137 Transcript: How to Master Affluence in All Areas of Your Life (with Carol Tuttle)
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J: You’re listening to the Vibrant Happy Women Podcast episode number 137. Do you ever crave something MORE in your life, perhaps a better marriage, better finances, better health, well in this episode you’re going to learn how to add greater affluence – or abundance – to all areas of your life. Stay tuned.
J: Hey my friends. Thank you so much for tuning in to Vibrant Happy Women. I’m so glad you’re here. I love you guys and want to express my love for you because you’re showing up. You’re putting your happiness as your top priority and that’s important because when you show up as your happiest self you give others permission to do the same. Happiness is contagious and we are lighting little sparks that hopefully burst into flames to just cover this whole earth with more and more happiness. That’s what this is all about. Well today I’m so so excited to share that my guest is Carol Tuttle. Carol is a teacher, speaker, energy healer and the founder of Dressing Your Truth which teaches you about your energetic type and the clothing and jewelry and makeup that look good with your skin type and your energy type. I’m a type 3. I don’t know if you’ve done it before and you can check it out online and I’ll have a link for that on our show notes page. But she’s also the author of the Child Whisperer where she takes those energetic types and helps you know how to parent each type of child. And it makes a huge difference; instead of stuffing our kids into a mold where we expect them all to behave and be kind and soft and gentle, it helps you to recognize there are all different types of kid with all different types of energy. And I’ve shared on the show before that I happen to be raising a bunch of alphas with high energy with this rebel-questionnaire tendency. Carol explains that type of energy in her book the Child Whisperer. I am thrilled she has written yet another book called Mastering Affluence: 6 Lessons to Create a Life You Love. So affluence, that word is related to the word abundance, which sometimes gets overused. In this episode you’ll learn how to look within and use your intuition to find what’s correct for you, why we can’t heal our physical health until we heal our emotional and mental areas first, the secret to taking ownership of your mind and recognizing, hey, this is a tool I need to train, and then some cool insight on why Carol believes religious and political leaders are falling off their pedestals and how humanity is emotionally maturing and growing up. Such a great episodes. Some big picture thinking about our entire planet, some smaller picture thinking about how we can heal our lives in so many ways. How to feel affluent and in control of our life in all of those main areas: spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially and in our relationships. She has so much great insight. Carol’s my personal guru right now and I love her and I can’t wait for you to get to know her as well. So let’s dive into this fintastic interview.
J: Welcome, everyone, I am so excited to be talking to Carol Tuttle today who is a teacher, speaker, energy healer, and a best-selling author of 5 books and a pioneer in the field of personal development. And I first came across Carol's work probably about 5 years ago when I learned about her Dressing Your Truth program which helps you kind of identify your personal energy and how that might help you know what to wear and how to show up in the world. So that made a huge difference in my life, but now I am loving even more her new things that she's doing in the world and we're going to talk about her new book today. Carol, go ahead and tell us a little bit about that and then we'll dive in later after we hear your low point. But anyway, welcome to the show. (Laughs)
C: Oh, thank you. Thanks, it’s good to be here. I've got my newest book coming out, it's actually releasing September 18th, it's called ‘Mastering Affluence: 6 Lessons to Create a Life You Love’ and it's what someone, one of my… one of my fans who was a pre reader said it's one of my best works yet. It's a compendium of what I've learned through all my own healing through the years, which is going on over 30 years now and I've kind of… I've gathered the most insightful and practical things so it's both… it opens your mind to more understanding of your potential and that we compromise every day of our lives because it's become our setpoint, our norm, our reference for what we're used to, but it's some level of struggle or pain that we've decided we have to live with. And I open your mind to more and then I show you how to identify where you are compromising and change that. It's an interesting practice because you're not doing things you don't, you're always thinking, you're always responding with emotion, you're always experiencing this world, both in your internal landscape and then the physical aspects that we deal with every day. And so I love that I've been able to really use my own life and myself as my own tutorial to really learn what I teach so that I know it's a life practice of mine what I teach in the book and that you will see things happen that you once thought were not possible because you had decided they weren’t.
J: Wow, I love that. Well, tell us first what does affluence mean and the way you use it in the book.
C: Well, affluence, I chose that particularly over the word abundance and I speak to that in the book because that's become sort of a trending word. And anytime something becomes trending and overused, we ignore it eventually. (Laughs)
C: It’s like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
C: And affluence, I think the first hit people think of as financial, there's a sense of a money relationship, if you're affluent, you're wealthy. And I would say that that's true with that particular area of your life that you could then, so if we take spiritual affluence, it's truly owning your own sense of spirituality and having your own direct connection. And with the divine, is you understand what guides you in your life, that your inner compass is poignant, it's strong, and you look within first to know what's correct for you. And you feel, you know, in many times called to things and moved and, you know, it's correct in the progression of your life, that's a very strong spiritually affluent person. To have relationship affluence, what I teach in the book is that you're in a… your… you have autonomy in this partnership that you have an ability to be yourself, say what's true for you, be heard, be understood, and do the same for someone else. But there truly is a sense of, “I am my own person, my partner's their own person, and we… we come together as partners to know how to support the unique variable that we each bring.” And so I have these 6 areas to teach you how to create affluence in each 6. So the spirituality, what is mental affluence, what is emotional affluence; that's your inner landscape. We are really being turned within to explore our inner selves and to claim ownership of our inner world. And then we move to the outer world experience of your body, what is physical affluence and financial affluence and relationship affluence, and that you can experience that in all areas. And it's very rare to meet someone that's achieved that. They usually have just 1 or 2 or a few of the categories that they've been able to be successful and be affluent, and yet they have accepted the struggle part of their life in another area. That struggle is something that we've been heavily conditioned to kind of keep agreeing to when we've never lived it a better time to change it.
J: Mm, let's have a few more definitions for all the areas. You mentioned spiritual affluence is looking for what's correct within you, following that inner compass, and then relationship affluence, having that autonomy to be heard and be your own person, supporting each other as partners. So tell us more about mental affluence.
C: Well, mental affluence is when you take really ownership of your mind and recognize it's a tool that you need to train. Most people let their thoughts run them and they let their thoughts run rampant and they do not understand that the thinking mind is a tool that needs to be worked with and conditioned to what you want it to do to create an affirmative mind; a mind that looks at the world with looking at reality with the opportunity and potential that's there, instead of the mind dragging you down with negativity and self-criticism and just a lot of negative opinion, that the mind is your tool that you have to claim and train.
J: Claim and train.
C: Then emotional affluence is a state of inner peace. It doesn't mean you're constantly feeling comfortable emotionally, you may feel uncomfortable emotionally but, you know, it's really at this… the foundation level, the level of just the core of who you are emotionally, you understand that everything's okay, that there's a sense of well-being amidst whatever may be stirring up emotion, and you emotionally grow yourself up, which means the emotion you're experiencing is about the now and not about 10, 20, 30 years ago.
C: So you've got to… mostly, humanity is very emotionally immature and our emotions are getting provoked very readily to show us it's time to emotionally grow up, take ownership of this experience and grow yourself up emotionally. So that's a big focus of the emotional piece.
C: And then physical is, you know, it's… we compromised a lot on the physical level with disease and illness and then weight issues. And I'm now 60 and it's common as I see myself as I become more in the mature season of my life which, you know, if I live to be 100, you know, got 40 more years left, I've got a lot of time here. I'm not going to sell out to, “Oh, it's because I'm getting old.” And the conversation we have with our bodies to me is fascinating because most people are… what they think about their bodies, what they say about their bodies, their perception of their potential physically, it traps the body from being able to do what its innately designed to do, which is, I 100% believe that the body’s built to regenerate and heal when given the proper support to do that. And when you clean up your mental and emotional, you free your body up, you really let the body do its thing. And I'm an expert now on how to heal chronic pain, I navigated that one recently.
C: So physical affluence is being healthy, fit, and feeling good and your body's performing at a high level, regardless of what age you're at.
J: Interesting. I want to come back to that part about cleaning up your mental and emotional but first, tell us more about the financial affluence.
C: That's just always having enough and more; you always have enough. You have enough money to do what your purpose is and to experience, to have not only your needs met and beyond that you can experience this world with and create… use money as a tool to create pleasurable experiences that support both whatever you're doing functionally and what you're choosing to do for pleasure, that money's no longer an issue.
C: Money's the tool, it's like you trust it's always there. (Laughs)
J: Yeah. Well, okay, you said almost nobody hit all 6 of these, but who do you know that has?
C: My husband and I are pretty close.
J: Nice. I know, I kind of…
C: We’ve been working at this for a long time.
C: And, yeah, I mean, I can honestly say I'm in a good place with all of them.
J: That's awesome. Well, let's go back in here the pre-perfect Carol; I’m just kidding.
C: Well, now it’s… again, it’s like… again, we think, in order to fit in, we have to be willing to give something up. It's almost like, “Well, who am I to say I've got all this figured out?” you know?
J: Right, right.
C: “I've been through a lot and I'm not someone that's willing to accept mediocrity or compromise.” And so with that intent, you know, it's been my… I've been… in each area, I've been hit with some of the worst you can deal with honestly.
C: I'm not willing to live in pain.
C: I'm not willing to… not willing to suffer because I know we don't have to.
J: Okay, tell us about the physical one first. You mentioned recently dealing with chronic pain, how did you heal that?
C: Well, it was interesting because I hadn't had navigated that, I definitely been through the weight experience and I really found a lot of answers and resolved that in the last 10 years. But, you know, that goes back to an eating disorder in high school and really having a lot of weight and body appearance issues, shame-based references to who I was. And so I have a lot of expertise and understanding how to heal that piece, but I can never navigated the chronic pain. And about 4 and a half years ago, it came upon quite suddenly, it's almost like my body just kind of fell apart. Yeah, I was dealing with chronic lower back pain and chronic pain in my feet and my lower legs. And as far as a diagnostic condition, I was dealing with chronic plantar fascia, tendonitis and neuropathy due to the back issues were causing circulation and blood flow problems, and I already have very low blood pressure. And so I have successfully healed that, it's a condition my father actually died with.
C: That was (unclear) in nature and very similar issues that I was facing that he had dealt with for decades. And, yeah, he had a lot of… and I teach you in the book how I found the answers. And what my biggest aha one day was, about a year and a half into this as I was just so frustrated, exhausted, discouraged, you know, I'm trying to find the answer, “What's going to help me?” looking outside myself, “Where's the, you know, resource I need? I'm willing to do whatever.” And I was told clear as day, “You're looking in the wrong place. Your body is the doctor. Your body knows how to heal, you need to start looking to it the guide you.”
J: Ah, I love that. So what did you learn about your body?
C: Well, I started to have conversations with my body. I started to listen to it. I started to notice that reflex I had where my mind wanted to go find the solution and my body wasn't directing those choices, my mind was. The mind is really at odds with pain, the mind wants to fix the pain, I had to learn to have a relationship with my pain, I had to accept the pain and what had taught me. You know, I always wanted something to stand by me constantly; my pain did.
C: So I started just the dialogue inside myself and I started to let my body lead the experience. I teach people how to start doing this where you start to listen to the body as the director, not your thinking mind who's like, “Fix, fix, fix.” And you start to notice the pretty obvious difference of where it's coming from, because the minds very generated from fear, where the body, you're being drawn to something, it feels right, feels almost, like for me, it's in my gut. And I have a very strong relationship with my body now. I listen to it, I pay attention to it, and it guides me.
J: Okay, so let's go a tiny bit deeper there. I know about intuition and most of my listeners do as well, so what are you doing? Are you meditating it to get in touch with that deeper knowing? How are you getting to know what to do to fix whatever problems someone might be having?
C: I just put something… you know, if something feels I can… first off you, I consider something, “What's the draw here? Is it my mind?” I know what it's like to want to fix something because I'm frustrated, I'm fearful, and I want it to be over, see? So that's my mind trying to will that one forward like, “Come on, let's get this done.” And so my body has a very different approach. It's willing to take longer, it's willing to go through, it’s the more patient quality about it. There's a more investment in a process and trusting it and… and just you can feel the ease in your body when something's right versus the angst your body will present. Sort of attention versus no tension in the body, it’s literally in the body, it's not your head.
J: Nice, I gotcha. So you're not hearing any thoughts, it’s…
C: Yeah, “How's my body feel?”
J: Yeah, okay.
C: “How’s my body feeling about this?”
J: Oh, I love that. Well, let's talk a little more about spiritual affluence and knowing what we need to do according to our inner compass, maybe talking more about how people know how to hear that inner compass and then having the courage to follow it.
C: We're in an interesting transition energetically where, if you look back just even a generation 2 or 3, definitely 3 ago, you would see in your family… your ancestors, that their practice of spirituality was really held very strongly within the construct of religion. And there's no commentary here and whether religion’s good or bad, it's just how things have changed. So they were held within the construct, your family had a religious association, which pretty much stayed with that family for many… you know, you go back far enough there's quite a history there. It's only in the recent last couple generations that's altered itself where you just weren't born in… you know, you had choices. Things started to open up energetically in the 60s when there was just a lot of movement to have your own say, be your own independent person. And so as we now move from that, we're in a place now where we're being asked to look within where our ancestors looked outside of them to conform to most typical influent… the people that they look to to be influenced by were political leaders and ecclesiastical leaders. And as we've seen, those have all fallen off their pedestals for a purpose. They have meant to not be… you know, we might say, “We can't trust them well,” it's not so much that that we're meant to trust ourselves first. So we're in this really massive shift to say, “Okay, it's no long… you're no longer being asked to look outside yourself, give your power away and conform to whoever whatever, you're being given opportunity to look within and your own guidance system and say, ‘What's correct for me and what do I choose to be a part of that supports my spirituality?’” If that's religion, then that's an awesome experience to support you, if it's nature… you know, there's a lot of variables there. And you're going to now see when you once saw several generations ago, everybody was held in the same constructive of, “We all are a part of this religious factor,” that's rare these days you within any family unit.
C: That's just evidence that this is all energetically opened, which is a really good thing because now you can raise your children in the guidance of, “Look within, you'll know what's correct. This is here to support us, not to take our power away and tell us what to do.” And I actually have some really interesting stories that I share in the book about two different clients I had, one was really raised in that, “Well, you just conform. You're obedient, you conform, that's what you do,” that particular individual left their religious experience because they didn't feel supported. The other story is someone that was actually invited to look within, trust themselves, “This is a support system. This is community. This is a… you may not agree with every piece and part of it, there's so much good here,” they chose to stay involved, see? So that variable is very, very strong in us right now, especially in our children because they're being born with that directed inward, they don't have this… they don't have their foot in both worlds, you know, they don't… my lifetime, I’ve seen the whole thing shift. Children are being born at a time where they're just designed to look inside themselves and go, “What's right for me?”
C: “I'm my own person.” And they're going to give you a push back if you try and alter that in them, they can't. It's like they're hard wiring is very different as a human being, which is a good thing because they're not going to get shut down by their parents as readily as my generation did.
J: It's so true. I have very strong children so I love to kind of feel that validation.
C: We’ll throw a spotlight on my book, ‘The Child Whisperer’. If you're relating to what I'm saying, you need to read my parenting book, ‘The Child Whisperer’ because it teaches you what you can do differently to get your child to cooperate.
J: Yeah, that’s a great book.
C: Because it specifically, it's your parenting approach that's not working, it's not the kid.
J: Yeah, darn it! I've read that book, but I guess I'm going to go back to it. (Laughs)
C: It's a good book.
J: So keeping going with this spiritual theme, what do you feel like is the bigger picture for our planet and energy and spirituality? What's happening? Why is it happening?
C: Well, if you see things that have changed over in the last 40, 50 years, you're going to have, you know, this bigger of a shift in how we experience things like, in my… what I sense is happening is, we love community, okay, we need community. We've gone too far in being kind of isolated and beginning very high-tech that we want to be, you know, more hands-on with people, more touchy-feely, more, “I want to give you a hug, not just send you a text,” you know? Yeah, I think we're going to come back into some more balance with that and that is the generations that are now from Millennials on down because they're kind of finding themselves in this massive crazy that feels like it's going on. I don't think we're going to lose. You know, a lot of things are going to come back with more pure intent with them to support people at large. More community, if it's religion or it's within in your own cities, there's just more good people on the planet than not.
J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
C: And there's people that are putting… that are forces for good that gather and enroll people in great things, and you're going to just keep seeing that grow. It's just this chaos that you feel is happening is sort of what we knew and what our parents knew, our grandparents that, what I'd… from my point of view from understanding energy is those constructs are falling apart and they're… we're in the center where we feel like, “Where's the walls?” you know, there's no clear guidelines anymore, and say, “Well, we have to create new ones that are more supportive for the whole.”
C: And we will.
J: Wow, I love it.
C: So, yeah, I love it. I think it's great being here. I mean, that open energy allows you to create your life very, very specific to you.
C: There's no constraints anymore, it's up to you. That's why I wrote in the book, “Here, I'll teach you how because guess what? You're the only one stopping yourself, that's it.” You know, unless you live in some third-world country where you are really, really… but, hey, the people buying my book are and first… they're dealing first world problems that they're actually creating. Once you get that, you go, “I don't even have to experience… I can change this.”
C: There's so much opportunity.
J: Ah, I love this. Let's have a very quick break for our sponsor and then come back and talk about financial affluence.
Alright, welcome back. So, Carol, tell us more about financial affluence. I mean, when people think of abundance, their minds go immediately to finances, but what are your thoughts on that and do you see happening in the world?
C: My husband and I were very fortunate to create this to be a really big issue. About 25 years ago in 1995, we had no income for about a year and a half, we had $45,000 in credit card debt, which would be equal to over $100,000 in today's economy. We did not know where… my husband was unemployed, I wasn't bringing any in… you know, we had no income. So every expenditure was just increased debt, along with all our recent consumer debt, you know? So we were just… you know, I know that place of feeling very powerless when it comes to money. I know the emotional experience, I know the crazy it makes in your relationship. And I was in my bathroom one day and I was really, really conflicted and believed I couldn't be happy till we got this money thing resolved. And once again, I was told, I get these poignant sort of Carol… Carol moments where I… you know, God's telling me, “Hello, you need to learn this,” and I was told, “You will not change your money issue, your money situation until you learn what real happiness is.”
C: I'm like, “Okay, well…” and it doesn't take a whole… I mean, that's all I need, I enroll myself very quickly, and I'm quite a disciplined person. So that became my next practice was to not… I had done learning how to see what was right, good, and supportive in my life, in spite of the fact we had no money and we had a massive amount of debt. And I started to practice that every day and my husband and I came together on this and we started to learn all the things that we were doing, saying, thinking, practicing, emotionally responding to that was cause… creating a lack of money. One of the biggest epiphanies we had was he turned to me one day… no, I said to him, “Do you have any money?” he goes, “No, I never have any money,” he goes, “Do you have any money, like any cash in your wallet?”
C: And I said, “No, I don't have any money either.” And it hit me just like bam! I'm like, “Oh my gosh! No wonder I don't have any money because I keep believing I don't.” I say I can't afford it all the time, I'm just creating a lack of money over and over and over to the point where it got so extreme, I had to notice it to change it. So from that day forward, I made a commitment that I've lived by. It's been since 19… that was in 1996. I made a choice that I would never have less than $100 in my wallet and I have kept that commitment. So I'm going to go, “I'm going to put money on me and I'm going to believe that I have money and I'm going to create having money.” And any given time, I've got at least 100, 200 or $300 in my wallet and then I have a… in the book, I talk about some of this where, “What does that bring up for you?” because that can freak people out, you know? You really want to bring up all this old story you're living in when it comes to money. And, you know, this many years later, I'm now the owner of a multi-million dollar business and have no money issue, you know? I don't ever have to be… for my lifestyle, what I feel is correct for me and what I want to enjoy in the world, I have plenty of money.
C: And I know… I mean, that's been… we got that one cleaned up. It took us about 10, 15 years to really, really flip that. You can do that now. What I had a decade and a half to do, I can teach you how to do that in a matter of months literally and start switching that.
J: In the book.
C: Oh yeah, yeah. No, that's an easy one that… money wants to be the good guy now. Money isn't energy, money is a tool. Money is a neutral present, a neutral commodity with the belief we projected on it and it will obey us a 100% ten fold. Whatever we believe about it, it will create for us.
C: No, it wants to be the good guy. Money's like, “Come on, let me be there for you. Let me help you.” You can create as much money as you want, there's no gold standard anymore. It's like you created much debt, as much wealth, it's up to you.
J: Right, right. Well, I've noticed while you've been talking, you say, “We cleaned that up.” And I talked to my husband and we analyzed our conversations. I know a ton of women out there listening (myself included) are thinking, “Ugh, but my husband doesn't like talking about this kind of thing.” So how do you develop that relationship affluence, not just that, but in terms of spiritual and personal growth?
C: Well, again, you want to see their self as the partner in the experience and be the big girl and be the adult and not turn into the keys… that's a really old patriarchal energy where the guy’s in charge.
C: I usually teach this in the book. There's this metaphor that I use in the reference to the biblical story of Adam and Eve, and I have this story in the book where, you know, they were both presented with their choice independent of each other. And when the a Satan went to Eve, she didn't go, “Wait a minute, I need to go talk to Adam and see if he'll do it.”
C: “And if he does it, I'll do it.” I'm like, no, she made an independent choice that actually affected her future and she used her free will and she informed him. Well, I think that's a good model for women to follow.
J: Yes, yes.
C: “I'm choosing this, would you like to join me?”
C: “And I won't bug you about it, but I'm going to choose to do this. And I'm not going to have these conversations anymore, but I am willing to have these.”
J: Correct, correct.
C: “Well, I'm learning and I'm willing to grow and I'd love for you and what I want is…” In a relationship, you really don't want to hear about all the stuff you don't want. You got to talk about what you want and, “Would you like to join me? Okay, you have your right, you know, you're free to do whatever you want, but this is correct for me and this is how it's going to look different for me.”
J: I'm on that side of the coin, I'm definitely the big girl, I make my choices, but I wish that my partner was coming along with me…
C: Well, did Adam…
J: … a little faster. (Laughs)
C: Did Adam come along?
J: Eventually. (Laughs)
C: Oh yeah, consider the possibility you're meant to be the one to lead and you're meant to cut the path and they come along at some point.
C: And then they don't have to do all the work you got to do, they'll just come along. You're like, “Yeah, I mean, I left you a freaking highway,” and he was like, “Thank you, I'll just join,” you know?
J: (Laughs) That's awesome; that’s so great.
C: Women wait, they wait too much. They think it has to be this partner thing in their… their spiritual evolution. I'm like (unclear) [26:10], really claiming yourself and showing up in where you want to be in the world is an independent experience. And how your partner does that may look very different thing the way you choose to navigate that.
J: Yep I love that, to create the highway, “Build the freaking highway,” there's the Carol quote of the day. Well, you mentioned, you know, you seem very guided spiritually, have you always been that way since you were young? Have you developed that with time?
C: I think when… my background, I lived in a very… I had a very traumatic childhood, a lot of abuse from my father, mother that was very shut down, really a piece to my dad, it was a really, really traumatic space to be in. And what happens when you're in that and you've been abused and there's this sort of, you know, watching out for yourself kind of, “I got to watch my back,” and you've been taught as a kid that you've got to make sure you don't make a false move so that your dad doesn't go off, you know, that was the really prominent message is we got it… you know, it was interesting when I realized that I was raised in an environment that I had to walk on eggshells and I'm like, “No wonder I have problems with my feet,” you know, how to let go off that one because they were definitely related. But you have this ability, your intuitive kind of your empathic qualities develop very young because you're having to read the energy, you're having to read the space. You have to know things could happen before they happen. You have a very strong sense of, “What's going on here?” because nobody talks about what's really going on but I got to interpret it. Well, I've been able to take that and turn that into a real prolific gift now in reading energy and understanding the unseen and really getting clearing. So, yeah, for sure, you know, all in my professional career, I've definitely been given very, very clear guidance. My motto that I live by, you asked me, you know, in the notes you sent ahead of time, something that I live by, it's, “Follow the energy where it's guiding me; what's correct,” I'm very, very keen on that I know what is correct. And it's just over the years and decades having confidence around that and being willing to do what's correct over what my mind might perceive is what other people think I should do.
C: That's been very strong for me for, I think, just a byproduct, the fact I was on my own a lot as a kid and I have all brothers and everybody had started fending for themselves and not close to either parent as far as turning to them in any way for guidance, it's like it's up to me if I'm going to make this work. So…
J: Mm-hmm. And the energy, for you, you know, is that a connection to a higher power? I mean, you mentioned Adam and Eve, is that God? How do you view that energy?
C: Yeah, I got a really strong sense of both Mother and Father God. There's a partnership there, I aligned with that as… that I'm guided. To me, it's… it's not something I have to have, I put a lot of time and thought into saying, “Well, what does that exactly look like?
C: It's like, “Hey, I'm good enough with the simplicity of it,” and I just know my soul is a big part of what guides that part of me, that's untouched by any of this it’s like got my back. And so living… I feel very strongly I'm living my soul purpose and I've awoken to my potential and I'm playing it out now. My… I think I'll have the most successful career of my life between 60 and 70.
J: Mm, beautiful.
C: Yeah, well, people are starting to wind down, thinking they got to like… I'm like, “I'm just getting going.” (Laughs)
C: “What's possible here?”
J: What are your career goals if you have any you're willing to share?
C: Well, yeah, I was in private practice for years with private clients and I'm very, very good in that space with healing work and the energy therapy tools and all of that. And I haven't practiced in the private practice realm for… you know, I'll see clients here and there once in a while but I have a pretty high price tag to work with me and they have to be pretty invested in the work I do and versed in my material. But I just launched, a month and a half ago, a new website called Heal with Carol, and it's an online healing center. It's a companion work to the book. It's like the book’s going to provoke you to heal things in your life, so I've created an online space that I can support people in clearing old shame-based beliefs, you know, cleaning up old energy the body carries, learning how to train your mind to be an affirmative tool, how to heal anxiety, depression, all kinds of things. And there's guided healing plan… there's actually, you sign up, it's a subscription-based platform. And there's 9 healing plans, and I take you from anywhere depending on which one you choose, either a 2 week, 3 week or 4 week plan, depending on the nature of that plan offers. And it's so you're working with me 1-on-1. You know, I've got all the videos, everything's in there. We have a Facebook group that I'm very, very active and I do monthly coaching calls. And today, we have… just in the first month, we have 1000 members and my goals to get 5000 members. So I'm shifting my practice from 1-on-1 to 1-to-5000, I want to help 5000 people all at once heal their lives. And I believe like, yeah, because I’ve figured out how to do that using today's technology.
J: Nice, that's so awesome. And that's called Heal with Carol?
J: Ah, wonderful.
C: It's really affordable too, it's only $69. You can do the 1 month for $69 or 3 months for $179. And the community is really amazing because they're very supportive. You've got people that have been doing this kind of work for fair amount of time and then people are very new to it. And it's just a very compassionate community without it being… and a lot of accountability. I teach people how to be accountable, because what you aren't willing to be accountable for, you can't change, but once you own it, you have a choice to change it.
J: Wow, that's awesome. We'll have a link to that on our show notes page at jenriday.com/137 and everything else, plus your awesome, awesome book, ‘Mastering Affluence: 6 Lessons to Create a Life You Love’. Carol, let's dive into a few of your favorite things and then I guess I'll have to say goodbye, but I don't want to, this has been amazing. Tell us what has been the highest point of your life? We kind of talked about some of your lowest points, maybe it's now being 60, I don’t know.
C: Well, those aren't necessarily… those are just moments, you know, of not necessarily being attached to any particular thing where you just notice, “I feel good,” you know, knowing what I've come through and how hard it's been at times. I dealt with… we didn't even talk about the degree of depression I had to did heal in my life. And I know what it's like to lay in your closet for 3 hours in the fetal position day after day after day. I know what it's like not to be able to will yourself to get out of bed, you feel so broken it's really… you know, I get it when people say they have anxiety, I know what it's like to feel like everything's closing in on you and you can't breathe. I'm just so grateful that I just feel at peace, I feel good, I feel balanced, I don't have to have something going on. I have a lot of great things that happen in my life. I travel a ton, I have a great family, I have awesome relationships, but to me, it's there's such an inner peace now within me that, wherever I go, I'm just comfortable.
C: I don't have thoughts about the past, I don’t worry about the future, I'm very present in my day.
J: Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm.
C: So it just, it's really nice to be in that place; that's a high point for me. (Laughs)
J: And it almost seems as if you're low points are what got you there.
C: Yeah, yeah.
J: So maybe the low points are the teachers; which we all know. But…
C: Yeah, yeah, but you want to get over that. I mean, once I realized that that you could learn through joy versus pain, I'd choose the joy; enroll yourself in that lesson. (Laughs)
J: There you go.
C: You don't want… hey, you know, I just signed on for a lot. People in my position, I'm here to figure a lot of things out some others don't have to go through what I go through; I'm fine with that. I don't want you to go through what I went through, let me help you make it easier. (Laughs)
J: Right. What does your morning routine look like?
C: Because my mental health really thrives from staying fit and working out, that's one of the first things I do. Within 20 minutes of waking up, I'm working out. I either… I have a variety of things that I choose from, I have Pilates that I go to, it's… that I can walk to in my neighborhood. I live in a very hilly, high, you know, elevated area that you're getting a lot of aerobics when you walk in my neighborhood, you're getting a lot of high heart rates. And so walking in my neighborhood is a really good workout. And then I like to mountain bike and I do Orangetheory and that just changes my day. When I don't work out, I'm not as balanced. And I have an Apple watch now and I close my rings every day.
J: Nice! So physical is the first one for you and then it affects everything else.
J: That's unique. I mean, I wouldn't say that most of my guests say that, but that must be why you're so amazing. (Laughs)
C: In my profiling system, I'm a type 3 and we have a physical connection to the world. So I can't imagine waking up and then reading and meditating, I'm like, “I’ve got to get moving.”
J: Right, right.
C: And that would be typical for someone with my profile, that moving is going to be more beneficial than sitting and doing something more spiritual or meditative or intellectual.
C: Because we have this strong physical quality about us that we need to engage.
J: Ah, nice. Okay, and what is your favorite easy meal?
C: Right now, it's whole… I eat very low carb diet, I'm not really strict keto but I lean towards that because my brain does better without sugar; any simple carb consumption. And so I will eat whole fat yogurt with some fresh fruit and a no grain granola that I really like that I found, it's called Paleo Granola, because I really… I don't eat more than 40, 50 carbs a day and my body likes that. So, again, my body's helped me learn what it's preferences are when it comes to my food consumption. And I've hit my sweet spot with that one because it wasn't even just the sugar thing, removing that, I haven't eat sugar in like 2 years, and the low-carb thing was interesting to discover that that, “Oh, it's just carbs at large, my brains just not as healthy with higher carb consumption.”
C: And I started to test that when I started to zero in on that and it was, my body knew, I didn't feel as good, I felt very foggy, brain fog and stuff, tired; it would zap me.
J: Hmm, well, tell us about your favorite book. And we know yours are good, but… (Laughs)
C: I know, I don't… you know, when I'm writing books, I don't tend to read other people's books; I just want no influence. And I'm an Audible person and so probably the book that was the most life transformative for me is not very well known, it's written by a man that really understands healing, Michael Brown’s ‘The Presence Process’. It's not for everyone. I'd say my book, ‘Mastering Affluence’, is the more at large of… I mean, it requires a huge commitment to do what he teaches in there. But pain was such a motivator for me, I was very highly and committed to his, what he taught and it was life-changing for me.
C: I learned a lot from him.
J: And let's hear what it means for you to be a vibrant and happy woman.
C: Well, I think I've been talking about the… (Laughs)
J: Yeah, I know, but I thought you might want to narrow it down. (Laughs)
C: Yeah, you know, that's being a piece of myself. Years ago, around that same time we were in the thick of the money stuff when I was learning the happiness lesson, I had a thought, “You know, I'm always going to be with myself, always, I will never get away from me.” And there were many… you know, most days, it was hard being me, it was hard being with me, but I have to learn to be my own best friend.
C: And I took that opportunity upon myself to go, “If I'm my own best friend, what I think of myself? How will I speak to myself? What's my inner dialogue? How do I treat myself?” And I've achieved that, I am my own friend.
C: I am my best friend, I like being with me now.
J: Nice. Well, let's have a challenge from you to our listeners and we'll say goodbye.
C: Alright. Well, the one I would offer is to no longer say you're sorry, “Oh I'm sorry. Oh, sorry,” women are very good at saying they're sorry, it's very common in their language. When you do that, you put out an energy that's awkward for other people to deal with and it just is a downer energy on yourself and it really chips away at your self-esteem because you probably don't have anything really to be sorry about. It's okay if you… if there is truly an apology that's appropriate, then use that, “I apologize,” and make it about that situation. But to keep saying you're sorry for things that really aren't really asking for that, it's more a habit, and it's more like, “I just don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable with me. I want to make sure everyone's okay and I don't want to upset anybody.” It's sort of trying to diffuse what you're afraid of or trying to prevent something and why it's said. Well, don't think there's anything to prevent, you know, you're fine and people are fine with you. So just start to notice when you say it then catch, “Oh, sorry I said I'm sorry,” you don't want to say that one.
C: Yeah. It's a real practice to eliminate that particular phrase from your vocabulary because it will shift your own esteem of yourself because… and because you feel like, “Hey, everything's okay, there's nothing I have to take care of here.”
J: Yeah, I've heard you can turn all the ‘I'm sorrys’ into ‘thank yous’. Instead of saying, “I'm sorry it’s late,” you could say, “Thank you for waiting,” it is much more empowering.
J: Hmm, that's great. Well, remind us where we can find you and then we'll say goodbye.
C: Well, everything can be found at caroltuttle.com. I have… everything connects through that website.
J: Okay. Carol, this has been amazing. Everyone, be sure to grab ‘Master Affluence’, Carol's new book, it's phenomenal and you heard just a taste of everything that she shared on the show today. So thank you for being here, Carol.
C: Thanks for having me.
J: So there you have it. So many good tips about mastering affluence in your life. You really can have it all and Carol is a great example of that, going through those struggles, learning what she needed to know, listening to her intuition to get to the right place for her, just as we all can do as well. Speaking of intuition, if you’re a member of the Vibrant Happy Women Club, we’ll be talking about how to make intuitive, heart-centered decisions this week. If you’re not a member of the Vibrant Happy Women Club, you can get on the waitlist by going to vibranthappywomenclub.com. I’ll be back next week talking to my friend Chris Beninend, talking about letting go of “what if” or “shoulda woulda coulda” when you’re going the grief process. And that’s really important not to ask those disempowering questions, but to ask the empowering questions, like, “What can I do to make this situation better?” rather than, “Why did this happen to me?” Until then, make it a fantastic week. Take care.