80: Love Your Marriage Again by Learning the Art of Letting Go of Expectations (with Laura Doyle)
Laura Doyle struggled for years in her marriage until she finally learned the art of letting go of expectations. Learn how she did, how it helped her husband like being around her again, and how Laura is happier than she’s ever been in her relationship. You can explore more at www.lauradoyle.org
Nuggets of Wisdom from Laura:
“I stopped trying to control my husband and instead, I focused on my own happiness. And that, in turn improved what he sees. I suffered so much in my marriage. I tried everything I could think of, went to marriage counseling and none of that worked for me. And now I know what actually works to make marriage magical again.”
“Restoring respect in your relationship in one of the intimacy skills. Respect is like oxygen for husbands. That is how important it is to them. And when they feel respected, they feel loved.”
“Intimacy is not just in the bedroom. It is the interactions, the tenders, the funnies, sometimes it’s those interactions you wouldn’t have with anyone else in the whole world. The physical intimacy is the one thing that differentiates the romance from any other relationship you have in the world. Intimacy is when I feel desired. It’s when I feel that he is seeking my company and when he is sharing with me openly because he feels there is emotional safety. That’s when I know the intimacy is high.”
“The only person you can ever control is yourself. And then when I did change, my husband responded to me so differently. It was so much better, like ten times better. For me, it was actually good news.”
“Only happy people can have happy relationships. It’s unspeakably wonderful to feel so loved every single day. It gives me a lot of inner strength and I say that not to brag but just to say: This is what’s possible for all women. Cause all husbands respond so beautifully to being respected and they want to make their wives happy.”
Some of Laura's Favorite Things:
“Most women feel it’s awful until they do it. And that habit is apologizing to my husband when I am disrespectful. I apologize for being disrespectful… I honor my husband’s thinking.
Express your desires in a way that inspires. To let him hear what I wanted instead of complaining. Instead of saying: John, this place is a disaster area! I would say: John, I would love a clean kitchen.”
Favorite kitchen gadget: “My Zester. It adds so much flavor.”
Rachael's Favorite Books:
“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray”
Laura's Happiness Formula:
“Asking myself these two questions. How do I feel? What do I want? Desire is the seat of feminine power. Communicate with everyone around me in a way that’s honoring of me but also showing up as a delight and not a bear. Not a martyr, and not a nag, not a porcupine but someone who can smile because you are all filled up.”
A Challenge from Laura:
“Get Cherished.com 5 days challenge. Everyday for five days, I will send you an email and do an experiment that’s gonna give you an unfair advantage and making your relationship vibrant and easy. If it works for you, keep it.”
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Jen Riday is a mom of 6 and life coach who loves to help women experience massive happiness as they let go of stress, sadness or other chronic emotions of negativity.
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