133 Transcript: Force vs. Being in the Flow State of Mind (with Carolin Hauser-Carson)

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J: Episode number 133, all about shifting away from forcing all the things you want and moving towards that energy of slowing down, entering a state of flow to receive the things you want. It feels so much better and you're going to learn how to do it in this episode. Stay tuned.

Intro: Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, stories of vibrant women living happy lives. And now, your host, Jen Riday.

J: What’s happening? What's shaking? Jen Riday here, and thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Vibrant Happy Women podcast. How are you doing? I hope you're having a fantastic week so far. It is Monday when this is released and I want to let you know that I love you guys, you are amazing. We don't hear it enough. I'm especially giving a shout out to my friend Kara on the plains of Nebraska. She loves when I tell her how much I love her. Kara, I love you, and everyone else listening, I love you too. You are doing such a fantastic job. You're here listening, you're trying to be a better person, you’re trying to raise your vibe and your energy, and that's why you're going to love this episode today because I'm bringing on Carolin Hauser-Carson. We're going to talk about giving up that idea that we have to chase faster and faster and work harder and harder to get what we want, instead shifting into that energy of flow; that state of being in the flow, that feminine energy that helps us slow down and receive rather than force the things we want in our lives.

I'm super excited about this episode, but first let's have our review of the week from Lisette. I want to give her a shout out; thank you for leaving that review. And she wrote, “I love Jen's podcast because there's something for everyone. If you have kids, if you don't, married or not, young or not, the topics apply to us all. I look forward to my weekly small group because it is a great source of encouragement. We are in this together, regardless of where we are on our path-Lissete,” cool, right? Thank you for leaving that review and I agree with everything you said. We are all on the same team; we all need to be lifting each other higher. And you mentioned being in your small group so I know that Lisette is a member of the Vibrant Happy Women club; thank you for leaving that review. But, yeah, she is in the club because she knows it's helpful to be with a group of women who are all on the same path of betterment, being more high-vibe, shifting into that place of taking excellent care of ourselves and being in that energy of flow. So, Lisette, thank you for leaving that review.

Everyone else, I have to tell you the Vibrant Happy Women club that Lisette is mentioning is open for enrollment. Yes, I'm so excited. I love, love, love bringing together women who are on this path of bettering themselves. And when you bring them into small groups where you get to talk and share ideas and talk about the podcast and set goals together and improve, wow, it just feels so amazing. So many women tell me that they are lonely and they can't find high-vibe friends like the people they hear about on the podcast, and that's why so many women in the club love the small groups. Now, if you don't feel like you have time for small groups, you can also just join the club and work through everything on your own. We have worksheets, we have guided meditations, we have monthly topics where I teach you something and it's a lot of fun. So if you want to take better care of yourself consistently and do it within a group of women who are also on that path of personal growth, becoming their best selves, being positive and optimistic and happy and high-vibe, then the Vibrant Happy Women club is for you and you can sign up at vibranthappywomenclub.com. Thank you so much for leaving that review, Lisette, and everyone else, head over to jenriday.com/itunes and leave us a review. I love to share those on the show.

Okay, well, let's get into this week's episode. I grew up on a farm where I did a lot of work. I remember Saturdays rolled around and I dreamed of being like other teenagers where I could sleep in; oh, no, no, that wasn't happening. My dad graciously let us sleep in until 8 AM and then there would be this pound, pound, pound on the bedroom door, kind of a knock, but more of a pound like a farmer might do, and my dad would say, “Get up, it's time to work.” My parents’ top value in life was work. They are very much into that hustle and grind and they still, they love to work, they cannot sit still; and they're getting older, but that is their number-one value. And I did it for a long time, I benefited from it, it helps me to this day and I'm grateful. However, the longer I've lived, I realized I cannot spend all of my time in that masculine energy of drive and hustle and achieve; it makes me feel out of balance. And that's why I love this week's episode with Carolin Hauser-Carson because she talks about shifting our energetic frequency into more of a feminine, receptive energy, receiving good things. Those of you who have a faith or spirituality, maybe you have faith in God and trust that God is bringing you good things, maybe you trust the universe is bringing you good things, but there are many, many benefits from ending that constant hustle and grind and taking time to take care of yourself, to receive and to feel and to fill that cup. And it's funny, when you are at that energetic frequency with more love and joy and peace and calm, people feel it; not only that, it benefits your family, but not only that, good things start to just come to you. This is called the law of attraction, raising your vibration. It feels good, but good things tend to happen to you when you're in that energetic state; test it out. Well, we're going to talk about that on this week's episode with Carolin Hauser-Carson.

Carolin is a published author and the creator of The Pleasure IQ, where she teaches you how to shift into that feminine energy and to receive things, to have healing in your relationships with money, with your body, with your spouse, with your family, and even with yourself. And you're going to love everything that Carolin shares in this episode and she is my special guest on the Vibrant Happy Women podcast today. You're going to learn how to shift out of the energetic state of depression into something that feels better, the difference between low vibrational energy and high vibrational energy, why you're probably using your willpower in the wrong way and what to do instead, the benefits of giving yourself permission to feel what you're feeling without judgment and so much more. So now, without further ado, let's dive into this interview with Carolin Hauser-Carson.

Carolin Hauser-Carson is one of the world's leading experts in family constellations. She's also a published author, mentor, and the creator of The Pleasure IQ, her proprietary signature system designed to guide her clients into healing their hearts, healing their relationships with money, their bodies, their relationships with their families, and most of all, healing their relationships with themselves. Carolin actually just moved into her own slice of paradise. She left California where she's been living the past 14 years and moved to her own house on the tropical beach near Tulum where she'll be living, teaching, traveling together with her partner, Paul, her first husband, Daniel, and her 2 beautiful and very lively children, Maya and Nori; did I say that right?

C: Yes.

J: Oh, very good. Please help me welcome Carolin Hauser-Carson. Welcome to the show.

C: Thanks for having me.

J: Yeah, I'm excited. We're talking about some great things today, but let's jump right in with your favorite quote.

C: My current favorite quote is actually something that my husband always says, and it goes like this, “We don't have power over other people, we don't have power of our circumstances, but we do have power over our own energetic state.”

J: Mm-hmm. So how do you apply that or if you were teaching your kids about that, what would you say to them?

C: This is pretty much what I help people, shifting energy, right? Everything in the universe is energy, and there’s low vibrational energy and high vibrational energy. And low vibrational energy, to us, feels… feels that like, when we're in a low vibrational state, we feel frustrated, angry, nothing's working, we feel depleted, burned-out, stressed, all those things. On the contrary, when we are in a higher vibrational state, we feel good, things are flowing, we have love in our lives, we feel blessed, you know, we’re… it's easy to be in a state of gratitude, all those things. And the thing is, we have been given willpower and most of us use it in the wrong way by, you know, controlling or wanting to impose our will on the universe or other people, when what we really have power over is our energetic state and how to shift it. And that's, you know, been pretty much my life's work is learning about how to shift energy, how to shift out of negative states of being into positive ones so that life can look very differently.

J: Ooh, I don't even know if I want to go to your low point yet because immediately, I thought, you know, let's say someone listening is in a lower, very lower vibrational state of feeling depressed, for example…

C: Yeah.

J: … or anxious maybe, how do we shift that state? Let's dive right in there.

C: The fastest way to shift it is through actually… coming back to your body and allowing yourself to feel, our body is actually an instrument that can transmute lower vibrational frequencies into higher vibrational frequencies. And I always give the image of like the alchemists in the olden days, right? They had the lead and then they had their cauldron and then they did whatever the chemical process and they knew how to turn the lead into gold. And so let's say you're feeling really down and low, that feeling is like the lead, it's the material that you can use to turn into gold and you do it too using your body in a specific way, mainly just really as a sensing tool or sensing organ. And by doing so… so by giving yourself full permission to just be where you are and feel everything that you feel without going into the story, without explaining it, you know, just completely being present to what you're feeling, that allows the energy to shift and to change and to become of higher vibration because it's an act of self-love, right? And so it automatically… so love and peace are high vibrational frequencies, right? And so immediately, by giving yourself that attention and space, you're shifting into a different vibration. Most of what we do is when we feel bad, you know, we're beating ourselves up on top of it, right? We're like, “Oh my god, like why am I feeling..?” and, “I should be doing this. I should have energy,” and should, should, should, should, should.

J: So if someone were depressed, all they need to do is stop beating themselves up and then feel it, just feel it with no judgment, it's that kind of the essential piece of that?

C: Well, it depends, you know? You can't go from completely depressed to feeling super happy, right? So it always goes from where you are to just feeling a little bit better. And for somebody who's depressed, for them, actually the next step would be to get in touch with the anger. Dr. David Hawkins who's no longer living, he… he dedicated his life the research of vibrational levels and he has created, it's called the scale of consciousness or map of consciousness, and I think Esther Hickson and Abram they talked about this too from the law of attraction. Each state has a vibrational frequency that's measurable. And so shame and guilt are the lowest, they’re like 20 and 30, and then I think fear is somewhere on 70, anger… anger’s… I have to look at it, but it's… so basically, you know, when you're apathetic and depressed, the next step up would be to actually be angry would be a step up. And then from… with the anger, you actually start having energy, right, you now no longer completely feeling like you don't have any energy. And then 200 its the line of courage. Anything above courage is life-giving. So once you get to courage, once you get to a place of, “I can do this,” then it's much easier because then you're in a space of life supporting energy. When you're below courage, when you're feeling like there's no way, the energies that you go in resonance with are very much life destroying, your body will get sick, you know, we've all experienced those states, I think.

J: Mm-hmm, wow, that's great. And it reminds me, my teens, you know, I feel like sometimes teenagers like to be angry because it's a better feeling than depressed, you know what I mean?

C: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

J: And then we just need to get them to go about that. (Laughs)

C: Yeah, it's a good sign when they're angry, I think. You know, once they get depressed, then you have to start worrying.

J: That's true, that's true, pick a fight; no, I’m just kidding. Well, let's go back and tell us your story, you know, how you came to know these things. Oh by the way, I'll reference, the energy levels are from the book ‘Power vs. Force’, is that right?

C: I think they're in there, yes, too.

J: But you mentioned David… what was the last name?

C: Hawkins. He's the author of ‘Power vs. Force’, I'm not sure, but I think it is in that book too, yeah.

J: Okay, got it.

C: But you can just Google it on Google and you'll find, you know, map of consciousness, David… David Hawkin.

J: Map of consciousness, okay, great, thank you. Okay, tell us your story, you know, I assumed you were at a lower point at one time in your life and you had to learn all of this to raise your vibrations.

C: Yeah.

J: So tell us that.

C: I was actually somebody who, I gave my power away. So power and energy are really connected and I was somebody who gave my power away very early. I was sexually abused by my grandfather, starting from age 3 and I didn't tell anybody because I… you know, I loved him and I was very confused. And so that pattern repeated itself, I had eating disorders from 10 to 20 and, you know, basically felt like the eating disorder had power over my life. And even with when I had my kids at first, you know, I would give the power to them, I would give the power to my first husband and just basically let him, you know, fulfill his dreams or go for what he wanted and just be the support person. And so along the way, with the eating disorders, I was very blessed to find family constellations, which is the mortality that I'm… that is one of my main modalities now or it's the main modality that I use. And in my early 20s, I had an experience where I had one session and basically it was healed from the eating disorder. So that kind of set me on to the path of studying healing and I trained to be a naturopathic doctor and humanistic psychotherapist in Germany. And I spent all my 20s learning about healing, energy healing and so forth. And then, for me, I actually didn't remember my sexual abuse till I was 30, till my daughter was 3. And so that kind of threw me for a hoop and made me actually… my first book is around sexual abuse and sexual healing because it's very much connected to your energy and how much energy you have available to live. But my breakdown and really came when my second child was a year and a half old and didn't sleep much, and I had got myself into a very negative space.

I was married to my first husband who I knew wasn't my soulmate. We had gotten together and I had gotten pregnant and we just said, “Okay, you know, let's just try it.” And so… and I really wanted to have children, but I knew he wasn't the love of my life. And so I was stuck in a marriage where I knew it wasn't authentic really and we're having a very hard time financially, we had to file for bankruptcy, and my adrenals and… we're totally shot. So I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and adrenal burnout and just barely could get off the couch with a, you know, 16 months at home… old at home and then a 6 year old in kindergarten and my husband at the time working full-time.

So one night he came home and I just said to him, “I can't do this anymore. You know, it's not fair to the children, I just can't,” and hoping he would understand it would get help somehow, but, you know, he was very stressed out too because he was, you know, working all the time and was worried about what was going on with me at home. And so he just said, “Well, you know, you wanted to be a mother.” And with him saying that, for me, my whole world collapsed and I literally collapsed. I had a complete breakdown. I left my body, I hovered under the ceiling, my kids were on top of my body sobbing and not understanding what was going on. I was looking down at them and did not have an impulse to come back, which was really scary because, you know, I love my kids very much. And then something else happened, a voice said, “Carolin, your work isn't done,” and with that, I was sent back into my body. And for 5 days, I was suspended in a state of complete harmony and could see how I shifted in and out of negativity. So basically, I had a musical experience, and the moment I would start going into a negative direction, the whole orchestra or the whole… you know, it was literally like I was listening to an orchestra, and the moment I would go somehow energetically or mentally into a negative direction, the whole thing would go out of tune and so sound horribly; so I wouldn't go there, you know?

J: Ah, that's beautiful.

C: Yeah, it was really magical. And then, on day 5, we got into a fight and I dropped out of that state. (Laughs)

J: Mm.


C: And ever since, I've dedicated really my studies and my work to really figuring out, “How do you get yourself into that state? How do you stay in that state?” because my experience during that time was that everything flowed, that what we want and the receiving of what we want is actually that, what we want is already here, the reason why we don't have it is because we put stuff in the way, right? You know, at the time, I didn't know much about universal laws, but now, since then, I've studied and there's a universe law that's called the law of polarity which states that nothing in the universe is created half, that means a desire comes with its fulfillment. You know, a desire is one end a fulfillment basically. Desire and fulfillment go together, masculine and feminine go together, up and down go together, left and right, so I had a direct experience of that truth. And so what I've learned basically is that there's 2 things that we need in order for us to be in an experience where life flows and things that we want manifest quickly are coming to our experience quickly. And one of them is you learning how… you know, us learning how to get ourselves into a harmonious energetic space or state, and then the other part is to learn to allow ourselves to truly want what we want, right, to be really clear about our desires and our yeses, because if we're not, then things can't manifest, you know, then we're not basically… well, in essence, because everything that we want is already here, I always give the picture of like parallel universes, right? So imagine that where you are right now is one universe and where you want to go or the things that you want to have and be are just one universe over and there's many different possible universes around you. The way that you end up in the universe that has the things that you want is by saying yes at every step of the way because you're connected to. And like it's almost like an umbilical cord that this universe has with you and it guides you or that the way to navigate yourself into it just by saying yes to things that feel good. So that's where pleasure comes in and allowing yourself pleasure. So the more you learn to know what feels good to you and in saying yes or making decisions based on that, completely, you know, based on your internal guidance, the faster you’re end… you're going to end up in a reality that feels like your paradise to you.

J: Mm. So what's your personal paradise? Just paint the picture of how it worked out for you.

C: Yeah so for me, you know, I had to leave my first husband (unclear) [19:07]. I wasn’t living my purpose at all, I had had no business, I had written, my book was not making money. So within 2 years, I grew my company to multi 6 figures, I met my divine partner and soulmate, Paul, we bought a house in the Caribbean on the beach, which is paid off. I was driving a Tesla, I couldn't take that to Mexico unfortunately, but… (Laughs) my health is 95%. I mean, I feel better than I've felt in my 20s, there's always still room for improvement, but I feel great, I look great. I've helped over 5000 people, you know, just to mention a few things, and it all came from basically just realizing what I just shared and then making decisions based on what felt right and good. And, you know, that meant taking risks because I'm from Germany, I had no credit, I had no resources financially when I left my marriage. My ex-husband is not, you know, in position to pay any child support, so it meant taking the leap, you know, and (unclear) [19:58] and figuring out how to run a business and taking risks and investing and all those things. But, you know, the change was dramatic and very quick because I literally jumped into another universe, right?

J: Yeah, yeah. So, Carolin, you talked about the map of consciousness, how do you translate that kind of thinking into your life? Like, did you add something to routine in the morning? I mean, how do you make it something that sticks? Because, you know, it's all fine and good to hear the ideas, but how do you actually do it every day?

C: Mm-hmm, that's a really good question. So basically, I've created a model where, imagine that your life is like a 6-storey house and every story is a level of 100. So the bottom level would be 100, the second floor would be 200, your paradigm of paradise is the 6th floor which is 600 where you feel at peace in at… and in flow and ease. Most of the time when we don't feel good, it's because we're, you know, 2nd floor, 3rd floor, somewhere there. We’re not… you know, none of us on this call is like at the bottom level, I'm assuming, because that would be, you know, a 3rd world country and so forth; I mean, really struggling and being homeless and things like that. And… and if you are in that situation and you're listening, this applies to you as well; you just have to work a little harder maybe.

So in order to get yourself from one place to the next, the simple thing is to follow what feels good to you. And this is counterintuitive, right, because we think we have to do all these things, we have to get other stuff and work done. So in a practical way, what's really important is to carve out time for yourself or you can actually sit and feel how you're feeling, where you can connect to your soul and then really follow those impulses and do the things that feed you and nurture you. So in my reality, when I left Daniel, my first husband, I had 15 hours a week without the kids during the day and I took 10 of those hours and just rested and journaled and went to the beach and did yoga, I went on some dates and stuff, just things that nurtured me and would fill up my cup. And then I used the leftover, the 5 hours to build my business and I created a full-time income on those 5 hours a week. And so it's really more about shifting your priorities and making your self-care the top priority because every… you know, once you shift, when you energetically shift, you will be able to see new opportunities, it is not about doing more or working more or working harder, it's about you becoming of a different frequency so that you attract different opportunities, if that makes sense.

J: Mm, yeah, it's cool. So let's say someone has a problem with their marriage or their finances or a troubled teen, which is something I kind of just went through…

C: Mm-hmm.

J: … so you're saying, rather than powering through with our warrior energy, pushing it, making it happen, pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps, we need to invest a lot more time in that self-connection…

C: Mm-hmm.

J: … and then we'll attract the exact same thing we were trying to force?

C: Not necessarily the exact same thing, but things will resolve themselves. You know, you can't solve…

J: Ah.

C: … a problem from the level that was created. And then the other thing is you know there is modalities like family constellations. So there's things that you can do yourself and then there stuff in the subconscious where, you know, if you keep having the same result. So we can't really know what is in our subconscious because it's beyond our conscious level, right? So we can't just…

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

C: … look inside and see, but what we can do, we can look outside and look at our results. And if we keep having the same result over and over while we're thinking we're doing other things, you know, we're trying to change things, that is a sign that there's something in your subconscious that's persistent, because 95% of what we create in our life is created by our subconscious. Our subconscious wants to keep us safe, and then no one is safe; even if it's shitty, right, even if it's struggle. So the tricky part about all of this is learning how to override your subconscious programming, right? The subconscious will keep you where you are through fear and shame and guilt and all those things, just because it wants to keep you safe; it doesn't mean any harm. And so part of the art of this way is to learn to deal with these emotions and keep moving forward. And then there's… and also to recognize, “Okay, this is a pattern and I've done everything. I've spent, you know, thousands of dollars, I've gone to healers, I've gone to therapy, and still not working,” that's when it's good to do something like family constellations, which is a modality that really basically can make whatever… you know, based on the results. So let's say, you know, you're having a hard time in your marriage and it's just… you've tried everything and it's over and over and nothing is changing. You know, I don't necessarily know why that is, but the constellations basically, the work itself, will make visible whatever the root causes of the problem in your relationship, and then somebody who is really skilled in this methodology will be able to shift it so that your life completely changed without you doing much, other than going and receiving one of those sessions. Because it's like our subconscious creates by images, and so based on the image that we're holding, the subconscious wants to create matching experiences. So if you have an image round unhealthy relationship, that's what you know, then that's what it will recreate. And the constellation will basically take that unhealthy image out and put the new image about healthy relationship, like a new imprint in your subconscious, and then it will just go by autopilot because it always tries to just match the image that it has in its memory bank.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

C: Right? And so there's nothing that you consciously have to do anymore because your subconscious is super powerful and will just go to work to match that image now.

J: Ah, that's awesome.

C: So it seems like magic in some ways, you know, but it really isn't.

J: So what does it mean, family constellations? I haven't heard of it.

C: It's a German modality and the translation is not very fortunate, unfortunately.

J: (Laughs)

C: But it got its named because basically, originally, you were do… you did it in a group, and so I'm just going to share my experience because I think it's a best way to explain it. I've been doing this for over 20 years and it’s still hard to explain because you really have to experience it. So I went to a group for a weekend and I didn't know anybody in that group. There were a couple that were facilitating, and when it was my turn, they basically asked me to pick people from the circle. We had a big circle and a big empty space in the middle and they asked me to pick people from the audience to represent or to stand in for my mother, my father, my siblings, and the eating disorder. And so I basically got up and I asked the people, “Would you be willing to represent for my mother and so forth?” and then the person that was willing, I would take and place in the room. That's why it's called constellating because you're literally taking people and you're asking them to facially represent your inner picture basically of your family or anything, right? It started out with doing this as a family therapy modality, but you could do it with businesses, you can do it with you and money, you can do it with you and your inner organs, you can do it with anything that's in relationship to each other; which is basically everything in this world, right?

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And so basically, I put these 6 people in the room in kind of the way it feel right to me and then I sat down and then like the facilitators just started asking these people questions. They knew nothing about me, they just knew that I was there because I had eating disorders and that I really wanted to heal from the eating disorders. And then what happened was really magical these people knew stuff, you know, and they were able to say stuff that totally resonated and I totally knew were true, but I had never had the courage to say or never allowed myself to think or feel. And what I know now is that basically, there is a field that's… we call it in the constellation world, we call it a knowing field that it has all information that's ever been, you know, or everything, every information that… everything from everything that's ever been and everything that ever will be. And because these people don't have any connection to me, they are pretty neutral and can just work as kind of like channels basically.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And just… so it's almost like you get to work on a soul level where it's just you work with truth; the truth just comes out, whatever the truth is. In my scenario, the truth was that the eating disorder was keeping me alive, which I had no clue because I felt it was killing me, I was fighting it the whole time, and when in reality, it was actually the thing that kept me alive during that whole time because it gave me something to do.

J: Wow.

C: And so that completely shifted… you know, that completely shifted me and my energy and everything, the whole system, and then, you know, it took 4 months of me like still struggling a little bit, but getting better and better and better every day, and then it was just gone.

J: Wow, that's amazing. So you only did the family constellation work once for this?

C: Yeah, mm-hmm. And I didn't even make the connection, it took me like… you know, all of a sudden like 6 months later, I was healed, and then it took me like another year to put it together. And, you know, I just thought I did it, I thought, “Oh, I finally beat this thing,” you know?

J: Mm-hmm.

C: When, before, for 10, years I tried everything and I couldn't beat it, you know, and then eventually, I'm like, “Hold on,” I went to the… and did the session, and then all of a sudden, I was able to do these things. (Laughs)

J: Ah! Walk us through another one, I mean, because you do this kind of work now, what other kinds of sessions have you seen? Like, say it's around marriage or… or money or something.

C: Money it's really a funny one because it's so different for everybody, right? So I've had one money I remember. So when I do it now with people, I do it one-on-one and I do retreat. When I do it one-on-one, basically I have people pick colored field, kind of like color papers, and then they tell me where to put them on my floor and then I step onto the different ones. So I've gotten to step into hundreds and hundreds of different monies and hundreds and hundreds of different partners. I help people find their soulmates too because we're already connected, right? So… so one of the money that I got to step into was feeling super lazy and sluggish and it really needed the person, the woman, to figure out her philanthropic mission, right? So it wasn't so much about her business and the money, the money really wanted her to be clear on what she wanted to do in a bigger picture and as like a philanthropic endeavor, and then the money got really excited and started flowing and getting up. And the woman had been really stuck because she had one business, she was, I think in… just a business coach. And her heart really was helping to empower teens and children, but she couldn't see how the money was in there. And so because we did the session, she gave herself permission to really pursue the passion project basically. And with doing so, you know, the money started just flowing in both.

J: Hmm, oh, that's great. It's almost like it pushed her to find that thing she needed to do anyway.

C: Yeah, yeah.

J: That’s great.

C: But, you know, oftentimes, we think, you know, we have to do one thing first before we can allow ourselves to have the thing that we want. Like I, for example, thought I had to be completely like enlightened before I could find my soulmate, and I also thought I had to be like a millionaire before I could find him, and, you know, neither of them were true, right? But we… and I come across this a lot with women, they… you know, they think, “Oh, you know, I still have more work to do. I'm still not perfect, I'm… you know, I'm not ready yet.”

J: Well, so how did you find your soulmate? That sounds like an interesting story. (Laughs)

C: Yeah. So what I discovered basically is that we're all connected to the people that we’re meant to be with, based on the law of polarity. And so I have trained people to do reading, and when I was ready to really be with… the end of 2015, I basically declared that I was no longer tolerating not having a house, not dancing, and not being with my soulmate. And so I hired one of my clients that I had trained and had her step into the energy of my divine partner, and so she did a reading for me and described him to the T; that's really funny. She was describing that he was still almost ready, he had to deal with this mom somehow and that he had a teenage child and had a really good relationship with his ex-wife. And so I knew a few things about him and I also knew that all I had to do was to be clear and say yes and say no to everything that's not him. And so I just basically, all I did at that point was, I put up my profile on match.com. I had a photo shoot for my business so I asked the photographer to take a couple pictures and she's like, “Okay, just think of him,” so I was thinking of him as she was taking the picture. Then I put… and I was very clear in my description on match.com, I really wanted to have my divine partner; that's just for me, that's what it felt like and what I would call him. And so part of me was like, “Are you crazy? You know, if somebody reads that on match.com, they'll think you’re like a lunatic.”

J: (Laughs)

C: So I didn't put it at first, I think, I just put my description up, and then I hadn't put a title and nothing happened for 2 weeks. And I finally looked at my profile and realized, “Oh, I didn't put a title,” so I put, “I'm looking for my divine partner,” and then within a day, he found me.

J: Hmm.

C: His first message to me was, “I think it's interesting that you think a partner could be divine.”

J: Hmm.

C: Right? So I knew like I just… I was completely true to myself and honest and that's how the match happened.

J: Ooh, that's good.

C: Yeah.

J: And you had to overcome that fear that people would think you're crazy. (Laughs)

C: Oh yeah. And, I mean, I didn’t get any responses, you know, for 2 weeks. (Laughs)

J: Yeah.

C: And he was… there was one other guy, but I knew… you know, I knew that wasn't him and then he was really… and I had had… I mean, I had dated before, I'd been on match.com and had made… to learn my lessons, you know, so that was my second attempt.

J: Mm, that's so great. Well, where can people find you if they want to find out more about the work you're doing and follow you on social media and all…?

C: Women in The Flow is my website and also my free Facebook group.

J: Okay.

C: And on my website, I do give 2 resources, one of them is teaching you the exact process on how to use your body to transmute the negative energy into positive energy; so, you know, it's really the main tool that I use and that I keep coming back to with my private client. And then the second tool is a tool that teaches you to know what you really want and what you don't want because it's oftentimes hard for us. And so it gives you a way to really know in your bones what your true yes and what your true no feels like, and those are really 2 things that you need in order to start navigating yourself into your paradigm of paradise, that parallel universe that feels great to you. And the best way to connect with me is really Facebook, either under my Carolin Hauser-Carson personal profile or through the Women in The Flow group.

J: Awesome. Well, let's have a quick break for our sponsor and then we'll come back and talk about a couple of your favorite things.

Okay, welcome back, Carolin. What's your morning routine looking like these days?

C: It's good question because I've just moved to Mexico so I have the opportunity to completely do it new. But generally, I light a candle, I set my intention, I bless myself, I bless my family, I bless my community, I connect to my higher self and I really allow myself to just a few… you know, it doesn't have to be very long, but just really connect to my soul. I journal; I journal about how I'm feeling, I do. Because the version of ourselves that lives in paradise is already in existence, I spend time connecting with that part of me through journaling and writing… you know, writing things down, how she would do her day today. And then when I have time, I also do, you know, move or dance or, you know? Oh, I don't go out in the morning so much, I do that one in the afternoon, but that's just the… that's my bare minimum routine in the morning.

J: Awesome. What is your favorite easy meal?

C: I'm actually mostly eating fruits and vegetables, so anything that can be put in a blender or salads and fruits, and dates; dates are very good.

J: Ah, they're so sweet and yummy, yeah.

C: Yeah.

J: What's your favorite book?

C: Right now, I've been liking ‘Outwitting the Devil’ by Napoleon Hill which was a book that was kind of hidden and lost and just got published a few years ago, and then ‘Letting Go’ by David Hawkins is really one that I always have on my nightstand.

J: Okay. And what does it mean for you to be a vibrant happy woman?

C: To me, it means to be in flow and be in a state where I feel really connected to my soul and in my feminine and at peace.

J: And let's have a challenge from you to our listeners and then we'll say goodbye.

C: So I'm really challenging everybody to make their self-care a top priority, no matter what, and start catching yourself when you're making excuses and letting, you know, your kids or other people take over your time.

J: Well, I love your advice and I appreciate everything you shared. We'll have links to everything you talked about on our show notes page at jenriday.com/133. And, again, everyone, you can find the Carolin at womenintheflow.com. Well, Carolin, any last things you want to say or advice you want to give before we say goodbye?

C: Yeah, it's kind of what I started with, you know, because we think we have to do so much, but what we really only have to do is we are here. I believe that we came here to have the best experience possible and make ourselves happy and allow ourselves to know what those things are and then to allow ourselves to actually go for them. I don't think God created us to suffer, I think he created us so we could be our best selves and really, because of that, feel fulfilled and happy and at peace.

J: Nice. Thank you so much, this was wonderful, I appreciate you being on the show, Carolin.

C: Thanks for having me.


J: Take care.

I just love talking about energy and vibration. And I didn't used to use those words for it. I grew up knowing some people just seemed happier and more positive and others were just Debbie Downer. Well, the longer I live and the more I interact in this self-help coaching world and I apply it with my faith as well, I think that our kids tend to pick up on and create a baseline energy that matches that energy in our home. Yes, there is variety among our kids. Some of my kids seem to be naturally happier or higher vibe, sometimes they have their moods and it can be different depending on the day, but I really believe that we generationally pick up on and model that energetic level we see in our homes from our parents. And so, hey, the pressure’s on, right? But we're not going to guilt ourselves or shame ourselves because shame is the lowest vibration emotion; icky, right? Well, for those of you who are members of the Vibrant Happy Women club, we have a worksheet this week where you get to think about your vibration. And I've included a chart from David Hawkins from his book, ‘Power vs. Force’, a chart that lists the energetic levels of all emotions, all the way from shame all the way at the bottom, all the way up to love at the top, love and peace, and what that looks like so you can know where you are; you can almost measure your energetic frequency by looking at the chart. We're going to be talking about that and journaling about that in our Facebook group and in our small groups this week. If you are not yet a member of the club, definitely join us.

The purpose of the Vibrant Happy Women club is to raise our energetic frequencies to be the happiest, calmest, most patient and loving version of ourselves. And we all want this; we want to feel good and we want to feel calm and we want to show our kids what it looks like. And we can do that, but sometimes you need to have others who are doing it with you. That's the funny thing, we tend to be like the 5 people we interact with most, and if you were around people who are lower vibration, who are negative, who complain, who have a victim story, who are shaming themselves, they pull your energy down; we tend to be like the 5 people we interact with most. But what would happen if you start to interact more and more frequently with others who are raising their vibe, who are raising their energetic frequency into that energy of, “I can do this. I'm courageous. I am loving. I am peaceful. I am calm,”? That only happens when you're committed to taking care of yourself and you're committed to being around those people who are shifting upwards. And that's why I love the club, it's filled with women who listen to this podcast, who want to be better, and who want to talk about it with each other. You can join us in small groups, you can do your work on your own and just work through the journal prompts. There are guided meditations every week. There is our Facebook group where we uplift and share positive thoughts all the time. And, every month, I share a topic that goes deeper and further into something I've been thinking about like energy or boundaries or self-care or routines or time management. It's a lot of fun and I would love for you to join us, and you can do that at vibranthappywomenclub.com. The club will not open again until the spring, so this is your chance. If you know you want to work on really having that spiritual practice of raising your energy, including some meditation in your life, getting into that grounded, calm state where you feel more in control of your life and feel more peaceful and calm and high-vibe, then the Vibrant Happy Women club is for you. And, again, join us at vibranthappywomenclub.com. I will be back next week talking with Shazia Imam about being fiercely feminine; we'll continue this discussion on femininity. And I cannot wait because she's a friend of mine and you're going to love that episode as well. Bonus, Shazia is going to be giving us a workshop in the Vibrant Happy Women club, so another reason that you should join us. Again, sign up at vibranthappywomenclub.com. I will see you next time, and until then, make it a great week. Take care.

Outro: Thanks for listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast at www.jenriday.com.