Do you find yourself feeling resentful, frustrated or upset with the people in your life? In this episode, Dr. Laura Froyen shares how you can strengthen your boundaries in order to preserve your energy, improve relationships, and rediscover authentic connection with your kids, spouse, and other loved ones.
What You'll Learn in this Episode:
- The difference between internal and external boundaries.
- Recognizing the relationship between fear and the need to control and How to let go of control.
- How to have the conversation with your spouse and doing more around the house.
- How to do a “soft startup” in a conversation to prevent or stop an argument with a spouse.
- The importance of teaching kids – especially girls – strong boundaries.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Laura:
“You can’t love yourself if you have no compassion for yourself. Comparison can be so sticky because we are comparing our outtakes, our behind-the-scenes footage to others’ highlight reels. That is just not reality.”
“The first step in setting any boundary with an important person is to get really clear on why you feel your boundary needs to be set. Getting really clear with our goal with that relationship in particular, and our goals for ourselves in that relationship is the first place to start. Then you kind of start figuring out where the boundaries need to be and you start asking yourself, what is my role in this? What do I have control over? What is mine to take care of? Is this my issue or is this their issue? Then it’s about getting clear on those things.”
“To be honest, I find being authentic to be the most important thing. To be authentic, you have to be clear with what you really want -coming from a place of vulnerability and honesty, not in a blaming way – and to do it in a way that is deeply confident that they want the best for you. They love you and they want the best for you. Coming around and pulling them into your side. ‘Help me figure this out.'”
What does it mean to be a Vibrant Happy Woman?
“Deeply knowing and trusting myself + being brave and vulnerable and slowing down and savoring life. I also create little rituals… gathering to watch the sunrise or filling out a gratitude journal at dinner.”
A Challenge from Laura:
“Be crystal clear on goals, values, and priorities. Set an intention for yourself: YOU get to decide your emotions, your feelings, your experience. Have FIRM internal boundaries, such as, ‘I will not allow this person to have the power over me to let me ruin my holiday. I’m going to be intentional.' It will help guide your actions.”
Links From This Episode:
- Heal Your Heart: A 2018 Journey of Self Love
- Follow Laura on Facebook
- Follow Jen Riday on Instagram
- Jen on Facebook
- Dragon Riders of Pern
- Parent Effectiveness Training
- Vibrant Happy 5 (get five self-love tips every Thursday!)
- Have questions you'd like Jen to answer on the show? Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
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