.

J: Beautiful. Anything else you want to say on this topic of empowering women and this movement? (Laughs)

P: Well, I think to empower yourself comes in stillness and quietness. So it's kind of the opposite of the chaos around us, so that's maybe one little… one doorway that it comes in stillness and quietness.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And for myself, I like to create beauty in my life. I like to make my home beautiful, my office beautiful, my garden beautiful. I like to go into nature and feel the beauty of nature. I'm fortunate that I live by a lake and I can go and visit that lake and feel something greater than myself through this.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: So I think, you know, those simple things in life, that's how you feed your soul and your soul desperately needs to be fed.

J: Oh, for sure.

P: And it will make all the difference.

J: Right, right, yeah. Well, let's have a quick break for our sponsor and then come and talk about some of your favorite things. Your life sounds beautiful and I can't wait to hear about (well, if you can do it) some of your favorite books and your morning routine; so we'll be right back.

P: Okay.

J: Welcome back, Pashana, and I want to talk about your favorite things, especially I want to hear what are your favorite books. You're such an avid reader, can you narrow it down?


P: Well, I’ll narrow it down to the authors I read.

J: Okay.

P: Currently, Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, a lot of women have enjoyed that book. She is a wonderful teacher and she's a teacher at a very deep level and it's very positive. And I love her because she's a woman and she's giving us the information we need. Some of my favorite teachers have been Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle. I've spent a lot of time studying ‘The Power of Now’ and all of Wayne Dyer’s books.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And but what I would say more than anything is the books and the material that have come to me have come to me very synchronistically. So just try to be in tune with a book that somebody might recommend or you might hear about a book or might have even fall off the bookshelf.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: Books that come to you synchronistically are probably the ones you need and they will be perfect for the moment that you're in.

J: Ooh, that is the best advice and we've never had that on the show (Laughs); I love it.


J: What are your favorite happiness tools? We mentioned that word earlier.

P: Yeah. My favorite happiness tools are, I mentioned meditation, but I love yoga; so yoga is a big thing for me. I love nature walks, I love reading, I love being with my family. We have great fam-jams on a regular basis. My children are adults now but now we do have grandchildren. So this really feeds my soul to be with them and we're able to have great conversations about what we read and what we're learning in life; so these are beautiful. I like to create beauty around me, did I mention that already?

J: Mm-hmm.

P: I think I did. And like to eat fresh healthy foods. We try to take really good care of ourselves, we try to eat organically and find markets and farmers that can give us food that comes as close to source as possible.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

P: So, you know, I think we live simply but richly.

J: Ooh, live simply but richly, that’s beautiful.


J: And what does it mean for you, Pashana, to be a vibrant happy woman?

P: Well, it means to be empowered. I think it means to have my thoughts and my words and my actions all lined up to be in harmony. And to think well of myself and to also not care, literally not care what anybody else thinks of me. And I'm working on this one because I've always tried to be a good person.

J: Mm-hmm.

P: And I think that sometimes meant it wasn't really authentic. So I don't think it's about being good, I think it's about just being true to yourself like really love yourself and not caring what anybody else thinks because, you know, they're not even there, they don't even matter. What matters is us, each of us, ourselves, what matters is me, and then we will see everything explode around us from that point.

J: So true. And just like we talked before, empowerment means receiving your own guidance. But even here where you say, “I'm not going to care what anyone else thinks of me,” it's going back to that guidance and knowing, “Hey, this is important to me, this is my path.”

P: Yeah.

J: Yeah, beautiful, beautiful.

P: Yes, yeah. And make your mistakes, like don't judge your mistakes, don't judge at all. If you can if… it's possible, don't even judge a rotten banana. But most of all, don't judge yourself, like welcome those mistakes, they're beautiful, that's how we learn, and then we can have compassion for everybody else’s mistakes too.

J: Ah, mm-hmm. Pashana, if our listeners want to know more about you, where can they find you?

P: You can get me on Facebook. My name on Facebook would be Pashana Linda Kay Knapp, spelled K-n-a-p-p, and you can friend me if you like, but my site is completely open to anybody that would like to look at it, and you could reach me through Messenger on Facebook if you'd like and I'd be more than glad to communicate with the women that would like to empower themselves and…

J: Beautiful.

P: … be happy and fulfilled, yeah.

J: Yeah, we'll have a link to your Facebook page on our show notes page. So, everyone, that's at jenriday.com/144. Well, let's have a final challenge from you to our listeners and then we'll say goodbye.

P: Sure. Okay, well, I'm going to go with Bob Marley quote that is a great big poster in my house that first thing you read when you walk in the door, “Love the life you live and live the life you love.”

J: Ah.

P: And I think that comes back to, “Be true to yourself.”

J: Very good. I'll leave it right there, it was so beautiful; so much wisdom. I'm going to be listening to this one several times. Thank you so much for blessing us with your time today, Pashana.

P: Thank you so much for letting me share my great love to everybody listening. Carry on, girls, be strong.

J: Thank you so much.