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92: Teaching Your Kids How to Set Goals and Be Productive (Tonya Dalton)

Have you ever banged your head against the wall (figuratively), wondering how to teach your kids to feel a sense of motivation and ambition? In this episode, Tonya Dalton shares how you can set up a doable, easy family meeting that will teach your kids to set goals, break them down into actionable steps, and provide the accountability your kids need to keep moving forward. As Tonya states, “We want to teach our kids to set goals and be productive so they can fly the next and not come crawling back unable to function on their own.”

Nuggets of Wisdom from Tonya:

“Forever is composed of nows.” – Emily Dickinson
“Taking intentional time for your kids is very meaningful for them.” -Ross Campbell

“Because there is so much hecticness in our lives and so much chaos in our daily lives, it’s really clearing those moments where we can focus on our kids. Even if it’s just a five-minute talk. While you are in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, stop what you are doing, look the kids in the eye and really take them in during the conversation -not as background noise but as the focus of your intentions. We need to recenter ourselves, making sure these moments are meaningful to them and to me.”

“When you ask yourself, what is my purpose? What's the most important step when you are sitting down is you have to look backward so you can then look forward. It would seem counter-intuitive right? But to me, reflection is one of the most important parts of the whole foundation. Look back over the last year. What were the things that you did really well? What were the things that you really enjoyed? What are the things you want to repeat? I want you to look deeper.”

“As women, we give, give, give. We tend to push aside the things that are most important to us. And those are generally our biggest regrets. The things that are really important to us, we tend to push to the bottom of the list.'Oh well, it’s just us, it’s just me. You know, it’s ok. I can give to these people and I can just push mine aside.' Those are the things you feel the most regret for. So the things you said no to, for the past 6 months or more or however far back you want to reflect, those are generally the things that are at the heart of your purpose. And that is why, at times, we feel unfulfilled. We feel unsuccessful because we are not tapping into those. We keep pushing them aside because we say yes to all the other things.”

Some of Tonya's Favorite Things:

Routine to Relax: “Sunday routine for myself… Long Bath, full deep cleansing of my face.”

Boost Mood: “I love having music going. We have a speaker in our kitchen. I love having that going and changing the music to reflect the mood I want to be in.”

Favorite Easy Meal: “Pasta and homemade marinara: onion, garlic, can of diced tomatoes and basil.”

Connect with Loved Ones: “I really like carving out specific time for my kids. In the morning I go up and wake the kids up and spend time with each of them in the morning. Voxer App for extended family.”

Favorite Books:
How to Really Love Your Child
Start with Why” – by Simon Sinek (for work)
What Alice Forgot” and “Big Little Lies” (for personal) by Lianne Moriarity

Best Advice Received: “Time goes quickly.”

What does it mean to be a Vibrant Happy Woman?:

“Live a life that’s focused on your priorities and really making those priorities front and center every day.”

A Challenge from Tonya:

“Start trying to figure out a way for your family to plan together and integrate kids into looking at the week ahead. Calling your kids together and giving them the tools they need, to be productive adults.”

Links From This Episode:

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About jen

Jen Riday is a mom of 6 and life coach who loves to help women experience massive happiness as they let go of stress, sadness or other chronic emotions of negativity.

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