338: Manifesting Your Highest Self (with Efia Sulter)
We often think that owning this or doing that would give us the feelings we want in our lives, but sometimes, it is simpler to generate those feelings that we could imagine. So this week’s guest and I are showing you how to get clear on what you really want in terms of how it feels and using this to manifest your best and highest self.
Efia Sulter is a Mindset and Manifestation Coach, host of The Manifest Edit Podcast, and creator of the V.I.B.E.S method for aligned manifestation. Her mission is to empower and teach ambitious women how to stop playing small and access their innate magic so they can expand their current reality. She joins me this week to talk about manifesting your highest self and show you how to create a soul-aligned life by design.
Listen in this week as we discuss how feelings and energy drive what we have in our lives, and how to use start manifesting intentionally to become the person you want to be. Efia shares her 5-step V.I.B.E.S manifestation method and shows you how to use it to start manifesting your highest self.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to give yourself space to process your thoughts and how doing so can impact your relationships.
- What subconscious manifestation is and how it could be driving the results in your life.
- How the programs and stories running in the background could be holding you back from the success you want.
- A key component of manifesting the life you desire.
- How to use manifesting in terms of weight, health, money, and abundance.
- Why you are the only one that has the resources and ability to change your situation.
- How Efia serves as a practical example of her work.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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- Follow Efia Sulter: Website | Instagram | Podcast | Freebie
- Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
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- Learn more about the Vibrant Happy Women Coach Certification!
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Full Episode Transcript:
You’re listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast. In this episode we’re talking about manifesting your highest best self. Stay tuned.
Hi, I'm Jen Riday. This podcast is for women who want to feel more vibrant, happy, aligned, and alive. You'll gain the emotional, physical, and spiritual tools you need to get your sparkle back and ensure that depression, anxiety, and struggle don't rule your life. Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women Podcast.
Hey, my friends, welcome back to Vibrant Happy Women. I’m Jen Riday, your host. How are you? On this episode we’re going to be talking about what we want but not in terms of possessions but in terms of how we feel, how we show up. We all talk about things we want. I want a new car. I want a million dollars, I want to renovate my house. I want one of those really comfy sleep pillows that will just cradle my head perfectly. We know what we want. We know even more clearly a lot of times what we don’t want.
I don’t want to fight. I don’t want my kids talking back. I don’t want my tire on my car to be flat. I don’t want to back out of my driveway and hit my cleaning lady, guilty as charged. I didn’t hit the lady, sorry, I did not her, I hit her car, my apologies, and she wasn’t in it. But I felt so dumb. Who expects a car to be in your driveway? Anyway, we know what we don’t want. We know what we do want sometimes.
Expanding that, getting clear on how do we want to feel, how do we want to show up is actually a key part of manifesting. And how do I know this? Well, my guest today, Efia Sulter talks about the VIBES method of manifesting. And it’s unique and it feels resonant. It feels aligned and aspects of it feel very true to me. I can’t wait to experiment more with this. But she’ll share what VIBES stands for, it’s five letters that stands for various aspects of manifesting or using the law of attraction to feel the way you want to feel.
Now, before we dive in with Efia, I just want to share in general, I’ve really started to get clear on what I really am after when I talk about what I want, like a new pickleball paddle, is the feeling I get as a result of having that thing. I love the feeling of being able to hit the ball deep into my opponent’s court and it’s tricky for them to return the serve or whatever. But I love the feeling of winning. I love that feeling so of course I need this amazing racket that does help me have more control over the ball.
As we go deeper into understanding how the things we want make us feel, things make a lot of sense. Well, in this interview with Efia, instead of saying, “I want a million dollars, or I want to be rich.” What if you said, “I want to be a philanthropist.” There’s so much more meaning and feeling behind that. I want to be generous. I want to create spaces for children who are disadvantaged. I want to whatever it is, suddenly you can feel an energy behind that. How you will feel as you are being this person you want to be.
It's not about the stuff so much as this energy. So, we’re going to be talking about that in this interview. I am super excited. Go into this with an open mind and really tuck away and think about that question, how do you want to feel? For me I’m not so interested in accumulating stuff. What I want to feel currently is free, liberated, uncluttered, hence my very strong interest in this kind of backpacking and putting everything I own in a backpack, a small backpack, being able to be light and travel, and move and connect with people.
Why do I want this? I want to be able to be completely focused on other people to share energy, to connect, to love them, to listen to them, to hold space. I’m really into that energy right now, and not having to put attention towards stuff, and things, and maintaining, just freedom. So why do you want what you want and how is it going to make you feel? That’s the intention we’ll go into this interview with together so let’s dive in.
Jen: Hey, my friends, I have a fantastic guest with us today, Efia Sulter. She is a mindset and manifestation coach, host of The Manifest Edit podcast and creator of the VIBES method for Aligned Manifestation. We’re going to learn about that. Her mission is to empower and teach ambitious women how to stop playing small and how to access their internal magic so they can expand their current reality.
She’s extremely passionate about helping women create their own permission slips, I love that, for the extraordinary lives they want to live and the gifts they deeply desire to share with the world. Serving as a practical example of her work after being orphaned at 14, grappling with mental illness and chronic pain to then moving overseas and building her soul aligned life and business, Efia has inspired thousands around the world to create their lives by design. I love this, what a great bio. Welcome to the show, Efia.
Efia: Hello and thank you for having me.
Jen: Okay. So, when you say moving around the world, what does that really mean? Where did you start and where are you now?
Efia: So, I grew up in Scotland and now I am literally the other side of the world living in Melbourne, Australia.
Jen: Okay. Now, I didn’t hear a Scottish accent but not that I should be able to place accents. But I think I hear some Australian accent, have you kind of picked it up there?
Efia: Yeah. Well, I’ve been here, I initially planned to move over here for a year after I finished my master’s. And I was like, “You know what? I deserve a break from studying.” Because in Scotland your first degree is four years and the master is one year, so five years. And I was like, “I need a break.” And I was like, “I’m going to come over to Australia for a year and then just give myself some time to chill. See what my soul wants to do.” And then six years later I have not left.
So yeah, a lot of people have said that I do have a bit of an Australian twang. My Scottish friends can hear the Scottish but the people who haven’t met me, don’t know where I’m from. No one can really place my accent.
Jen: I love it. And for our listeners, tell them what Efia means, I think it’s such a beautiful name.
Efia: Yeah, so Efia is a Ghanaian name which means born on a Friday. And my sister is called Ama which is born on a Saturday. So, weekend babies.
Jen: That is beautiful, Efia and Ama, okay. Well, so tell us your story, that’s dramatic, being orphaned at 14. It sounds super dramatic. It’s not a phrase or a circumstance a lot of people would have in their story. And tell us how that happened and how it kind of was part of your journey to where you are today.
Efia: So, my story really begins actually when I was a lot younger because I was in the care system until I was aged three. And at that point I was adopted along with my sister. And we lived with my adoptive mom until I was 14, my sister was 15. And at that point my mom had been struggling with a long term illness over the past four years have been really declining and unfortunately passed away.
And because she was a single parent, a single adoptive parent, that also meant that we were faced with going back into the care system after she passed away. So, it wasn’t just the devastation, and grief, and loss of losing a parent but also my entire world could completely change.
Jen: That’s heavy. So, what happened, did you go back into the care system?
Efia: At that point in time, I didn’t really know who to talk to about what I was going through. It didn’t really feel like a conversation that I could have with my friends and obviously all the same age as me and what advice are they going to give? And also, it’s like, so far from any of their realities. So, I think it was actually maybe the same day or the day after that my mom passed away, I actually phoned one of my friends mom’s and I was like, “I don’t really know what to do in this situation.” And she came over and was just like, “Don’t worry about anything. I just don’t want you to worry about anything.”
And at that point I think my mom actually adopted another kid as well, so we have a little brother. And we thought that we would live with my gran. But my gran was 86 at that point and obviously the social work system are not going to place you with someone who’s that old. No offence, gran, rest in peace. But she was too old to be raising three children. And essentially my friend’s mom ended up moving into our house and my sister and I lived with my friend’s mom until we went to uni.
Jen: Did your friend move in with you too or did she stay in her original home?
Efia: No, he moved in as well. So, my friend’s mom had two kids and because our house was bigger, they moved into our house rather than us move into theirs, yeah.
Jen: Nice. A family of five kids and one mom, I love it, that’s awesome. What a nice thing to do. Well, cool. So, you are a manifesting expert. You teach the VIBES method, so give us a definition of manifesting for those who are unaware. And then tell us, what is the VIBES method?
Efia: Manifestation is actually something that we are all doing all the time. And a lot of people mistakenly attribute it to I need to start manifesting, I need to start doing this. When in reality I like to talk about specifically conscious manifestation because we’re bringing a conscious awareness to a practice that for many people is probably subconscious. So, you can think about manifestation as the process of making something real, bringing it into your reality.
So, if you’re just thinking in your head right now, I want an ice-cream, you haven’t manifested that ice-cream because it’s not in your physical reality. Everything that happens in between to you getting the money, to you believing it’s possible for me to go to the shop and buy an ice-cream today, to having it in your hand. Everything in between that counts as manifestation to that’s the action, that’s the belief work, that’s the thought process, that’s whatever spiritual tools you use, that’s physical actual money that you’re using.
Because it is happening in real life, manifestation isn’t magical, though it can feel like a very magical process. It’s not creating something from nothing because everything already exists. It’s just about bringing that into our reality and using our awareness to shape the reality that we’re living. And then the second part of that is manifestation is largely a subconscious process. Most of the things that we’ve manifested in our life up until this point are a product of our subconscious beliefs, thoughts, and actions.
And so, manifestation isn’t just about the future that you want to create going forward. But it’s like what subconscious programs, and strategies, and stories are currently running in the background. And are these actually conducive to my success?
Jen: So, what’s an example of that? You had this life where tough things happened, you were orphaned, you had been in the care system, you developed mental illness. I think a lot of us have stories that are similar with tough times in our lives. Are you saying that, manifest that or not necessarily? I mean just to get really clear.
Efia: I think there’s a difference between saying that you manifested something and blaming someone for something. So, I’m not saying if bad things happened in your life, that’s your fault, you brought this on yourself. But I’m saying that we are involved in our life’s experiences, and we also choose how we define our experiences, and we choose how we move on from those experiences.
And whether or not you have been in the situation where someone may have treated you badly, or something tragic happened in your life, I’m not responsible for the thigs that happen to me. But I’m responsible for myself. And I’m the only one who has the resources and ability to change my situation. And it doesn’t matter ‘how bad’ that situation has been, and you are the only one who can actually change your reality. And that can suck to hear especially if you have been through some challenging times.
And I don’t want to put this on anyone into something that you’re then internalizing and making you feel bad about yourself because that’s definitely not what we want to get to. But what I want to say is that as long as we’re placing blame outside of us, that means something outside of us is the only thing that can change our situation. So, in taking responsibility what we’re actually doing is recognizing our own power to change our situation.
And I’m not necessarily saying that that is going to be easy. And most of us have trauma, lived experiences in our background that can actually make that very challenging. But also, I think there’s something very beautiful about witnessing that power and witnessing that resilience inside of that.
Jen: Okay. So, taking 100% responsibility for whatever outcomes we have here on forward even if tough things happen, which they do for us all, deciding to move forward. So, let’s say for example someone listening is in a tough marriage, how do they apply the principles of manifesting? Do they go? Do they stay? Do they imagine their spouse getting better? Do they imagine a better spouse? How do we do this practically speaking in our day-to-day lives like this?
Efia: Especially when it comes to relationships the immediate go to can be changing the other person. But ultimately we have to begin with ourselves. We can’t make anyone change. We can’t make anyone do something that they don’t want to do. So, if you’re in a relationship of any kind, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a platonic relationship or even a work relationship, the first thing to look at is how you feel inside of that. And realize what is the story about this? Is this actually true? Is the way that I’m feeling, is it a good feeling?
And then we can go from there in that my next stage wouldn’t be automatically getting rid of someone unless you’re in an immediately toxic situation you need to leave. And even then you need to have safety precautions in place. It’s not sustainable for everyone just to be completely quantum leap, change your reality overnight because that’s not necessarily safe.
But what I would say is if it is possible when you’re in a situation where you can communicate with that person, it becomes a much easier conversation when you actually know, and you’ve done that self-awareness piece of how am I feeling? What is actually wrong in this situation? How do I want the situation to actually be? When you’ve actually worked out all those things before, just jumping into a conversation with someone and saying, “You make me feel this way”, or, “This is happening.”
Giving yourself the space to process your own thoughts puts you in a much better position to then go to the table and see about working things out inside of that relationship. And then if things aren’t going to change, if things are staying the same then you have to make a decision on whether you do want to stay or whether you do want to leave. And either way there is no right or wrong decision in that situation. And I think even if we are talking about toxic relationships and people staying in those relationships and they’re like, “Why didn’t I just leave? Why didn’t I just go?”
It's not that you’re to blame or that there’s anything wrong or you made the wrong choice. You made the choice that you thought was best at the time and we have to, in addition to having self-awareness, we take responsibility, but we also have self-compassion to ourselves in the process as well.
Jen: Well said, yeah. Now, another common life issue people talk about is, we’ll go first with weight and then money. How do we use manifesting in terms of weight and health and then in terms of money and abundance?
Efia: The way I teach manifestation is centered around a five step manifestation method. And I actually created this method after my own experience with manifesting were at the point I’d left Scotland to go to Australia, was when I really began diving deeper into my conscious manifestation journey. I created my first vision board. I read my first personal development book which is Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I was like, “This is lifechanging.”
And I had manifested so many incredible things into my reality that a year previous I would just never have even imagined possible. And two years later I actually came to the point where I wanted to create another vision board. And when I looked back on that after a number of years I realized that none of the things on there had manifested. And what I realized is actually most vision boards are doomed to fail from the way that people approach them.
And this led me to create the VIBES method which I felt was not only adding in missing steps, but it was also taking a very balanced approach to manifestation. I’m not going to turn around to you and say, “High vibes only, positive thinking only”, because that just doesn’t resonate. And we also need to look at how are you regulating your nervous system? How are we working through trauma? And so many other things and little nuances of manifestation that I think can sometimes be lost from the conversation.
And so, whether it’s manifesting a relationship, money, anything, I would tell people to approach it using the VIBES method. And so, what it really looks at is not starting manifestation from okay, this is what I want to have. I want to be skinnier, or I want to feel happier in my body, or I want to put on more weight. But who do I want to be? I want to be someone who feels healthy. I want to be someone who feels strong. I want to be someone who feels like my mindset is unstoppable.
For years I never went to the gym because I said, “I don’t really see the point in going to the gym, my body looks how I want it to look. What’s the point?” And then I realized, well, actually I want to be the kind of person who feels strong. I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t feel out of breath after walking up a set of stairs. I want to be someone who has a lot of mental clarity. Okay, based on who I want to be, my intention now is actually I do want to go to the gym because that is in alignment with the person I want to be.
Jen: Okay, I love that. So, if someone wanted to, you know, they could take an approach of I want to be rich, which everyone I think says at some point in their lives, I want to be generous. I want to be capable of being generous. Is that kind of the idea?
Efia: Yeah, it’s also thinking about the person you want to be and also thinking about what your values are. A lot of people do the reverse of I’m going to set these intentions like I want to have a million dollars, or I want to do this. But you’re not actually correlating it to your values. And that means when things then get challenging or it doesn’t look like things are working, you’re disappointed, you’re frustrated, it’s much easier to fall off then this relates to my values of being a philanthropist and being generous with my money.
So, when you’re tied to those values it’s actually a much stronger core that’s relating you to these goals rather than just some arbitrary, this would be nice, this would be cute.
Jen: Yeah, that’s a great idea, I really like this. So, V in VIBES stands for values?
Efia: It stands for embodying the vibe of your higher self. And then inside of that it’s looking at your higher self as a truest self, so not someone outside of you that you need to be bettering, you need to be more. But actually, how do I return to the truth of who I am? And part of the way you do that is by identifying what your values are.
Jen: Wow, okay. So, V is for vibe and then what about the other letters in VIBES?
Efia: I is for setting powerful and heartfelt intentions. So, I think something that I saw especially when I first began coaching people was a lot of half assed intentions and as a result of that half assed results. So, setting powerful and heartfelt intentions is actually something that can be very easily overlooked because it’s like, “Well, I’ve said what I want to get, this is enough.” We have to look at actually the way that we are saying these intentions. And are they intentions that you’re setting empowering you? Or are they making you feel worse?
Think about the difference between you saying, “I want to be not overweight anymore, or I want to be not at this”, whatever number on the scale you are to, “I want to be feeling this kind of way.” We’re moving towards the things we actually want rather than the way of the things we don’t want. Because when your intentions are continually set away from this place, you’re looking over your shoulder the entire time rather than looking forward.
Imagine going out for a walk and the whole time you’re glancing behind you, bringing that kind of anxious nervous energy to what should be a relaxing experience and manifestation is exactly the same.
Jen: Okay, good. So heartfelt intentions, and then the B?
Efia: The B is energetic blocks and boundaries. So, this can look at limiting beliefs, lived experience, trauma, and anything that after you said, “This is who I am, this is what I want.” And then you go out into the world and everything’s just like no, never going to happen, not for you, you don’t deserve it, you’re not worthy, all of those thoughts that then come in and bombard you. It’s like looking at the story you have about why you couldn’t or shouldn’t have it or be that person. And working to peel back the layers.
Something I will say is yes, to a degree it’s important to know why some things are the way they are. But we don’t want to live in the place of why, why, why about everything and just getting so wrapped up in the past that you’re not actually able to move forward. So, in some cases the what you’re going to do next is actually more important than the why, but it can be useful to see, the reason that I have this belief, it was never even mine to begin with. This is just something that I picked up along the way.
And if this is just something that I picked up along the way then I don’t actually need to hold onto it any longer. And then on the other side of that we’re looking at boundaries which is where are your time, your energy and your resources going at the moment? Because if it’s all being leached away to people, places, experiences that don’t serve you, how are you going to have the energy, resources etc., for all the things you actually want to bring into your reality? So, energy management, it’s hugely, hugely important.
Jen: Okay. Very, very good. And then the E and the S?
Efia: So, the E is balancing feminine and masculine energy and whether you are male, female, non-binary, whichever gender you are, we all have these masculine and feminine energies within us. And it’s about the way that you take action. So, the feminine is more intuitive and about the flow, and the masculine is more detail oriented, strategic. And that’s why I like to say that I take a spiritual and strategic approach to manifestation because it's using the two.
And it’s not that one is better than the other, it’s not masculine energy is better than the feminine energy because it’s more of a doing process, or feminine energy is better because you’re more connected to your higher self. It’s actually very different from person to person. And in my life I used to work primarily in my masculine energy because that’s what all the people I was seeing talking about entrepreneurship were talking about it in a very masculine way, hustle mode, sleep when you’re dead, just go, go, go.
I was like, “Okay, well, if I want to be successful I need to listen to these bros, and this is what I need to do.” And it just did not work out for me. I was severely, severely burnt out and overworked. And actually, if you experience burnout, that’s something that can take you years to recover from. That’s something that your nervous system is still in that fight or flight mode and you’re continually working with yourself to be like, no, it’s okay just to ground and be present.
So, for me personally, I am someone who is much more a feminine energy base, I wake up in the morning and I’ll have an hour and a half morning routine. I’m chilling before I start work because I know that means I’m going to be way more productive than when I come into it rather than got to get that extra hour of work in. Before also I used to do eight hour working days because, well, that’s just the way that we work. Whereas now I realize that actually the way my brain works is I like to do things in a short space of time.
I would much rather work for four hours, I’m not looking at my phone, I’m just getting stuff done rather than spreading it out across the eight hours a day because I think that’s what I’m supposed to do. So really when we’re looking at balancing your feminine and masculine energy, we’re looking at are you acting the way that you think you should act, that you’re supposed to act, doing the things you think you’re supposed to do? Or you acting in a way that is actually in alignment for you?
One last thing on this is I will say acting in a way that’s in alignment for you isn’t always going to feel like, well, because I’m acting in a way that’s in alignment for me it feels so easy all the time. Because sometimes you’ll be asked to make challenging decisions in the moment that are going to lead to long term gain rather than doing the thing that feels easiest in the moment for that short term satisfaction.
Jen: Okay. So, it doesn’t always feel easy. That’s important, yeah.
Efia: Yes. Although some things can be simple, they’re not necessarily easy. And then lastly S is surrendering, surrendering the how. And I used to believe that surrender was like, okay, I believe no matter what, everything is happening as planned, everything is going to happen, everything is going to be fine. No, that’s not what surrender is. Surrender is regardless of the outcome I will be okay. I will stay winning whether things happen exactly on time as I expected them to happen or whether it is a dumpster fire for my perception.
Regardless through it all I’m going to be fine. And it’s about building that sense of trust and faith in both yourself and also the universe, God, spirit, higher self, whatever you like to combine with your practices. And so, all of these things are not necessarily like, okay, I wake-up today and I go through step V, then I do I, and then I do B, and then I do E and S. It’s actually a way of living your life. Because once you know what your values are, you don’t need to ask yourself every day. What are my values? What are my values?
Of course, over time they’re going to change but it’s something that you’re going to be doing less frequently than checking in with, okay, what are my intentions for this month, what are my intentions for this week? What are my intentions for today? So, it’s a very intuitive process that really can be adapted to the way that you work best.
Jen: Wow. Is there a place where we can go to kind of review this? Because it kind of filled my mind with lots of good things but I want to think about it at a deeper level. Do you have a website, or a blog, or a book?
Efia: Yes, I do, on my website, efiasulter.com and I also have a couple of freebies that you can check out at efiasulter.com/freebie where I talk about some of the things that we’ve run into today in more depth like subconscious manifestation and how those two parts of your mind work to bring these things into reality. And if specifically, you’re interested in learning more about the VIBES method then this is something that I teach in my programs as well, how to integrate it into your life. Because it’s one thing to know something but it’s another thing to live something.
Jen: There are so many times I think I know something and then it clicks at a deeper level. So, I think you’re right on the money. So, with the VIBES method, where should they go if they want to learn more about your programs?
Efia: So, if you want to learn more about my programs, something great that you can do is just DM me on Instagram because I do have a few different offerings. And based on where you’re at in your journey, what you’re currently struggling with, the way that you most like to be supported in an environment, that’s something that I can help you with. So, feel free to just DM me on Instagram which is just my full name and underscore. Or you can head to my website and look around at all the programs and courses on there.
Jen: I love to ask kind of some deep questions, and would it be okay if I ask you a few of those?
Efia: Of course.
Jen: Kind of a new addition to my podcast. Okay, so, Efia, what recharges you?
Efia: Well, I mean the boring answer would be sleep because I really, really love sleep. And not just sleep, but sleeping in my desired sleeping pattern which is about 10:00/10:30 to 7:00/8:00 in the morning. When I sleep like that, that’s when I feel the most recharged. And if I’m being honest I haven’t slept like that for a little bit. I’ve just come back from overseas and my sleeping pattern is all over the place.
But secondly what recharges me is I’m very much an extroverted person, so spending time around other people and being in their energy really, really energizes me and makes my soul feel full.
Jen: Okay, so being with friends and other people. What about, here’s an interesting one, who are you and how do you show up in life?
Efia: I think who I am is constantly evolving and changing. But I feel like at my core I’m someone who is living really truthfully. I feel like I’m living a really truthful life. And I also feel like I’m living a really playful and magical life as well which is something that for a long time didn’t really feel that accessible to me and especially due to my childhood trauma and the way that I grew up. I had to relearn a lot of things like how to be vulnerable, how to let myself have fun, how to let myself explore, to let myself fail.
And as is with things, these are a lot of things that you learn with your parents and because my mom was ill, from the age of 10 I did a lot of raising myself. So also, now reparenting myself at an adult age but not from a point of you need to survive, but how can I help you thrive?
Jen: Yeah, wow, beautiful. And what are you distinctly designed and prepared to do in the world?
Efia: When I was growing up and after my mom passed away there was one dominant thought that kept me going which was, I just want to have a normal life. I was like, “I want to have the things that my friends are having. I want to have the experiences they’re having. I want to get by. I want to be able to go to university. I want to grow up and meet someone and have kids. And I just want things to be normal.” And that kept me going. That got me some incredible experiences. It got me really great grades.
And then I hit my early 20s and I was like, I don’t just want to live a normal life. I want to live an extraordinary life. I want to have experiences that 14 year old me would have never ever imagined in her reality. I want to touch people on a really, really deep level. And I want to have experiences that make me cry. And I want to just really experience all that this universe, this lifetime has to offer. And I think every day that I’m doing something that’s moving me closer to that. And I think the number one thing is just allowing myself to be who I am and loving myself through all of it.
Jen: Well said. Okay, one more. This is a big one. You can turn down any question. What do you believe is out there in terms of beyond the Earth if anything?
Efia: Everything. There’s so many things. I love anything, space films, Astrophysicists Guide to the Universe. I’m like, oh my goodness, I think there is so much. And I think it’s, well, I mean I don’t want to say naïve but also a little bit naïve to assume that there’s nothing. It’s also a little it egotistical isn’t it to say no, we’re the only ones? We’re the only ones like this. Really, come on. I mean we’re smart but we’re not that smart.
Jen: There are tons of worlds out there, I’m with you, yeah. And what else? I don’t want to interrupt you. This is fascinating.
Efia: Yeah. And they recently released that picture, that picture of what you’re seeing and there’s tons of stars, galaxies, universe, if you were to hold that up it’s like holding a piece of sand up in front of your vision and that speck that that sand covers was like all that that picture covers. So, there’s so, so much life forms, so much plant forms, so much technology. Everything that we can see and everything we don’t yet have the capacity to conceive exists out there. And I think that can sound terrifying but that can also be really, really exciting and exhilarating too.
Jen: Wow, beautiful. Well, I won’t go any deeper. Thank you for being vulnerable. And thank you for sharing your wisdom. I appreciate it so much, you gave me a lot to think about.
Efia: And thank you so much for having me.
How was that for you? Did you get more clarity on how you want to feel? And often we think owning this or doing that is going to generate that feeling. And sometimes it’s simpler to achieve that feeling than we could ever imagine. For example, there was a time when everyone I knew was taking their kids to Disneyworld and without even questioning why I wanted that, I thought, everyone else is doing this, I need to do this.
But when I got clear on how would I feel at Disney? Well, the same way we often feel at other amusement parks. Stress, chaotic, my family doesn’t handle big crowds and change very well. I realized, okay, I want to spend $10,000 to get my family down to Florida and into Disneyworld so that we can feel most likely miserable, okay, that’s what I don’t want.
What do I want? I want to feel connected, relaxed. I want to cuddle and feel close. Suddenly it dawned on me, I could feel that just as easily doing a quick staycation in our neighborhood or having a movie hour or a movie night at our house. There are so many easy ways to have the feeling we want to feel. So, I love this topic.
I want to invite you to join us in the Vibrant Happy Women Club in the coming month where we’re going to be talking about what do we want to feel in all of the areas of our life? How can we create an abundant overflowing expansive feeling in all the areas of our lives, in our relationships, with our finances, with our health, with our friendships, our parent child interactions, all the things? There’s something beautiful when you surround yourself by other people who are also expanding instead of contracting.
So, join us in the Club, you’ll have access to a weekly soul circle to discuss what you want, why do you want it. How would it feel to have it, to get the clarity on what you really want for your life and what your most abundant life would look like? For me it does not include going to Disneyworld. What is it for you? There is no judgment, there is no right or wrong, you get to decide on what abundance feels like for you.
So, I am grateful you were here today. I hope you’re creating an abundant life in whatever ways feel best for you and getting more and more clear as you move forward on what you really want, especially in terms of how it feels. Feelings and energy are everything that drive what we actually have in our lives. My friends, I love you. I will see you again next time. Until then make it a vibrant, happy, and abundant week. Take care.
If you enjoy this podcast, you have to check out the Vibrant Happy Women Club. It’s my monthly group coaching program where we take all this material to the next level and to get you the results that will blow your mind. Join me in the Vibrant Happy Women Club at jenriday.com/join.
Jen Riday is a mom of 6 and life coach who loves to help women experience massive happiness as they let go of stress, sadness or other chronic emotions of negativity.
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