42: Creating an Alcohol-free Life You Love (with Kate Bee)
Kate Bee grew up in a home that relied on alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress and a means to celebrate everything. Eventually Kate realized she was drinking too much and finding it nearly impossible to stop, but she pressed on and is happily living an alcohol-free lifestyle today and sharing what she has learned with others. Kate shares several great tips that are helpful for overcoming any addiction, including food, such as pushing through fear and the importance of human connection.
Kate Bee is the founder of The Sober School, where she coaches women through early sobriety and helps them navigate alcohol-free living without feeling deprived or miserable. Kate's mission is to remove the stigma, misinformation and fear that surrounds addiction. Kate lives near Manchester in the UK and in her spare time she likes running, reading and drinking too much tea.
Nuggets of Wisdom from Kate:
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
“Feeling fear is good, and anything that is worth doing will bring out fear… Fear is a kind of indicator of what we need to do.”
“Give it a hundred percent. Do not let that fear put you off or hold you back. ”
“I felt so awful that I had wasted all this money going to this expensive boot camp, and to make things worst, for once, none of my friends were drinking because they were actually going dry in January. And so I had to pretend that I was doing it with them, and I think that was the first time I thought, ‘Oh my God, something is really wrong here that I am lying to my closest friends!' So, I think that was a moment that I thought something really has to change.”
“So, it was from writing the blog (read Kate's blog here) and building up some recovery and realizing that I was not the only one, that I started to think. There is really a lack of support in this area, and we need something to change.”
“So, it took me a really long time to realize that actually there were other coping mechanisms out there. And for a little while, I think I transitioned from alcohol to food which you know, is not ideal, is not perfect. I ate way to much ice cream during my first year of sobriety. And now I think I have got it nailed down a bit bitter. I know that I have to exercise like at least every other day. Nothing beats running for being a stress buster and helping you cope with your emotions.”
“You can talk to people and that really helps you deal with what is going on with your life. I used to never talk to people. I used to really keep everything inside. I was not very good at talking about how I was really feeling, so that was like a big learning curve for me.”
“Realizing that something may not be right is really a big step forward. We live in this culture where drinking is so normalized that actually realizing that all is not okay, that is such a great step.”
“If you think you have a problem with alcohol and you think it is holding you back in some way, it is great to take a break from it. Ideally a month, maybe 2 or even 3 months because someone who is a truly a take-it-or-leave-it drinker – who truly has a healthy relationship with alcohol – should be able to leave it for a period of time. And so I definitely recommend experimenting with having a break. It does not have to be forever. And I hate talking about the F word, because it freaks everybody out. Just a short term target is great.”
“The key to sobriety is changing the way you feel about alcohol.”
Some of Kate‘s Favorite Things:
Personal habit: Sleeping better.
Easy meal: “Moroccan dish. Chicken and some spices. And throw in some vegetables, courgettes, peppers, what ever you've got around. Put it into a slow cook and it comes out really nice.”
Possession: “Caffetiere and dishwasher”
Kate's Favorite Books: I Thought It Was Just Me by Brené Brown.
Best advice received: “Success happens when you keep taking action.”
Kate's Happiness Formula:
“Living an alcohol-free lifestyle. Moving my body. Staying fit and well. Connecting with others. Having good friendships and relationships.”
A Challenge from Kate:
“For anyone who feels they are drinking too much or that the alcohol is holding them back in some way, a great challenge would be to start keeping a drink diary. It is really good to get things down on paper or just make a few notes on your phone so you can see what is happening in black and white. You take things out of your head and put it somewhere where you can look at it more objectively. Keep a record of what you are drinking and write down why, what it is you are looking for and how are you feeling at that time.”
The Sober School (Kate's Program that will help you become alcohol free. The next program begins on January 2, 2017).
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Jen Riday is a mom of 6 and life coach who loves to help women experience massive happiness as they let go of stress, sadness or other chronic emotions of negativity.
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