Vibrant Happy Women with Dr. Jen Riday | Emotion Regulation for Moms and Kids (with Brooke Weinstein)

Have you noticed your child has a constant need to be moving, snacking, crying, or even obsessively listening to things? These are all behaviors that signify emotion dysregulation. There is emotion in their body that they do not know how to process, so they act out. 

It’s our job as moms to model emotion regulation for our children, but how can we do that if we were never taught? That’s what my guest today is a master at. Brooke Weinstein is a coach, mom, and doctor of occupational therapy. She helps moms learn how to regulate their emotions, trust their gut, and live a life full of joy. 

In this episode, Brooke walks me through some of the common acting-out behaviors we see in our kids and how we can help them process their underlying emotions. She shares how moms can start doing this work for themselves and how doing this work will impact their lives. We discuss childhood anxiety, how to take ownership of our needs, and why emotion regulation is the ultimate argument for self-care.

If you’re tired of not feeling good enough and letting anxiety and depression rule your life, you need to join us in the Vibrant Happy Women Club. The doors won't be open forever, and we have tons of new and exciting features inside. It’s time to make your own happiness a priority, and the Club is where you’ll learn how. I can’t wait to see you there!

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why your child might be constantly wanting snacks.
  • How anxiety can be mistaken for ADHD in kids.
  • Examples of behaviors related to emotion dysregulation.
  • How Brooke helps moms rewire their fight-or-flight response.
  • The difference between a tantrum and a meltdown.
  • How learning to regulate emotions ourselves can help our kids.

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

 

Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, episode number 269. We’re talking about emotion regulation. Did you know behaviors like needing to move, crying, talking a lot can be an indicator that your child and you need to regulate your emotions? Stay tuned.

Hi, I'm Jen Riday. This podcast is for women who want to feel more vibrant, happy, aligned, and alive. You'll gain the emotional, physical, and spiritual tools you need to get your sparkle back and ensure that depression, anxiety, and struggle don't rule your life. Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women Podcast.

Hey there. Welcome back to Vibrant Happy Women everyone. We are talking about emotion regulation today. We all know the importance of processing our emotions, of being emotionally resilient. But what was new to me from listening to this episode is that emotion dysregulation issues often manifest in the form of movement and hyperactivity, crying, flapping behaviors or stimming behaviors common with autistic kids or autistic people, talking, obsessively listening to things.

So many of the things that we see as misbehavior in our children like my daughter, Jane, who was hiding under a table commonly when she was seven at social events, my son getting in trouble at school. In reality you’ll learn in this interview with Brooke Weinstein that these are behaviors that indicate there is an unprocessed emotion that needs to be given some attention. How simple, how profound is that?

Well, Brooke goes on in this interview, you’ll hear that it is essential that we as moms learn to regulate our emotions to understand why we are behaving the way we are. Why we feel a need to numb with sugar or alcohol. Why we need to have quality self-care to move emotions through. And as we become masters of emotional regulation for ourselves it becomes very easy to do that for our kids.

Now, how did I find Brooke? I had a listener message me and say, “Jen, you need to have this lady on your show.” I went and followed Brooke on Instagram and she has the most fun and funny social media messages. She has reels, and stories, and IGTV clips, lots of video of her being silly and fun. And I think you’ll love her. So sit back and relax and get ready to learn more about emotional regulation for moms and our kids.

Jen: Hey everyone. I’m talking with Brooke Weinstein today. She’s a doctor of occupational therapy and a mom of two. Her kids are ages seven and four. And she lives in Texas. She is here to get real about mamahood tips and tricks, child development and how to live your truth as a mama. She has over a decade of experience and built a thriving business in New Orleans called Therapeutic Learning Center which focused on treating the child and educating the entire family on how coping skills and strategies to manage the societal challenges children face.

This eventually led Brooke to begin coaching mamas and families. And now Brooke helps mamas tap into their individual strength, teaching them how to trust their gut and support their growth in building emotional connections with their kids and families. This is so cool Brooke, welcome to Vibrant Happy Women.

Brooke: Thank you, I am so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

Jen: So a listener of the podcast said, “Jen, you need to interview Brooke Weinstein, she’s so cool.” So I followed you on Instagram. I saw you doing these amazing Instagram stories and reels. Everyone go follow Brooke on Instagram. What’s your handle there?

Brooke: It’s Brooke – B.r.o.o.k.e. and then half of my last name, it’s W.e.i.n.s.t.

Jen: Brooke Weinst, I like it. So she does these amazing stories that will just have you laughing and cracking up. I don’t know, what do you call it, dubbing your voice over something else?

Brooke: Yeah. I just use other sounds, but it’s just spoofs on mom life and kind of making light of the situation when in reality this is just hard. If I can give someone vital information that actually helps and shifts dynamics within their home as well as give them a laugh and enjoy it along the way on my end I’m all for it.

Jen: Awesome. So this episode is particularly for those of you listeners and myself who have kids. I could say kids with neurodiverse perspectives, or kids with anxiety, or kids with sensory issues. I mean but in the end I think all kids have some of the stuff that Brooke specializes in. Would you agree, Brooke?

Brooke: Yeah. I was actually going to say. This actually is for every mom and every child because we all demonstrate or our sensory system produces behavior in different ways or manifest behavior in different ways. And it is much more understood for possibly the children that you all have who are listening today, that generation. But for us this was never discussed or explained to us. And so the missing link is that you need to be able to regulate your emotions in order to take care of regulating or helping your child learn how to regulate their own emotions.

Jen: So you’re an occupational therapist. Explain the link between occupational therapy and emotion regulation.

Brooke: Absolutely. So I got my doctorate and went straight into learning and diving deep into pediatrics. And I did that for about 10 years. I was working in the hospital system. And I got burnt out very quickly. However it was an incredible experience for me to learn and grow. And just see honestly everything under the sun and get such a good base. But as a young clinician I said, “This isn’t working. This healthcare structure is not working and I want different.” And I set out to open up my own business with a business partner and we did it differently.

We made sure that the parents were involved in our treatment and educating them on what we were doing as well as making the treatment, what’s called client centered. So basically if your child enjoys karate I’m going to incorporate that into how to reach their goals because that’s motivating to them rather than doing a darned pegboard or stacking blocks one on top of the other. So during that time I also had two preemies of my own. I had that business for about six years. And I learned that I was for sure being stretched too thin.

And I recognized that I wasn’t doing one thing as well as I wanted to. And so that burnout of I should be doing more, I must be doing more. I can be doing more. I have to do more was constantly in my brain and I was never taking care of myself. Lo and behold an opportunity for my former partner came up where it was a move to Texas. I took about a year and a half let’s say to really process the highs and lows of my business. What went right? What went wrong? What I did well, what I could have done better.

And really figure out the missing piece or the connection of why I even felt burnout in that model that I felt in my business. And from me being a stay at home mom that year and a half and taking that time to really reflect I recognized that moms were relying on me. They were coming to me to fix these issues. And they don’t have time to do anything else. And that was the shift for me. And once I made that shift of recognizing that’s why I wasn’t able to truly impact the child is when I started recognizing within my own home how I was showing up as a mom.

My children were old enough and I was able to see some things that I wanted changed. And so I went to the science and I started taking everything that I had learned in school and applying it to my home, being able to help regulate my own children. And then I recognized how I was showing up was that I wasn’t regulated myself. And so I really did a revamp on my own family and how I show up for my children, the connection we have, the inside out. And what I recognized is that moms just don’t – we didn’t learn this information, our generation didn’t.

We grew up in a society and it’s not our parents’ fault, it’s just it is what it is. But obedience and control is what we were taught. And taking into consideration this idea that you might be listening today and thinking, yeah, I have one child who can totally regulate themselves, they’re sitting, or playing, or doing whatever for hours, or reading books. And the other one is climbing up the staircase on the wrong side of the staircase and giving you a heart attack.

And that is them actually naturally giving themselves what they need input wise to be able to regulate their sensory system and their emotions. And because of the society and the world that we live in of sit in a chair for this amount of time for dinner, and sit at a desk for school, and do this, do that.

All these things that we have placed societal norms on, we’re ripping away these children’s, and our parents did it to us, of natural tendencies to be able to regulate ourselves and give ourselves what we need in moments of anxiety, and moments of stress, and moments of excitement, and moments of sadness. And I’ve always wanted to parent from a conscious space. I’ve always wanted to be that ‘conscious parent’. But how do you do that if you yourself don’t know how to regulate yourself?

What ends up happening is you read a book, you hear the information and then you say, “That’s a great idea.” But then you have to force yourself to remember those concepts and force yourself to put them into your daily routine. And what I do is I actually help moms rewire their brain to be able to live this conscious way for themselves. And because they’re living that way they are then able to parent from that space.

Jen: Cool. So when you talk about emotion regulation, I would say most of us know that when we feel stressed we need to breathe or do something calming. Some of us will even numb with Netflix. Or some people will numb with wine or sugar. So I think there are elements of regulation, emotional regulation that we understand. But tell us more about, you mentioned the example of a child climbing on the opposite side of the staircase and doing a dangerous thing. How is that also part of emotion regulation?

Brooke: Absolutely. So I’m going to actually use the example of eating. So when you have a feeling, a feeling comes up for you and there is not only a word behind that feeling like sad, happy, frustrated, this, that. But there is for sure a physical reaction. And sometimes that physical reaction shows up in your body before you can even recognize what feeling or emotion is showing up. And if we’re anxious, or we’re sad, or we’re just feeling any type of, right, a lot of children say, “I’m hungry, I want a snack.”

I hear from so many parents, “Oh my God, get my child to stop snacking. Why can’t he stop snacking? Why can’t he stop snacking?” Well, if we as children think I’m anxious and I feel butterflies in my stomach, a little child who hasn’t been taught that, to verbalize that is going to think to themselves these are butterflies in my tummy, my belly must be hungry. I’m hungry. I’m going to get a snack.

And so moving your jaw, just as simple as that is actually giving your bones, giving your joints deep pressure, movement to be able to release that anxiety inside or to be able to get some of that energy out. And so what do we think? They’re just hungry. And I don’t want my child to go hungry because that’s what we think is normal. That’s societal norms again.

And instead what we can do is give them something like a chewy tube or talk them through and say, “How are you feeling? What is coming up for you? Or how are you feeling? Where are you feeling it in your body? What do you need?” And so we need to be able to start focusing in on seeing how our children are acting and tapping into that and saying, “Something’s going on with them emotionally.” They’re not just climbing the wall just to simply climb the wall, they’re climbing the wall to get their energy out.

They are super excited and jumping from one task, to another task, to another task, to another task without being able to complete the first one because odds are their brain is moving in a million different directions. And they can’t get a grip. And so helping them learn to get grounded and understand what’s going on with their brain and their body, rather than saying, “Stop, you’re driving me nuts.” Which, hey moms, I hear you, I say the same thing and they do drive you nuts.

But it’s a snowball effect because not only are they trying to regulate themselves, you as a mom 95% of the time are living in a state of fight or flight, or living in this go, go, go, go, go mentality. And because you’re living like that you aren’t able to get a grip and be able to regulate yourself. So when your child is driving you crazy you’re going to snap because you haven’t learned how to regulate yourself as well. So it’s a whole cycle.

Jen: So you’re saying that regulation is a child, or a mom’s, or an adult’s attempt to move emotional energy through the body really?

Brooke: Yes.

Jen: I have a story that goes with this. It’s so fascinating. My second child, a boy, for years the teachers would eventually come to us halfway through the years and say, “Have you ever considered ADHD meds?” And so we tried that, it didn’t really help. And a couple of years ago, he’s 17 now, he came to me and he said, “You know, I’ve been thinking and all of that ADHD, you know what I really think it was? Social anxiety.” And I was like, my jaw just dropped. I thought wow.

And then another daughter of mine, my fifth child, a girl who’s 11 now, she used to have these strange behaviors of hiding under tables at events when she was seven years old, or crazy anger. And it took a psychiatrist to mention to me that that’s actually probably a manifestation of anxiety. And again my jaw dropped because we don’t often think of ADHD behaviors, or anger, or shyness as related to anxiety in every case.

So I think your job must be one huge giant detective mystery because you’re figuring out what’s going on, what emotion is happening. And then of course I guess how to help moms help their kids move it through, would that be accurate?

Brooke: Absolutely, yes. And the pieces that, from the neuroscience aspect, one experience in your life triggers the next, and the next, and the next of how we show up. And so when we have been told or taught in our own childhood to obey certain regulations, or show up in a certain way, or swallow our feelings, or been told to stop crying. Crying is a form of sensory regulation as well, to be able to move the anger, or the sadness, or the pain out of your body.

You guys know the feeling or even the calmness you get after having that good cry. That is just as much emotional regulation as going on a run to get out that anger, or going to a kickboxing class just to move. The dopamine, the high that you get after all of those things is because what you’ve done is taken care of your emotions. You’ve taken care of regulating yourself and those emotions. And if you don’t they’re going to stay there.

Jen: Wow, this is great. So emotion regulation behaviors include, you mentioned movement, breathing, crying. I’m curious if for autistic kids flapping, for example, or stimming behaviors. What about talking? What else would you include on the list?

Brooke: Oh my God, the list can go on and on. So let’s go through the different sensory systems. There’s auditory, vestibular, there’s tactile. So you guys think of some of your kids may be really annoyed by certain socks or tags. You may be annoyed by certain clothing. You may not like touching sticky, gooey, hooey things. Your kids may not like that. You may not want to use whipped cream. Everything has a sensory related purpose.

And then auditory, my moms tell me so often and so many people on my page are like, “Oh my God, the noise, the chaos and the noise is driving me crazy.” And that is because it’s auditory.

So when you think of any type of sense that comes in through your body you are going to have a natural reaction to as well as all the emotional feelings that are coming up for you within your life. And so the combination of I am angry, I just got some bad news, or nothing went my way, or I got in a car accident today, or I’m at odds with my partner, or my child’s not listening. Plus there is tons of sirens going on in the background with a fire truck toy, heck yeah, you’re going to lose it.

Jen: That’s so funny. Yeah, I have a particular aversion to shopping malls. And I figured out it’s all the perfume testers.

Brooke: There you go, yeah.

Jen: Wow. No wonder we’re all stressed out, what the heck.

Brooke: You see how you’re like wow, oh my gosh, this is all clicking. This is why I do what I do. This is why I push forward in my career and my platform is because moms, and frankly, our generation and our parents’ generation, those generations before did not or do not understand this piece of how to take care of yourself and your body. Because we are so focused on perfectionism and external validation from our partners, and being the perfect caregiver. And what I should do versus what I must do in this life.

And I should do this, I should do that and you guys have been there. And it led me to feeling completely burnt out and not enjoying my family, not enjoying my kids and a life that I worked so incredibly hard to create. And so what’s the point? What’s the point if you decide to go build your dream home, or to go have the vacation of your dreams, but the whole time you’re like that was miserable for me, what is the point?

And if you can’t regulate yourself or you don’t know how to, I’d love to chat. I mean go to my page, this is exactly what I do for everyone to be able to understand this information so that you can simply enjoy your motherhood because it does go by fast.

Jen: So the state of being emotionally regulated, what does it resemble, happiness, contentment, peace, all those high vibe emotions then, that’s emotional regulation?

Brooke: Yes, absolutely. So you think of it in like – and I said it earlier, fight or flight. In fight or flight you’re running away from a bear because you’re afraid the bear is going to get you. And what happens in those moments, and most moms live in fight or flight because we’re so burned out and just go, go, going. And when you’re in a state of fight or flight your brain is shut down. Your frontal lobe is completely shut down. So the logic side of you, it’s not going to happen. So you’re going to snap at your kids.

You’re going to do things that you wish you didn’t do. And what ends up happening is you apologize to your kids. You say, “Mommy shouldn’t have done that, mommy should have done this.” You get in your bed that night, you cry, you shame, you guilt yourself and you say, “This is me, I can do better. I should be better. I can do more.” Instead of saying, “Wow, I’m living in fight or flight and I’ve got to get off this train.” Like that rest and digest, I’ve got to get down. I’ve got to figure out how to regulate myself and calm my body down.

But instead what we do is we guilt and shame our self, we go to bed and we wake-up the next morning and we say, “Okay, I’m going to do better, here I go. I’ve got this. I should be able do better. This is my fault.” But what that is doing is conditioning your brain to remind yourself and remember and tell your brain, “This is me. This is my fault. I am doing this wrong. It’s me. It’s me. It’s me.” Instead of saying, “Okay, something’s got to change here.”

Jen: Yeah. So when you said you help moms rewire this fight or flight response in 62 days, what does that really mean? What are we rewiring? Say that 20 times fast, rewiring, yeah.

Brooke: Yeah. So just like I just mentioned, if you have that cycle of I snapped at my kids, I tell them I’m sorry. I guilt and shame myself that night. I cry. It’s all my fault. I can do better. And you actively tell yourself those things, that is doing the wiring, and conditioning, and reminding yourself this is who I am. This is the belief system that I have. And so what I do is I take my mom to a burned out, exhausted, depleted, sick of living this life and wanting to enjoy their motherhood, and wanting their kids to enjoy this time in their life.

And we start from the basics. We see what kind of conditioning took place within their own childhood and maybe what moved them through this space into now. And so after we figure out what was going on in our past then we look to where we are now. And what I help them do is understand my process of how to emotionally regulate yourself in the most frustrating of times. And that’s: how do I feel? Where is it coming up for me in my body? What do I need to be able to regulate? Maybe you need a hug. Maybe you need to get out of the house. Maybe you need a run, whatever that is.

And then how do you go get it, and when? And how do you request, not ask permission, but how do you request those needs? And so hearing this right now on a podcast you’re like, “Wow, that’s how I can regulate.” But it takes time because I move them through the process very slowly in a matter of about four months to be able to help them through that, how am I feeling, how am I feeling, how am I feeling. Because a lot of us don’t want to admit I’m sad. We get stuck in all the chaos of well, he said this, and she did that.

So we do each part and we build on top of each other. And because my program is four months I’m able to help moms work on triggers that happen outside of our sessions. So I do video Zooms with them once a week. And I also do audio texting so that in the moments when they are triggered and something is coming up we can walk through the process. And that is practicing again rewiring that brain over, and over, and over, and over. And what happens, because of the amount of practice we get, they are releasing all those conditional beliefs little by little.

They’re letting all of them go because the new ones are being brought in over, and over, and over, and over. To the point where by the time I’m done with them they don’t even – the old stuff doesn’t even exist basically anymore. Just you could consider it as the old me versus the new me because I’ve helped you literally wire the patterns and belief systems in your brain to be able to say, “I know what to do for myself right now. I know how to do this. And I’m going to be okay and I’m safe.”

Jen: That’s so cool. I call that feel it to heal it where you decide what you’re feeling, where is it in your body? And allow it. And so many of us were raised to think some emotions are bad like you shouldn’t feel angry. Don’t feel sad too long. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. So I love how millennials in particular and even Generation Z, they’re so good at accepting and allowing all of their emotions. And it’s beautiful. And we make fun of it a lot of us who are Gen X or Boomers. We’re not Boomers, but you know.

They make fun of it but I think it’s beautiful, and in the right direction with work like that and work like yours. It’s amazing.

Brooke: Yeah, I agree.

Jen: So tell us a story of a client, what she moved from and where she was able to go by being able to talk about and identify emotions and allow them to move through?

Brooke: I know a client I’ll tell you about. One of my clients came to me and she was basically living in a state of fight or flight non-stop. She was exhausted, burnt out, completely miserable with her parenting and the dynamic even with her partner. And she just knew something had to change. And so we did the entire program and we were able to nail it down that her fight or flight timeframes were lasting her months at a time, of living in that state of constant chaos.

And by the time we were done she was able to be able to recognize when something triggered her, not to boost her up into fight or flight within an hour or two of it happening. And she’d say, “Okay, I know where I am at. I get it now.” And then she would say, “How do I feel? What do I need?” And then even if she couldn’t get it or give it to herself right in that moment she was literally able to move through that process in about 24 hours and even less now. I still speak with her and she’s able to get it down to about a few hours of okay, I know what’s going on. I know what’s going on.

Jen: Yeah, that’s cool.

Brooke: So it’s really cool. The thing is, is that in the beginning you don’t even have awareness. You don’t even have awareness that you’re living in this state constantly. And when you start to tap in and you start to check-in with your emotions and really do the work, and stay in constant communication and be like, “This is where I’m at. Brooke, this is where I’m at.” And we’re able to move through it you begin to see and recognize patterns. And that is the ability to really tap into yourself and say, “Okay, where am I? And what do I need?”

So that like I said, in every moment you can really take care of yourself. And she’s so much happier with her connection with her children. She had such shame and such guilt for even taking some time for self-care and doing something for her. And now she sees that if she doesn’t it just makes everything fall apart. They’re just surviving.

And now she is thriving and enjoying her children and her relationship with her partner is astronomically different. And they are enjoying each other more and they are enjoying each other’s company. They’re not taking things out on each other as much anymore, becoming resentful towards each other. As well as their intimate connection and their intimate relationship is much stronger than it has been in years and I would call that a win.

Jen: That’s a great story. I love that. You mentioned resentment, is resentment an indicator we need to emotionally regulate, every negative emotion in fact?

Brooke: Well, that’s a really good question. What I would say to that is resentment causes emotions, angry, resentful, frustrated, sad, pissed off, whatever it is for you. And that then turns into built up stress and anxiety within your body.

I’ll tell you a personal story from me. In my old mom days, I told you the new mom, the new me versus the old and with my clients as well. I would completely guilt myself into ever doing something for myself. And that included taking some time or going to the grocery the time that was best for me.

And so what I would do is I would on the weekends during my children’s nap time I would have my partner be at home and I would go to the grocery. And the whole time I would be rushing and hurrying because I felt so bad that I left him with the kids, and I even left him during nap time to make it easier. And I wasn’t even enjoying a podcast or music or anything. I was just rushing to get through to help and get back. And that was pressure that I was completely placing on myself. I did that to me. And taking responsibility is so important to say, “Wow, he didn’t place that on me.”

Because what we do is we place that pressure and then we feel resentment towards our partners. I totally felt resentment of dude, I just made this super easy for you. But that was my choice. That was something I chose to do, instead of saying, “Hey, I need to go to the grocery.” You’re a partnership and so owning our needs is something women and caretakers have a very, very hard time allowing for themselves. And we move through a lot of those triggers because it’s not your partner’s fault. In that instance especially, it had nothing to do with him. I did that on my own to myself.

And being able to release that, and recognize that, and take ownership of that allowed me to also release the resentment I had in that moment or in that space with my partner.

Jen: Yeah. Ownership is huge, huge, so, yes, your point that we need to prioritize our own self-regulation, managing our emotions, or feelings, or thoughts, huge. Tell us more about how this can help us help our kids with the same things when our kids have anxiety. or depression, or worry, or overwhelm?

Brooke: Yeah. So I loved that you shared about your own kiddos to them having some different things come up. And it really was manifesting in different ways. But at the end of the day it was anxiety. And I would have to say that nine times out of ten a lot of what is going on with your children right now in this moment has to do with anxiety, unmet needs, feeling unseen, not being able to express themselves and not knowing how.

And a lot of times we think of, for instance I talk a lot about, I have an IGTV on the difference between tantrums and meltdowns on my page, and tantrums is they know exactly what they want. They are pushing the limits. They’re pushing the boundaries. They know exactly the outcome that they are trying to get.

But a meltdown is completely different. A meltdown is they have no idea what they want. They are just completely dysregulated, even if you ask, “Are you happy? Are you sad?” They have no freaking idea. And to be able to us have the awareness that we know what we need for ourselves as humans now, as individuals. But at what point does someone hand you a golden ticket and say, “Congratulations, you are now an adult. You should no longer have meltdowns and tantrums.” That just doesn’t exist.

Jen: Yes, it’s true.

Brooke: But all of a sudden we’re supposed to have all of our s.h.i.t. together and be like, “We’re totally fine. This is totally fine. No big deal, this is totally fine.” It just doesn’t work like that. We have meltdowns and tantrums, too, as adults. But if you can understand what you need in those moments you will then be able to understand how to teach your child to speak up for what they need via, “Hey, how are you feeling right now? Wow, thank you for sharing that. I hear you’re really sad. Yeah. Where do you feel that in your body?”

If they’re not old enough you can help give them examples of, “Do you feel that in your toes, or your nose?” You can make it a fun conversation.

Jen: Yeah, that’s huge.

Brooke: And that way you’re giving them the independence to be able to say, “Mommy, I’m mad. My belly is all tingling inside and I need a hug.” Or when they’re on the playground and there’s a bully, they can go up to the bully and say, “Hey, yo, that didn’t feel good. I’ve got all kinds of feelings up in there and what I need is for you to walk away.” No, thank you. Instead of internalizing everything that that bully says about your child.

We’re empowering these children to be able to have emotional intelligence and to be able to take care of themselves and release some of the codependency that is so often built within a mom child relationship.

Jen: Yeah. So there you go ladies listening. We have to do it for ourselves first. This is the ultimate argument for self-care. True self-care is really holding that space to process emotions. I really believe that.

Brooke: Absolutely.

Jen: And so you’re taking it to the next level, Brooke. This is awesome work.

Brooke: Thank you. Absolutely.

Jen: If any of our listeners want to learn more about what you’re saying with emotional regulation and doing that work for yourselves and then for your kids, where should they go?

Brooke: I would say first and foremost go to my Instagram page, check out my IGTVs. That’s where I give a lot of information. You can fill out the application to work with me, it’s right on my Instagram page or you can go to my website. I love connecting with women. And it doesn’t mean you have to be working with me to reach out and start a conversation. So I would love any and all of you to join me and learn a little along the way, and have some laughs.

Jen: Yeah. You’re great at that. That’s fun.

Brooke: Thank you.

Jen: Also everyone you just have to go check out Brooke’s hair, it’s like – I told her, it’s like one in a 1,000 hair, one in a 1,000.

Brooke: Thank you. Thank you.

Jen: I’m so shallow. I’m so shallow, but still it is good hair.

Brooke: Amazing. Thank you.

Jen: Well, thank you Brooke, for being on the show. It has been super enlightening. And thanks for doing the work you do to empower women and their kids.

Brooke: Absolutely, any time.

Kind of cool, huh? I know if you’re anything like me you’re going to be walking around and as soon as you see some misbehavior in an adult or a child you’re going to say, “They need to emotionally regulate. How can I help that process?” Okay, maybe it won’t look that beautiful but it is helpful to think and to potentially use this lens of everyone’s really behaving the best they can and if they’re not they probably have an emotion that needs moving.

And if you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time you know that we can all hold space for each other asking those powerful questions like, “What are you feeling? What’s the name of that feeling? Where are you feeling it in your body? What does that feeling want you to know?” These need to become mainstream skills for ourselves as adults and for our kids and especially a part of mainstream parenting to make emotional processing the norm.

And if we do that however people are behaving with their movements, their sounds, their bodies we can say, “Hey, it’s all emotional regulation it’s okay. We don’t have to be robots. We’re all the same and ‘normal’”, anymore. This is particularly helpful for me with my family. We do have behaviors, and diagnoses, and all the things. And what if I just drop all of that, what if we all drop some of those diagnoses, and just say, “Hey, it’s all good, this is how they need to move and live to feel good inside?” Done.

Wouldn’t that level of acceptance be beautiful in our families, in our schools? And we can all be a part of helping to change that. So, I enjoyed this. I hope you did too. Go follow Brooke, she’s lots of fun on her social media. And I will be back again next week. If you want to email me and share your thoughts about this podcast I would love to hear from you. I’m looking for your feedback, in fact. I love your positive thoughts, your suggestions and you can email those to me at support@jenriday.com.

My friends I love you. You’ve got this. Take whatever stands out to you in each of these episodes and apply a little thing here and a little thing there. And just like experimental cooking you might come out with something beautiful in the end. In fact I know you will with practice. Thanks for listening and I’ll see you again next time. Take care.

If you enjoy this podcast, you have to check out the Vibrant Happy Women Club. It’s my monthly group coaching program where we take all this material to the next level and to get you the results that will blow your mind. Join me in the Vibrant Happy Women Club at jenriday.com/join.

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